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Week 5 Results
AZ SnakePit 3, Sofa King Juiced 6
Sofa's offense exploted, led by Fielder (three HR, 10 RBI) and Holliday (eight R, three HR), as they took all five hitting points. Snake fought back on the mound, behind Strasburg's 16 strikeouts: Reed saved two for them, as Balfour did for Juiced: wins ended tied at three apiece.
MyWieterGetzLongoria 4, Waffles 6
Waffled edged Wieter, but it could have gone either way: Waffles took BA by just .001. Rizzo's two SB and .357 for the winners likely proved key, though Segura also had three HR. Fernandez got a W + 13 K's for Wieter, Samardzija adding 13 K's. Gonzalez got a W + 14 K for Waffles.
Phoenix Platypi 1, Alabama Slammers 8
The week's biggest blowout saw Platypi implode almost completely, K's being their only win behind Darvish's W + 23 K. Otherwise, it was all Alabama: Gonzalez had two HR and six Runs, Romo picked up a Win and four Saves, and Slowey notched a W plus 15 strikeouts.
Mizzoula Osprey 6, Got Grittiness? 4
The Osprey had a good week from Cabrera, who had three HR, eight Runs and 10 RBI; Machado also had three HR for Grittiness, as both teams batted over .300 for the week. Garza had two Wins and six K's for Mizzoula, but Got had Pitcher of the Week Verlander (two W, 17 K).
Dirt McGrit 5, Blonde Streaks 4
The week's closest game saw Dirt edge Blonde, SB ending tied. McGrit were ahead on offense behind Reynolds (five R, five RBI), despite the Streaks' Sandoval, who had six R and drove in five. Hammel's two W and 10 K's led Blonde's pitching, but Lester fanned 12 as Dirt held on.
CompleteGameShutout 7, The Fighting Amish 2
Complete lifted themselves out of last with this solid win, sweeping pitching: Hudson got two W + 13 K for them, while Latos got two + 10 K for the Amish, They also got three Home-Runs and six Runs by Wright, but Shutout three HR + 10 RBI from Trout, and three HR by Betancourt.
Space Wizard 7, Moved Upton 3
After a disastrous 2-18 start, Space picked up their third win in a row, hitting .317 and getting five HR and eight RBI from Hitter of the Week Trumbo; Kipnis and Soriano each had two HR + seven RBI. Pujols had three HR for Moved, and Scherzer got two Wins and 18 K in a losing cause.
Standings
| Rank | Team | W-L-T | Pct | GB | Last Week | Waiver | Moves |
| 1. | Sofa King Juiced | 36-13-1 | .730 | - | 6-3-1 | 2 | 8 |
| 2. | Mizzoula Osprey | 32-15-3 | .670 | 3 | 6-4-0 | 12 | 10 |
| 3. | Alabama Slammers | 28-17-5 | .610 | 6 | 8-1-1 | 13 | 14 |
| 4. | Waffles | 29-20-1 | .590 | 7 | 6-4-0 | 9 | 15 |
| 5. | Blonde Streaks | 25-21-4 | .540 | 9.5 | 4-5-1 | 10 | 10 |
| 6. | Phoenix Platypi | 25-22-3 | .530 | 10 | 1-8-1 | 3 | 4 |
| 7. | Dirt McGrit | 24-22-4 | .520 | 10.5 | 5-4-1 | 14 | 9 |
| 8. | Moved Upton | 25-24-1 | .510 | 11 | 3-7-0 | 4 | 7 |
| 9. | AZ SnakePit | 21-25-4 | .460 | 13.5 | 3-6-1 | 1 | 4 |
| 10. | MyWieterGetzLongoria | 20-27-3 | .430 | 15 | 4-6-0 | 7 | 8 |
| 11. | Space Wizard | 19-28-3 | .410 | 16 | 7-3-0 | 5 | 2 |
| 12. | The Fighting Amish | 16-29-5 | .370 | 18 | 2-7-1 | 6 | 12 |
| 13. | CompleteGameShutout | 16-31-3 | .350 | 19 | 7-2-1 | 8 | 13 |
| 14. | Got Grittiness? | 13-35-2 | .280 | 22.5 | 4-6-0 | 11 | 17 |
Week 6 Games
AZ SnakePit vs. Mizzoula Osprey
MyWieterGetzLongoria vs. Sofa King Juiced
Phoenix Platypi vs. Waffles
Alabama Slammers vs. Moved Upton
Dirt McGrit vs. Got Grittiness?
CompleteGameShutout vs. Blonde Streaks
Space Wizard vs. The Fighting Amish
Phoenix Platypi vs. Waffles will be the ESPN Game of the Week. The wheels fell off the Platypimobile entirely last week, as they fell to the Slammers, and they'll be looking to bounce back behind Darvish. Waffles have now won three games in a row, with Kinsler being their best player to date.