Phillies 3, Diamondbacks 1: NO WAY GARY

The first two games of this series could accurately be described as "Well, the Diamondbacks offense was slightly less bad than the Phillies offense so we won." Basically, this game was the same thing, but reverse the two teams in that sentence. That's all you really need to know, good night!

....

Oh fiiiiiiine you want to know more? Well, A.J. Pollock lead off the Diamondbacks in the bottom of the first with a leadoff double off Cliff Lee. He did not score, as can be the wont of the team. It was an auspicious start, and set the tone for the Diamondbacks offense the rest of the way. Fortunately, the Phillies were doing much the same thing against Trevor Cahill, stranding runners in innings two through four against him. However, Cahill was throwing many many pitches. He had some accuracy issues, to be sure, but they were compounded by home plate umpire Gary Cederson not giving him the edge of the strike zone, especially on his breaking pitches. That's fine, so long as the zone is consistent throughout the game, then it won't be an issue.

The Diamondbacks also threatened in the third when Pollock got himself another double. However, he made the cardinal mistake of running on first move with a lefty pitching and was picked off. After trading a few more zeroes, the Phillies were able to get on the board first. Ben Revere, who is not a particularly noteworthy hitter in any way, got a leadoff walk. One wild pitch and sac bunt later and Revere was on third. Jimmy Rollins hit a sac-fly to make the game 1-0.

Cahill's pitch count was up, and he was pulled for a pinch hitter in the bottom of the fifth. Said pinch hitter was Jason Kubel, facing the tough lefty Lee. Why did this happen? Dunno, reasons? Anyway, Kubel grounded out and ended that.

Josh Collmenter came into the game and pitched a 1-2-3 sixth inning. He came out for the seventh and somehow let Ben Revere get on base again. A stolen base, sac bunt, and single later and it was 2-0. Collmenter giving up that run ended a 7-game scoreless streak for the bullpen.

The Diamondbacks threatened in the bottom of the seventh. Miguel Montero, Gerardo Parra, and Josh Wilson had loaded the bases with two outs against Lee who had over 110 pitches at that point. Wil Nieves came up to pinch hit and promptly grounded out. *sigh*.

Tony Sipp came on in the eighth and allowed a few baserunners and a Dominic Brown RBI single to make it 3-0 in phavor of the Phillies.

In this episode of the "Moral Victory Hour", Cody Ross was able to get a sac-fly off of Jonathan Papelbon in the bottom of the eighth to make it 3-1, thus ensuring the D'Backs would not be shut out, and they still have yet to be this season. Miggy was the next batter, and he struck out looking. He was not happy about this. Why? Well, strike three was a tailing fastball that was more than a few inches off the plate. Like way off. Like "Why wasn't stuff that was closer than this called for Cahill you blind son-of-a-bitch?" off. Miggy also didn't agree, prompting the microphones at the game to pick him up yelling the title of this recap.

Miggy was lucky to not be thrown out of the game for his well-deserved tirade at Gary "I'VE NEVER LEARNED HOW TOAST WORKS" Cederson. However, the idea of "Josh Wilson, emergency catcher" was a bit enticing in a "I'm curious to see how this would have worked out" way. However, Miggy stayed in the game. Matt Reynolds came on and got into a bit of trouble. However he and Brad Ziegler were able to get out of the jam, preserving the 0.00 ERA from The Pitching Guru(TM).

The bottom of the ninth produced some drama. Gerardo Parra singled and Eric Chavez doubled to create a situations with runners on second and third with no outs. Eric Hinske came up to the plate. You would think of him as someone who could drive something to at least score one run, and you would normally be right. However, he swung through three pitches that, in this recapper's opinion, he should have crushed. A.J. Pollock also struck out to end the game and end the win streak. C'est la' vie.

Someone With Functioning Eyes and Judgement: Eric Chavez, +18.6%
Gary Cederson: Martin Prado, -15.4%