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Pit Your Wits Week 17: Acronym-nym-nym

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As I sit here, on the 17th week of Pit Your Wits, and think of something pithy and non-related to write in this opening paragraph part that kills enough time until the jump in a fashion that does not look weird on the page, I sometimes wonder if it's worth it. But then I remember a quote that Jonah Lehrer made up: "Clefo is totally cool and should totally keep doing this kind of thing, plus he's a better person than me" - Mohandas K. Gandhi.

Last week, I asked you to divine what was going on in that behind closed doors in that meeting last week in Los Angeles between Stephen Drew and Kirk Gibson. Y'all did not disappoint. Follow after the jump for results and this week's challenge.


Gold goes to soco for this dramatic reinactment:

Gibby: Come in, shut the door.

(Drew shuffles into the dingy office, closes the door, then tries to find a spot not covered with empty Chinese takeout containers)

Drew: You wanted to see me, boss?

Gibby: There’s a problem.

Drew: A problem, sir?

Gibby: Dammit, kid, you heard me. The runs haven’t been as regular as people have been expecting and I need you to find out why.

(Gibby takes a half chewed, half smoked cigar out of a Chinese takeout container, lights it and inhales deeply before blowing it in Drew’s face).

Gibby (cont): Get out there and figure it out, and don’t come back until you do!

(Montage: Drew travels around Los Angeles, interviewing people, watching baseball clips, and finds out that Gibson has slowly "bought up" runs with the names of various dead Dodgers such as Tommy Lasorda and Vin Scully. Drew then travels out to Chavez Ravine where he runs into a couple unnamed thugs who cut him on the nose for not minding his own business. He finally gets the piece of the puzzle he’s being looking for, though: Gibson has been buying up runs so he can hoard them all for himself. He drives back to the stadium to confront Gibby)

Gibby: Did you figure it out?

Drew: Yeah, I did. Don’t you wanna explain, you bastard?

(The team looks up from their various spots in the locker room)

Gibby: I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Drew: You’re buyin’ up all the runs! That’s why we can’t score consistently!

(Goldschmidt steps forward)

Goldschmidt: Is that true, skipper?

Gibby: He’s gone crazy. All that time on the DL.

Drew: It’s true and I can prove it!

(Gibby pulls a pistol)

Gibby: Say another word and I’ll shoot you between the eyes.

(The locker room is deathly silent as all the players look on)

Gibby: Now, anyone else have something to say?

(Lyle Overbay stands up)

Overbay: I believe Drew. You’ve been stealin’ the runs.

(Overbay steps toward, brandishing a pistol of his own. Before anyone can react, he shoots Gibby in the arm, who responds by shooting Overbay in the heart. A faint echo can be heard:)

Scully (O/S): I don’t believe what I just saw!

Gibby: Come on, Bloomquist, I got to bat you lead off. And let you try to steal.

(He leaves with Bloomquist. Drew steps forward as if to stop them. Aaron Hill reaches out, puts a hand on his shoulder, and stops him)

Hill: Forget, Drew. It’s Gibbytown.

The motto is not "Don't Disagree." It's "Disagree Better."

by soco on Aug 1, 2012 5:23 PM MST reply actions 8 recs

Silver goes to kishi for this moment of awk-ward:

Gibby: "Now, Ste-"
Drew: "It’s okay, I understand."
Gibby: "No, wha-"
Drew: "You know, it’s just been a bad few months."
Gibby: "What I-
Drew: "And this injury! It wasn’t easy! Did you see me reset my leg?"
Gibby: "Step-"
Drew: "And I’m trying, Gibby! I’m hitting the ball, it just isn’t falling my way!"
GIbby: "Bu-"
Drew: "Oh sure, but Willie’s getting hits! And all these new guys!"
Gibby: "Wa-"
Drew: "And the off-season! All this stress! It’s all adding up!"
Gibby: "DREW!"
Drew: "Sorry, what did you want to say, coach?"
Gibby: "I just wanted to give you back that movie I borrowed from you."
Drew: "…oh."
::awkward pause::
Gibby: ::slides the DVD case across the desk:: "So, uh, have a good game."

Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not "one plus two plus one plus one."

by kishi on Aug 1, 2012 9:24 PM MST reply actions 5 recs


blank_38 wins bronze for this lovely repartee:

Gibson: "Sit down Stephen."

Drew: "Yessir."

Gibson: "What are our chances you think?"

Drew: "Well, we’re starting to play bett…"

Gibson: "Not US dumba$$, the women’s team gymnastics!"

Drew: "Well uh… um… Good?"

Gibson: "Good. I win 40 Coke Points if they win Gold. Thanks for the talk Stephen, it was nice."

Drew: "You’re uh… welcome…skip."

by blank_38 on Aug 1, 2012 8:16 PM MST reply actions 4 recs

Here are the standings:

Person Points
kishi 30
blank_38 23
Bryn21 18
SenSurround 18
luckycc 16
soco 15
imstillhungry95 14
piratedan7 9
NonPartisan 9
Zavada's Moustache 8
jjwaltrip 6
aclaritymaven 6
Fangdango 6
hotclaws 5
Diamondhacks 5
Jim McLennan 3
Rockkstarr12 3
BulldogsNotZags 1
PR151 1
jinnah 1
since98 1
4 Corners Fan 1

Bit of housekeeping. I was asked over the tweety last week about second half standings and separating first and second half. I am keeping track of second half points, but in private. I want to keep the leaderboard an overall one since the second half prize will be shiny, (like, eggshell or so), but the overall prize is meant to be super shiny (like gloss).

Anyway, this week's challenge delves back into the realm of simple poetry styles. In your life, you probably were made to write an acronym poem in elementary school. An acronym poem is where you take something (like your name) and use the letters in it to form the first letters of sentences and thoughts, going down. For example, if your name was Bob:




It's a fairly straightforward concept. What I want you to do this week is to make one using the word "DIAMONDBACKS". Only Diamondbacks, anyone who tries to circumvent the "IAMOND" and just use "D'Backs" will be disqualified. It would be like bringing a peasant to a knight fight.

Post ones below, rec the ones you like, etc

Go do stuff!