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End of the year Potpourri

My last column of the season, should just print random thoughts Larry King USA Today style

Jake Roth-USA TODAY Sports

So since the season ends on Sunday, I won't be doing regular Friday columns, because that's how things work and I got stuff to do this winter, gawd you people, I'll just dump some Diamondbacks/Baseball related thoughts onto this space. Some of these are observations, some of these are fire emoji takes, some are esoteric. Let's go shall we?

  • The Diamondbacks weren't terrible this year, relatively speaking, and that's all I can ask.
  • Chip Hale and the current coaching staff are fine at their jobs
  • In the likely event that Matt Williams is justifiably 86'd by the Nationals, for the love of God don't bring him back in the fold in whatever capacity. That well is poisoned so bad that it's losing life on the world map from just walking around. And if you think "Nah, the Diamondbacks wouldn't do that." LOOK AT HALF OF THEIR CURRENT EMPLOYEES
  • I'm still mystified as to how the thing that Robbie Ray is irredeemably terrible got around. I mean, he's got his issues, but he's still pitched better than pick any random starting pitcher this year. I think people are just jealous of his rugged handsomeness.
  • We need to stop this scourge of taking Selphies at baseball games. Oversized Nunchuks and magical slot machines have no place
  • Who could have guessed that Jeremy Hellickson fell a little flat other than anyone with a brain stem?
  • The biggest loss this season was the mantle of "Dirtbag Team" to the Royals.
  • I miss being able to call Cliff Chad
  • I have nothing against the Astros, but being able to ruin their season this weekend would be sooooo nice.
  • The Churro Dog wasn't pushed as hard as the D-Bat Dog last year. This seems wrong.
  • The two things that are most involved in my life are live theatre and baseball. Neither of them seems to want to court young people. This probably won't end well.
  • Don't skimp on bourbon, get the good stuff.