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Pit Your Wits 26: Are You Board Yet?

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Now check the Internet Faux Outrage chart and roll a D9. Add your GM's Hipster score (see page 46) to this result and compare to the chart.

Jamie Sabau

Last week I challenged you to name a qualification for any would-be Diamondbacks GM hire:

Gold-star_medium

Must have

Extreme vacuuming abilities. Rumor has it there is a lot if grit in the front office that needs to be cleaned up…

Silver-star_medium

We need a GM with a time machine,

So he can go back and undo all of Kevin Towers’ unthinkably terrible trades.

Bronze-star_medium

Management oppotunity

Successful candidate will have thick skin from attacks by skitterish fan base. Must be willing to stay away from trades with Billy Beane and Jerry Di Poto .

A good working knowledge of pool maintenance is a plus. Former Padres employees need not apply.

Magician

Requirements for an experienced magician.
1) make big contracts for replacement level performance dissappear.
2) when players are injured, pull replacements out of nowhere – hat optional.
3) pull coins out of the owners’ ears – use them for more players/prospects.
4) able to find beautiful & entertaining assistants – keeps fan interest high and distracts from the magic.

I think we should only consider candidates

that have experience as con-artists. We’re overdue to come out on the winning end of some trades.

The Second Half Standings look like this:

Name Gold Silver Bronze Total Points
Jim McLennan 2 0 0 6
imstillhungry95 2 0 0 6
Diamondhacks 1 1 0 5
SenSurround 1 1 0 5
Fangdango 0 2 1 5
TucsonTim 1 0 2 5
Xipooo 0 2 0 4
MrMrrbi 1 0 1 4
JoeCB1991 0 1 1 3
James Attwood 0 1 0 2
DbacksSkins 0 0 2 2
The Lord Humungus 0 1 0 2
Makakilo 0 0 2 2
Paulnh 0 1 0 2
AJV19 0 0 1 1
piratedan7 0 0 1 1
Clefo 0 0 1 1
prwhitaker1 0 0 1 1

This week's category:

You decide you want to be a Kickstarter Skrillionaire. Briefly describe a board game based on the 2014 Diamondbacks season.

A mini-game: rec as many posts as you can! Winner gets the satisfaction of turning things red.