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Pit Your Wits 27: Championship Round

Jesse Johnson-USA TODAY Sports

Last week I challenged you to create a board game based on the 2014 Diamondbacks season, and the winners are:


baseball pariah

see how many unwritten rules you can enforce in order to turn the media against you. Extra points for making positive character traits into mocking buzzwords.

you design your own road to ruin…..

using the "eye for an eye" stratagem, or if that’s too biblical for you, you can go uber sabermetric and bunt for a base hit when you’re down by 8 and being no-hit. Bowl over catchers regardless if they’re blocking the plate. Steal that base when you’re up by five runs. Try to use every reliever in your bullpen when down by six and and the game is already 4 hours old. You can even make statements regarding an umpires integrity or physical condition.

The goal, your own 10 minute segment on Baseball Tonight trying to explain the new realities in baseball… triple score if you can point out the latent hypocrisy in the media.


It's already been invented

It’s called Jenga.

Already been created

SORRY: The 2014 Arizona Diamondbacks Edition

Operation: Dbacks Version

With extra emphasis on elbow and hand injuries


Trivial Pursuit

by Diamondhacks on Sep 18, 2014 | 1:07 AM

The mini-game is called "Rec'm All!"

With a slightly different spelling, that is the 2014 Diamondbacks board game. The goal of the game is to be the player who can find the greatest number of different ways to lose a baseball game.

I call it

Call of Duty. Its a great game that is fun for the whole family where you take turns sniping the elbows of different Dbacks players, all while shouting curse words at a television screen

Tommy John Twister

nuff said

by AzRattler on Sep 18, 2014 | 3:11 AM

So Many Choices

But "Diamondbacks Aggravation" seems to cover it all, from anger at the FO moves to frustration at the players performances.

Diamondbacks Monopoly

- The only properties are Jefferson and 7th streets, both low value properties with no opportunity to build anything on them that increases their value or generate revenue .
- The only utility is Waterworks, which is an synonym for tears.
- The only railroad is Reading, because that’s what you’d rather be doing.
- Community Chest gets you a free little league uniform, all of them a version of Diamondbacks.
- Chance is pegged to Didi GregoriusBABIP
- There is no such thing as Free Parking. Violators will be towed.
- Go to Jail is instead Go to the Cellar and there is no "just visiting" designation. It’s a permanent condition.
- Nobody every passes Go or collects $200.

The Second Half standings end as such:

Name Gold Silver Bronze Total Points
imstillhungry95 2 0 1 7
Jim McLennan 2 0 0 6
Diamondhacks 1 1 1 6
Fangdango 0 2 2 6
TucsonTim 1 0 3 6
Xipooo 0 3 0 6
SenSurround 1 1 0 5
JoeCB1991 0 2 1 5
MrMrrbi 1 0 1 4
piratedan7 1 0 1 4
James Attwood 0 1 0 2
DbacksSkins 0 0 2 2
The Lord Humungus 0 1 0 2
Makakilo 0 0 2 2
Paulnh 0 1 0 2
Rockstarr12 0 1 0 2
AJV19 0 0 1 1
Clefo 0 0 1 1
prwhitaker1 0 0 1 1
TylerO 0 0 1 1
AzRattler 0 0 1 1

It's been 26 grueling weeks, but a champion is still to be declared. Two competitors have been identified, it is now time for them to Pit. Their. Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits

kishi versus imstillhungry95, who will win??? Today's secret ingredient is:

Time Twister Challenge! Go back and find one of your old Pit Your Wits entries, and then try to improve it. Post the challenge category and the entry in the comments.

The competitors are to put their submission in the comments, and the rest of us will rec until we have a winner.