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Diamondbacks 2, Cubs 9: #Twittercap

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You don't really want to read a detailed account of this one, do you? Because you're not going to get one here. Tonight, instead, it's a Very Special Recap - I was going to make it a musical version, but Joss Whedon isn't returning my calls for some reason.

Jerry Lai-USA TODAY Sports

Record: 5-18. Pace: 35-127. Change on 2013/2010/2004: -8/-6/-5.

This will be a different recap. It should have been imstillhungry85, but this afternoon, I got this plaintive little message:

As I mentioned: man, some people will do anything to avoid having to watch the 2014 Diamondbacks. Having already recapped last night, and not really have any interest in watching another fiasco unfold, I figured I'd take the lazy way out and get the Twitterverse to do it for me. Throw out a question each inning, paste the responses = easy recap. Except, of course, the reality is that this has probably taken longer to collate than it would have taken me to write a regular report. However, this was certainly a damn sight more interesting to put together, and many thanks are due to all the Twitters (Twitterers? Tweeters? Tweetees?) who contributed.

1st inning. What are the keys to the game?

2nd inning. Why do you think our pitching has been so much worse this season?

3td inning. What's good about the 2014 Diamondbacks?

Will the team escape this horrible start?

5th inning. McCarthy looks solid... So far... What's your opinion of him this season?

6th inning. Who do you hold most responsible for the wretched start to the season?

7th inning. What are you looking for in the rest of the season?

This was a good one. Lots of interesting answers here, from the acerbic to the ever-hopeful.

And a particularly plaintive:

8th inning. Which is a bigger problem: our hitting or our pitching?

9th inning. Why are we still here? #Existential #Angst

Yeah, let's end with a deep, philosophical question about the meaning of (baseball) life. And another bumper bunch of answers...

And a certain theme in the next few here...

Thanks a million to everyone who took part, and apologies to anyone who I had to miss out, because this is already longer than a usual recap! Maybe we'll do it again some time. But, on the whole, I'd rather the D-backs started winning, and people didn't feel it necessary to engage in self-harm to get out of their recaps!

Get well soon, ish95...

20140422_diamondbacks_cubs_0_20140422232343_live_medium
[Click to enlarge, at fangraphs.com]
Viral Tweet: Randall Delgado, +1.4%
Hacked account: Brandon McCarthy, -17.6%

Over in the regular Gameday Thread, TolkienBard was out in front, but there was a three-way tie for second place, between preston.salisbury, onedotfive and JoeCB1991. Also taking part (outside of the Twitter): 4 Corners Fan, AF DBacks Fanatic, BulldogsNotZags, Clefo, Diamondhacks, GODSCHMIDT, GuruB, JoelPre, Majabe, Makakilo, PR151, RobbieFVK, Toll Booth Willie, asteroid, catbat, cheese1213, dsadbacks2001, hotclaws, imstillhungry95, smartplays, txzona and xmet. TolkienBard also gets comment of the night for his response to GuruB saying he'd go on a hunger strike until the Diamondbacks win three in a row::

TolkienBard

I'll start work

on your obituary.

"A good friend of mine used to say, 'This is a very simple game. You throw the ball, you catch the ball, you hit the ball. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose, sometimes it rains.' Think about that for a while."

We're back at Wrigley tomorrow, for their 100th anniversary, so be prepared for a different look to the D-backs. It's also a day game, with first pitch a little after 11am in Arizona.