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Pit Your Wits Week 20: Where History Comes Alive

Four score and seven years ago I schooled Martin van Buren's punk self with a fastball to ribs, ya dig?

Patrick Smith

Last week was a caption contest, and the winners were:


In an attempt to give up fewer home runs,

Addison Reed tries pitching with his feet.

by TucsonTim on Jul 30, 2014 | 9:57 PM


And here we have

Addison Reed practicing his interpretive dance routine – or maybe he’s trying to close a game. He should probably stick with the former, it’s likely he is better at it.

The contributor formerly known as TolkienBard.

by James Attwood on Jul 30, 2014 | 9:08 PM


Addison Reed

has been dancing in and out of trouble despite locking down saves this season. His secret? Ballet on the mound.

The footshooting will continue until the record improves.

After 2 weeks of Round 2, the standings look like this:

Name Gold Silver Bronze Total Points
MrMrrbi 1 0 0 3
TucsonTim 1 0 0 3
Diamondhacks 0 1 0 2
James Attwood 0 1 0 2
AJV19 0 0 1 1
DbacksSkins 0 0 1 1

This week's challenge:

Which historical figure would you order to get hit-by-pitch and why? Which unwritten rule did you violate in doing so?

Rec what you like. This is one thing you won't have to worry about retribution over. Watch out for the hand wringers, though!