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Week 7 Results
AZ SnakePit 3, Dirt McGrit 6
Snake had a power outage, managing only two homers and 15 RBI; Reed saved three games for them. Dirt got two home-runs and nine driven in by Zimmerman to lead their offense, with Cano just one RBI behind. Zimmermann (extra N!) got a W + 11 K, and Sanchez a W + 10.
MyWieterGetzLongoria 4, Mizzoula Osprey 5
The Osprey squeaked past Longoria, Saves ending tied at three. They swept hitting, batting .308, behind Hitter of the Week Cabrera (four HR, seven RBI) and Goldschmidt (three HR). But Wieter bounced back on the mound, behind Hernandez's 16 K's and Kimbrel's three Sv.
Phoenix Platypi 0, Sofa King Juiced 8
After being clubbed in the last round, Sofa administered one of their own. They took all five pitching points, with seven W and a 2.69 ERA - Minor had a W + 13 K. Phoenix got two W + 11 K from Moore, and fought to a tie in HR and RBI, where Rios had two HR and seven RBI for Sofa
Alabama Slammers 4, Waffles 6
Waffled piled up 58 K's, Griffin and Peavy each getting 13, as well as a Win; Street's two Saves also proved crucial. Alabama held their own at the plate, Butler driving in ten runs, backed by three HR and eight RBI by Gonzalez; Waffled countered with two HR and six RBI from Cruz.
CompleteGameShutout 1, Got Grittiness? 9
Complete couldn't pick up a single W this week, and a round-high tying 13 HR was their only success - Ramirez had two, and six RBI. Otherwise, it was all Grittiness, Bruce had two HR and seven RBI for them, while Mujica saved four, and Vargas picked up a pair of victories as they cruised.
Space Wizard 5, Blonde Streaks 2
This was closer than it looked, with SB, W and Sv all ending tied. Blonde took K, Fister notching ten and a Win, but the Wizards countered with 13 K's for Burnett, and came within one SB of sweeping the offensive categories. Kipnis had three HR and eight RBI, and Votto scored seven.
The Fighting Amish 6, Moved Upton 4
The Amish still dropped into last place, but the win perhaps provides some hope. They had a 1.30 ERA behind Pitcher of the Week Masterson (two W, 20 K, zero ERA) and got three HR and 12 RBI from Ortiz. LaRoche had four HR for Upton, and Bailey added a W + 13 strikeouts.
Standings
| Rank | Team | W-L-T | Pct | GB | Last | Waiver | Moves |
| 1. | Sofa King Juiced | 45-20-5 | .679 | - | 8-0-2 | 2 | 9 |
| 2. | Waffles | 41-27-2 | .600 | 5.5 | 6-4-0 | 9 | 20 |
| Mizzoula Osprey | 40-26-4 | .600 | 5.5 | 5-4-1 | 11 | 14 | |
| 4. | Dirt McGrit | 35-28-7 | .550 | 9 | 6-3-1 | 13 | 14 |
| 5. | Alabama Slammers | 35-30-5 | .536 | 10 | 4-6-0 | 12 | 20 |
| 6. | Moved Upton | 36-33-1 | .521 | 11 | 4-6-0 | 4 | 11 |
| 7. | Space Wizard | 32-32-6 | .500 | 12.5 | 5-2-3 | 5 | 2 |
| 8. | MyWieterGetzLongoria | 31-33-6 | .486 | 13.5 | 4-5-1 | 7 | 8 |
| 9. | AZ SnakePit | 31-34-5 | .479 | 14 | 3-6-1 | 1 | 6 |
| 10. | Blonde Streaks | 28-35-7 | .450 | 16 | 2-5-3 | 10 | 11 |
| 11. | Phoenix Platypi | 28-36-6 | .443 | 16.5 | 0-8-2 | 3 | 6 |
| 12. | CompleteGameShutout | 26-41-3 | .393 | 20 | 1-9-0 | 8 | 17 |
| 13. | Got Grittiness? | 25-41-4 | .386 | 20.5 | 9-1-0 | 14 | 22 |
| 14. | The Fighting Amish | 24-41-5 | .379 | 21 | 6-4-0 | 6 | 17 |
Week 8 Games
AZ SnakePit vs. CompleteGameShutout
MyWieterGetzLongoria vs. Dirt McGrit
Phoenix Platypi vs. Mizzoula Osprey
Alabama Slammers vs. Sofa King Juiced
Waffles vs. Moved Upton
Space Wizard vs. Got Grittiness?
The Fighting Amish vs. Blonde Streaks
Sofa King Juiced against the Alabama Slammers is the ESPN Game of the Week. Sofa have tended to win big or go home: four of their five victories, they've held the opposition to two points or less, but their two losses were by an average margin of four points. Alabama have suffered consecutive losses for the first time since Week 12 + 13 last year, so the reigning champions will want to avoid extending the streak any further.