On the fifth day of Christmas, the D-backs gave to me...

Let's face it, it's not as if there's anyone on the Diamondbacks' team whose name immediately comes to mind if the word "gold" comes up in conversation. [Sorry, Zack: "Godley" isn't quite there, though AzRattler did make a heroic attempt to get you wedged in] And once you're there, the "rings" immediately gets rewritten into a term for home-runs - albeit one no longer approved of by the AP Style Guide. Fortunately, around these parts the AP Style Guide is, to quote Mr. J. Sparrow, "more what you'd call 'guidelines' than actual rules," even if there is certainly one Dinger we'd all be delighted to see driven (back) into extinction.

Makakilo, with a ppssible assist from aricat - or maybe someone else, the origins of this one appear lost in the mists of SnakePit history - was the first to come up with the anticipated verse, and so on the fifth day of Christmas, available at the team shop will be:

Five Goldy dingers

There are a number of ways we could look at these, in order to filter the 33 home-runs hit by Paul Goldschmidt into the smaller, gift-sized package required for the song. We could take the most important in game terms, led by his two-run homer, down to the last strike against the Cubs. Or discuss the five All-Stars he homered off this year: Clayton Kershaw, Madison Bumgarner, Matt Harvey, James Shields and Tim Hudson. [There are actually more than that, e.g. John Lackey but those are the most recent ones] But let's keep it simple: here are Goldy's five longest home-runs of the 2015 campaign.

These are based on "true" distance, as per HitTrackerOnline.com, which means unadjusted for conditions. Not that said adjustment would have made much difference, with the top three remaining the same. In ascending order of awesomeness they are...

#5. 438 feet. Off Will Harris (HOU), October 3rd

O HAI, former team-mate. Welcome back to Chase Field. Let me help you provide a souvenir for your former fans. This one was a true moon-shot not just in length, reaching an estimated height of 130 feet above the ground at its apex.

#4. 438 feet. Off Jordan Lyles (COL), May 6th

Whole the same "true" distance as #5, this one edges it with a "standard" distance three feet longer. That may be a surprise, given this one came at Coors Field. However, the temperature here was 25 degrees colder, more than enough to offset the altitude difference, and making this one more impressive.

#3. 443 feet. Off James Shields (SDP), May 8th

Just two days later, Goldschmidt went five feet better, and "Big Game James" became "Big Fly James". With a speed off the bat just shy of 111 mph, this one got out of Chase Field in a hurry. While described by mlb.com as "mammoth", wait till you get a load of the next couple...

#2. 470 feet. Off Pat Venditte (OAK), August 28th

Venditte, the famous "switch pitcher" will have cause to remember the first two home-runs he allowed in the majors. He started with a walk-off homer to Chris Davis, and followed that up with the insane blast below. There were only two longer ones by a D-back this year. One was Peter O'Brien (471 ft). And the other?

#1. 482 feet. Off John Lackey (STL), August 26th.

Giancarlo Stanton was the only man to hit a longer home-run than this in the majors during all of 2015, and it was the longest by a D-back at Chase Field since 2008. With typically Goldschmidtesque understatement, he said after the game, "I hit it good. I had a feeling it was going to get out of there." No kidding.

So, where are we?

On the fifth day of Christmas, the D-backs gave to me...
Five Goldy dingers...
Four falling chicken tenders...
Three free tacos...* [* terms and conditions apply]
Two gold gloves...
and a Corbin with a strike three!

For the next verse... Oh, God, we're back to birds again. Your starting point is "Six geese a-laying". Go...