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Diamondbacks 12, Rockies 7: Recapping...with Children

D-backs sweep the Rockies. That is good.

Ron Chenoy-USA TODAY Sports

Record: 26-36. Pace: 68-94. Change over last year: -9.

I'm not one of those perfect PTA Pinterest parents. Parenting can be frustrating, especially when you have a two year old running around, trying to get his grubby little fingers on everything. I thought I'd give a little glimpse into why my recaps read as if I'm reading it off ESPN's Gameday after the fact. If you want a more traditional recap, I'll direct your attention to the quick recap.

1st Inning

  • Henry, stop hitting your sister
  • No, this rice is for your lunch tomorrow. You already had rice.
  • Time to turn on the TV, wait, we're already up by 2 runs?
  • Prado didn't hit into a GIDP, WHAT A SHOCKER
  • Ah ffffffffff, Charlie Blackmon hit a home run. This is going to be a long game.
  • My son is mad at me, so he's taking off his socks.

2nd Inning

  • Boring draft stuff

3rd Inning

  • Oh look at that, vomit is on my shoulder
  • Miggy time!!!

4th Inning

  • Arroyo is bunting now, I think I missed something.
  • D-backs get another run but of course Parra gets immediately thrown out the plate. Sure, might not have been completely his fault, but let me have my narrative.
  • But wait! Replay!
  • No, wait, never mind, still out.
  • Stupid Tulo gets a double.
  • Cuddyer real mad about that strikeout. Sit yo smelf down.

5th Inning

  • Goldy home run starts things right, doing the Singles Ladies dance up in here
  •  photo beyonce-single-ladies-o_zps3696cdf3.gif
  • Arroyo gives up another double, RBI from LeMaheiu (???) to make it 5-2
  • Blackmon walks, and then a double steal, because of course
  • Nice scoop by Prado on a screaming liner to save a couple runs

6th Inning

  • Peralta with a lead off double, lolBlackmon and the ball clanking off his glove
  • Apparently didn't miss anything while getting my son to brush his teeth
  • Arroyo hitting a single? Madness!
  • Parra RBI double meansTACOS!!!
  • Owings getting in on the fun with a sac fly, 7-2 now
  • Ah dammit, Tulo gets a solo home run
  • 'Dinger, the front running mascot' - yeah, screw that guy!
  • Maybe Arroyo might be slowing down, gives up a double to Cuddyer
  • Oh wait, Whataburger commercial time, I guess he got out of it

7th Inning

  • Bottom 7th, man on 2nd, not the disaster I was expecting while I put my son to bed
  • Nice throw by Montero, but not in time and the run still scores to make it 7-4
  • Drew A Barrel Roll! on the steal
  • Now Tulo walks, I'm getting nervous
  • Big Baby, I hate you.
  • Ground out to Goldy yeeeeeeeeah!

8th Inning

  • Chavez with a walk, I bet this is the only interesting thing this inning
  • Or not: 2 run homer for Chris Owings
  • And then an inside the park home run for the Rockies? ffffffffffff

9th Inning

  • Miggy with a hit, I wish this game was over
  • Other stuff happened, I dunno the score is 12-7 now or something
  • Great leaping catch by Peralta to steal one from Tulo

Source: FanGraphs

Great: Chris Owings (29.8%)
Good: Miguel Montero (15.8%)
Bad: Trevor Cahil (-31.6%)

Gameday Thread almost reached 500 comments, with DbacksSkins leading the way with 101. He was joined by: Angry_Saguaro, AzDbackfanInDc, AzRattler, Circa4life, Clefo, DeadmanG, GuruB, Jim McLennan, JoeCB1991, Majabe, Rockkstarr12, SenSurround, TolkienBard, asteroid, blank_38, cheese1213, cole8865, dsadbacks2001, frienetic, hotclaws, jinnah, kishi, onedotfive, porty99, preston.salisbury, rd33, and txzona.

Tomorrow the D-backs are back at home to face the Hotlanta Braves. It's going to be a tough series, but with the way the Diamondbacks have being playing lately it should be fun. Either be here, or be somewhere else.