The Language of Baseball: SnakePit Slang

It's been 3 years since we last had a Rules & Phrases article, and it's probably about time to have another look at the latter. Why? Well, virtually the entire roster has been changed since that last article, so it's probably not relevant to make Fatburger and Littlest Ballplayer jokes.

What's to follow is in no means a comprehensive or unchanging list. These are a selection of things suggested by the writers, and I'm opening to adding more for future reference. It's just a guide in case it's gets to June and you're wondering why some are calling Wade Miley "Torgo."

St. Penelope: the original patron saint of the SnakePit, Penelope Cruz's image has protected us through thick and thin. Only invoke her name under the most distressing situations.

The Uecker Line: this is our PC-approved version of the Mendoza line, after npineda complained, tongue-in-cheek, about the racial nature of the label in the April 10th, 2007 recap. It's actually more accurate, since Mario Mendoza's career average was actually .215, while Bob Uecker batted exactly .200 during his time in the majors. Uecker is, however, somewhat harder to spell, and is also generally worth less in Scrabble.

DFA [fill in the blank]: Literally means "designated for assignment," which is the first step in releasing someone from the team. Generally used playfully after a player (or poster) does something stupid or wrong.

TOOTBLAN: Thrown Out On The Basepaths Like A Nincompoop, the phrase was originally coined for Ryan Theriot of the Cubs by a Cubs blogger. It most fits for Willie Bloomquist, but really fits any stupid baserunning.

Next Derek Jeter: Didi Gregorious, as Kevin Towers made a player comparison of the young shortstop. Has since morphed into a larger joke about homerish player analysis.

Torgo: Wade Miley. He looks like Torgo, of America's Greatest Film, "Manos, Hands of Fate."

Frenchie: Jeff Francoeur, deemed Snakepit's favorite Non-Diamondback due to his great fan rapport in 2 prior Spring Training meetups.

'[Insert Player Name] could have done that': a mocking phrase originally lofted on Jason Kubel early last year to highlight his lesser defensive capabilities in comparison to Gerardo Parra.

Ponies: 08/09/2011, the Diamondbacks were hoping to make the playoffs and were getting trounced by the Astros. Through the power of posting ponies, we willed our team onto victory. The power of the ponies can only be unleashed on the anniversary of this holiday. For prior reference, Pony Dome I and Pony Dome II.

Margin: Originally to signify a conversation in the comments has gone on too long and has jutted up against the right-hand margin, now also used to curtail any unwanted threads.

Froompiece: A piece of swearing invented by our very own hotclaws, it's a useful place word for more randy phrases. Pro tip: use it like Starbuck uses "frakk!"

Clefoing: phenomenon introduced by Clefo (hence the name) wherein he would rant in all caps. This is not a particularly new phenomenon on the internet, but Clefoing has some subtle nuances.

1. Troy Tulowitzki is usually disparaged in some manner.

2. Everything else borders on a style evocative of early 20th century Futurism

3. Brian Dennehy is name-dropped.

For example: HA HA TULO, YOU JUST STRUCK OUT ON THREE STRAIGHT PITCHES BY MIKE ZAGURSKI, GO STARE INTO YOUR NIGHTMARISH MIRROR OF REGRET AND CRY ALONE AND AFRAID, AND WHEN YOU SEE THAT VISAGE, YOU WILL SEE BRIAN DENNEHY LOOKING BACK AT YOU, CACKLING AT YOUR PAIN.

WIth the slew of new players I'm sure there will be new nicknames and phrases soon, but if you have any other suggestions that currently relevant (or something you've been wanting to ask) then put it in the comments below.