Diamondbacks 3, Rockies 2: Walk-Off, Flock-Off, Flame

Arizona Revised Statutes Title 50 - The Diamondbacks

50-101:

The Diamondbacks may not win games by more than one run. Why? YOLO!

Also, soco is going to make a pedantic correction to this joke.

Tonight was also Wade Miley Garden Gnome night. You would never have guessed, since nobody involved with the Diamondbacks hyped it up at all. It was really under the radar. Miley himself did not start the game on a good note. In the 1st inning he walked four batters. Normally, you'd be like "Oh noez! Runz!", but the only ball hit in play that inning was Carlos Gonzalez hitting into a double play. Miley loaded the bases again, and then struck out Wilin Rosario to end the threat.

The D'Backs struck back in the bottom of the inning. A.J. Pollock (The A.J. stands for "Action Jackson") hit a solo home run that was crushed to left to make it 1-0. Miguel Montero would later get on base via the "BREAK THE BAT AT THE PITCHER!" method. Cody Ross then tripled him home to make it 2-0 D'Backs.

Miley breezed through the 2nd, but ran into trouble in the 3rd (got out of it.) and the 4th (got out of it) and the 5th (did not). He was pulled with one out in the 4th with the bases loaded for Brad Ziegler. Miley walked seven batters in less than five innings. That prompted this reaction from me:




Ziegler did his thing and got a double play. Ziegler came back out for the 6th and promptly gave up a leadoff home run to Rosario to make it 2-1 D'Backs.

It should be noted at this point that Rockies starter Jeff Francis was pulled. The D'Backs only got two runs off of him. Jeff Francis. He is terrible. I mean, not a terrible human being. He'll probably lend you his lawnmower and not be too pushy about getting it back, but he currently has an ERA of 8.44 and a WHIP over 2. OVER 2! And we only got two runs off of him. Sheesh.

We go to the top of the 7th. Heath Bell came into the game and gave up a leadoff double to Dexter Fowler that was thiiiiiiiiiiis close to a TOOBLAN had Gerardo Parra gotten a good throw in. But alas, he did not, and that runner scored on a two out single by Troy Tulowitzki. In a nice bit of schadenfruede, Tulo got himself thrown out trying to stretch that hit into a double, but the damage was done and the game was tied.

Despite having runners in scoring position in the bottom of the inning, Martin Prado could not drive them in with two outs (more on this later.) David Hernandez came in the game in the 8th. He gave up back to back hits to Michael Cuddyer and Rosario. However, something magical happened. Cuddyer was picked off by Montero when he went too far off second. However, Rosario was able to advance. Josh Rutledge then lined out to Gerardo Parra, and Rosario, clearly not learning the lessons of SOMETHING THAT JUST HAPPENED LOL, was too far off second and was doubled off on second, ending the threat.

Hernandez came out for another inning, and put up another zero, but without much fuss. In the bottom of the 9th, the D'Backs had a chance to win it. There were two outs and Josh Wilson on second base. Martin Prado came up with a chance to win it!... He then swung at two terrible out of the zone pitches to end the threat, and we go to extras, once again.

J.J. Putz threw six total pitches to get three outs in the top of the 10th. In the next half, Action Jackson Pollock got a seeing eye leadoff single against Edgmer Escalona. After a Paul Goldschmidt strikeout, Montero came up. Pollock decided to steal second base. This is not a bad idea, as you need only one run and getting it in scoring position is a nice thing. Wilin Rosario decided to be extra nice and throw it into the outfield, sending Pollock to third. Montero was then intentionally walked, bringing up Cody Ross. He hit a fly ball that was deep enough to score Pollock, and that was that and the Diamondbacks won once again in extras. They are 6-0 this season so far, which is TOTALLY sustainable, but loads of fun!

I guess it's fitting

that on Wade Miley Garden Gnome night he’d go…a little short.

I saw it with my WIZARD eyes!

by soco on Apr 27, 2013 | 7:43 PM reply rec (10) actions

Tomorrow the Good Guys go for a series win against the Not Good Guys. Patrick Corbin takes on Jon Garland at 1:10 PM.