Diamondbacks Offseason: Maybe It Was Good? Might Not Have Been? Hell, I Don't Know

"The ancient oracle said that I was the wisest of all the Greeks. It is because I alone, of all the Greeks, know that I know nothing."

-Socrates

Was the offseason of the Arizona Diamondbacks good or bad? The answer, in my mind: it might have been good, but it could also have been pretty bad. I mean... yeah, I dunno.

Mark Trumbo

I imagine the conversation between Jerry DiPoto and Kevin Towers went something like this adapted Simpsons bit:

DIPOTO: Take this Trumbo, but you will be cursed without Skaggs and Eaton

TOWERS: Ooh, that's bad.

DIPOTO: But it comes with 30 Home Runs a year!

TOWERS: That's good!

DIPOTO: But he also strikes out a lot

TOWERS: That's bad.

DIPOTO: But you get his arbitration years!

TOWERS: That's good!

DIPOTO: He also has an extremely low OBP and has negative fielding value at all positions except First Base.

(Pause)

DIPOTO: That's bad.

TOWERS: Can I go now?

Trumbo is a bit of a Yin-Yang proposition. If his power, especially at Chase, shows up in spades it could possibly hide his other deficiencies. Then again, it might not and you're stuck with Mark Reynolds Outfield version. He could field better, especially with Pollock/Parra around to possibly cover some of his purported lack of range, but he's also not a natural outfielder, and we could be pining for the days of Jason Kubel.

I mean, it could work out? Maybe? Let's see.

Addison Reed

Hey, a young closer option, that's nice. And, again, entering arbitration so there's years of control.

Okay, yeah, gave up your top 3B prospect for him...

And there's the fact that if he gets a lot of saves, those arbitration years could get mighty expensive, because the Releievminati overvalues them as a stat. LOOK IT UP, SHEEPLE. #snakepitwars

Bronson Arroyo

He's durable, that's nice. The Diamondbacks used 8 starting pitchers last year, and this is a move that ensures that one of them isn't Zeke Spruill this year. He won't wow you, but he won't go all Rick Ankiel on you.

But a $4.5MM buyout? Oooof. And the rotation was already deep, this makes possibly too deep, and Randall Delgado might be stuck in the deep end with an inner-tube with a duck's head on it. Plus, he's not getting younger.

There's also the matter of this, first seen on MCC from Grant:

Sure, Billy Corgan said he was good, but at one point Billy Corgan thought that Zwan was a good idea, and he's a Cubs fan, so can we really trust his judgement? Also, people say that Arroyo's a good clubhouse guy, but bringing around 90s rock stars? That spells trouble. I don't want to live in a world where Scott Weiland and Fred Durst can just get up in Miguel Montero's personal space.

So Arroyo could work out, but he might not. Universe of infinite possibilities.

(But seriously, Zwan was awful.)

Anything Could Happen

The thing about the offseason, can't really say anything until games start being played. I, personally, do not expect the Diamondbacks to make the postseason this season. However, the last two times they made the postseason were also years I came in with similar expectations. Things could weirdly fit together and everyone is happy and has ice cream and starts puking rainbows!

But it could be another 81-81 season. Or worse. That would be bad. I would personally vouch for a federal law that lets you punch anybody who makes a grit joke should that happen.

I could realistically see it going either way. That's the beauty of Baseball. We won't know until they start playing next month.

So my offseason summation: I don't know, geez stop asking, I'm trying to watch TV. Go away.