Diamondbacks 12, Rockies 7: Recapping...with Children

Record: 26-36. Pace: 68-94. Change over last year: -9.

I'm not one of those perfect PTA Pinterest parents. Parenting can be frustrating, especially when you have a two year old running around, trying to get his grubby little fingers on everything. I thought I'd give a little glimpse into why my recaps read as if I'm reading it off ESPN's Gameday after the fact. If you want a more traditional recap, I'll direct your attention to the quick recap.

1st Inning

• Henry, stop hitting your sister
• No, this rice is for your lunch tomorrow. You already had rice.
• Time to turn on the TV, wait, we're already up by 2 runs?
• Prado didn't hit into a GIDP, WHAT A SHOCKER
• Ah ffffffffff, Charlie Blackmon hit a home run. This is going to be a long game.
• My son is mad at me, so he's taking off his socks.

2nd Inning

• Boring draft stuff

3rd Inning

• Oh look at that, vomit is on my shoulder
• Miggy time!!!

4th Inning

• Arroyo is bunting now, I think I missed something.
• D-backs get another run but of course Parra gets immediately thrown out the plate. Sure, might not have been completely his fault, but let me have my narrative.
• But wait! Replay!
• No, wait, never mind, still out.
• Stupid Tulo gets a double.
• Cuddyer real mad about that strikeout. Sit yo smelf down.

5th Inning

• Goldy home run starts things right, doing the Singles Ladies dance up in here
• 
• Arroyo gives up another double, RBI from LeMaheiu (???) to make it 5-2
• Blackmon walks, and then a double steal, because of course
• Nice scoop by Prado on a screaming liner to save a couple runs

6th Inning

• Peralta with a lead off double, lolBlackmon and the ball clanking off his glove
• Apparently didn't miss anything while getting my son to brush his teeth
• Arroyo hitting a single? Madness!
• Parra RBI double meansTACOS!!!
• Owings getting in on the fun with a sac fly, 7-2 now
• Ah dammit, Tulo gets a solo home run
• 'Dinger, the front running mascot' - yeah, screw that guy!
• Maybe Arroyo might be slowing down, gives up a double to Cuddyer
• Oh wait, Whataburger commercial time, I guess he got out of it

7th Inning

• Bottom 7th, man on 2nd, not the disaster I was expecting while I put my son to bed
• Nice throw by Montero, but not in time and the run still scores to make it 7-4
• Drew A Barrel Roll! on the steal
• Now Tulo walks, I'm getting nervous
• Big Baby, I hate you.
  
• Ground out to Goldy yeeeeeeeeah!

8th Inning

• Chavez with a walk, I bet this is the only interesting thing this inning
• Or not: 2 run homer for Chris Owings
• And then an inside the park home run for the Rockies? ffffffffffff

9th Inning

• Miggy with a hit, I wish this game was over
• Other stuff happened, I dunno the score is 12-7 now or something
• Great leaping catch by Peralta to steal one from Tulo
• Win! Sweep! EAT THE CURB, ROCKIES