Hah! Your lust for baseball news amuses me. Go plan your Ham-Egg Supreme Cup party.... or go scalp some tickets at Westgate or something.
In case you haven't already heard or didn't bother reading Jim's headline, the Diamondbacks (colloquially known as "we") have signed Yoan Lopez.
If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.