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Pit Your Wits Week 2: CONFORM CONFORM

Week 2 of the creative wordsmith competition is underway!


So I'm sick today, and I'm not going to do my usual weird opening paragraph where I talk about my favorite 311 album (I have the roundtable for that) and somehow tie it in with Miguel Montero's OPS+ and laughs are had.

Speaking of which, last week's challenge was to caption a picture of the aforementioned Montero. Let's see who won based on recs received:

First Place - Jim McLennan (10 Recs)

Dear Chris Snyder

I think I found something you left behind here in Arizona.
Love, Miggy.

"Let there be, let there always be,
Never-ending light..."

Second Place - blank_38 (9 Recs)

Miggy: Will Paul Goldschmidt hit 30 homers this season?

/shakes baseball

Magic Baseball: My sources say no.

Pretty limited player, and tiny sample in AA. RT @aggiegriff2009: Any reason the Diamondbacks aren’t moving Paul Goldschmidt into triple A?

— keithlaw (@keithlaw) May 3, 2011

Your constant harassment of the female gender makes me sick.

Third Place - TylerO (7 Recs)

"Wow, you really can block out all of the Snakepitters in section 207 with a single baseball!"

My signature is currently on the DL. Spring training IS too long...

That would make the standings...

Person Points
Jim McLennan 6
blank_38 3
TylerO 1

Challenge this week:

A lot of kerfuffle was uffled over Ken Kendrick and his dress code rules when it came to Dodger fans. On one hand, it seems like a silly policy to have and makes you seem petty when you enforce it, on the other: Dodger fans in Phoenix are not people.

However, we at PYW think that this policy is soft, and that more necessary draconian measures should be put in place to maintain home field advantage for the Diamondbacks. Your job this week is to think up of a rule to make opposing fans conform in some way. Keep in mind that this is a comedy contest so keep it light (no genocide, plzthnx). Rec the other entries you like, and the top three rec-havers will get points, and points mean prizes!