Diamondbacks 12, Padres 6: What beats tacos? Double tacos

Record: 22-33, On Pace: 65-97, Change on '04/'10/'13: +1/-1/-9

Okay, if I'd come to you and said that this game would have Chase Anderson leaving after the fifth, Tommy Medica coming within a single of hitting for the cycle, two errors on Martin Prado's fielding, and the Padres scoring tacos, you might have had some doubts about how cheerful the rest of this recap was going to be. But have I got good news for you, friend-who-doesn't-read-headlines-to-my-recaps!  It all started a long time ago, in a distant, distant land....

Okay, fine, it started in the first inning, in Chase Field. After getting a Chase Headley double play to end the top of the inning, A.J. Pollock stepped up to start the home half. It went a little like this:

• Pollock: Single
• Parra: Single
• Goldschmidt: RBI Double
• Montero: Walk
• Prado: RBI Single
• Hill: K
• Owings: RBI Single
• Inciarte: Two RBI Single
• (Padres starter pulled)
• Anderson: Sacrifice
• Pollock: Two RBI Double
• Parra: RBI Ground Rule Double
• Goldschmidt: Ground Out to end the inning

Yup, twelve Diamondbacks went to the plate in the bottom of the inning, and brought in eight runs, setting a new franchise record for most runs scored in a game. The runs that were charged to Tim Stauffer did some awful things to his ERA- but that's the be expected when he'd given up five earned runs in his first 23.2 innings, and then gave up seven earned runs for one out tonight. That takes him from a 1.90 to a 4.50 on the season. That's a pretty hefty swing.

Give the Padres credit, though- they didn't give up. In the top of the second, Tommy Medica took advantage of Martin Prado's fielding error to reach with one out, and then back to back singles from Jedd Gyorko and Cameron Maybin loaded the bases with one out. But Chase Anderson did work out of trouble, getting the next two batters to hit into outs and strand the threat. And the Diamondbacks bats weren't done yet- at the bottom of the second, Miguel Montero singled to lead off, and came in when Martin Prado followed it up with a home run. 10-0 DBacks, with nobody out in the second.

The rest of the second and the third innings passed by quietly, but the Padres continued to try to fight back in the fourth inning. A one out triple from Tommy Medica was followed by a ground out from Gyorko, scoring the run to put San Diego on the board. Maybin added a triple of his own, but he was stranded on a Yasmani Grandal strike out. The Diamondbacks stranded runners of their own in the bottom of the fourth, leaving Miguel Montero and Chris Owings on the corners.

Things got a touch bumpy in the fifth inning. A one out single by Everth Cabrera, possibly the best player ever to have a first name that sounds like a D&D setting, was followed by Seth Smith reaching safely on Martin Prado's second fielding error of the game. Chase Headley flew out, but Yonder Alonso singled to score Cabrera, and then Medica doubled to score Smith and Alonso. While we pondered if a Doctor Who joke would be appropriate on that play, Gyorko slapped a ground ball up the middle that looked like it deflected off Chase Anderson's leg. But to the pride of little league coaches everywhere, Anderson walked it off and then got Maybin to ground out to first, keeping the score at 10-4.

That was Anderson's last action on the field, as Cody Ross went in to pinch hit for him to start the bottom of the fifth, and struck out looking. As Anderson muttered that he could have done that, A.J. Pollock was hit by a pitch, signaling the end of Donn Roach's outing for San Diego. Paul Goldschmidt put up a two out single to give us runners at the corners, but they were stranded as Miguel Montero struck out swinging.

Randall Delgado took the mound in the sixth, getting a 1-2-3 inning. Martin Prado singled to start the bottom of the sixth, and was given a gift when Alex Torres airmailed the throw to first into foul territory. But, like mythical Icarus, Prado got greedy and rounded second, trying to stretch it out, and was thrown out at third. Whoops. Chris Owings hit a two out single and took second on a wild pitch, while Ender Inciarte walked, but, again, they were stranded.

After another 1-2-3 inning by Delgado, Troy Patton came in for the Padres, and was greeted with a double by A.J. Pollock. He got Parra to strike out swinging, but then Goldschmidt happened, crushing a pitch to deep center that hit his picture on the DBacks TV screen. The official estimate on the home run is 470 feet, but that doesn't include the damage potentially done to the display or the pitcher's ego.

Things got a little squiffy for Delgado in the eighth- squiffy is a technical term, ask any scientist. Medica led off the inning with a home run of his own, and then after two quick outs, Delgado walked Grandal and gave up singles to Will Venable and Cabrera. Joe Thatcher was summoned from the bullpen to get the third out, and faced the original dead horse topic, Carlos Quentin. And Thatcher... hit Quentin with a pitch to bring in another run and make the score 12-6. But as Delgado grumbled that he could have hit Quentin with a pitch, too, Thatcher got Headley to strike out swinging and end the inning.

After stranding Chris Owings on second in the bottom of the eighth, the ninth came with basically no drama, blessedly, as Trevor Cahill came in and, with a 1-2-3 inning, denied Tommy Medica at his bid for the first cycle in Padres history, and closed out the game, giving the Diamondbacks a 12-6 win and a series victory.

There's something remarkably pleasant about that graph there, and I'm pretty sure it's the steady stomping sensation of not giving the Padres any shot at winning the game. Good work, fellas.

A pretty busy GDT, with DBacksSkins taking first in comments, and onedotfive edging JoeCB1991 by a single post for second place. We also heard from Circa4life, Diamondhacks, Edwong81, GuruB, Jim McLennan, Makakilo, MrMrrbi, Rockkstarr12, SenSurround, SongBird, TolkienBard, asteroid, cheese1213, cole8865, emilylovesthedbacks, ford.williams.10, frienetic, hotclaws, kishi, porty99, preston.salisbury, and xmet.

So a series win means we gain ground on the Padres and inch closer to possibly being the fourth worst team in our division. The Reds come to town tomorrow for a four game set, after just dropping two of three to the Dodgers in Los Angeles. Be here or, y'know, do something else with your time, I'm not your mom.