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Pit Your Wits Week 13: June Was Bustin' Out All Over


Hi. Me again. You may have watched the previous four D'Backs games and come to the following reasonable conclusion:

"Well, obviously I am in some sort of vivid hellscape of my imagination. That is the only thing that makes sense. I mean, obviously I blacked out at that They Might Be Giants concert two years ago not because of too much gin, but because I was poisoned and taken to a secret lab. When I woke up, I wasn't really in an alley surrounded by hobos trying to see if I had anything valuable. No, I was put in a secret stasis pod in a government bunker in the Montana badlands, where a Black Ops agency that went rogue is projecting a false reality to my brain in my pod. Why are they doing this? Obviously, they're trying to harvest my happiness to create a superweapon that will fire sadness at Russia. Totally makes sense. How else could the D'Backs be swept at home by the Padres, and then Steve Nash does that thing?"

Yes, that is the conclusion I would have reached too, but unfortunately, this is real life. I'll leave you to your commiserations, but look at last week's results and stuff first!
Last week's challenge got buried a little bit in the first half of Trevor Bauer related hand-wringing, but there were some good entries, and there must always be a winner and stuff. ICYMI: You were supposed to finish the following odd premise for a joke: Racin' Gracie and the Chorizo Sausage are sitting on a bench...


Fangdango can be put on the board.... YES with this 4 rec performance:

Racin' Gracie and the Chorizo Sausage are sitting on a bench...

Nodding in agreement that "nobody really wants to look too closely at what’s inside either of us."

" The future ain't what it used to be "

by Fangdango on Jun 29, 2012 9:38 AM MST reply actions 4 recs


A tie for second between Diamondhacks and hotclaws. How about that?


Racin' Gracie and the Chorizo Sausage are sitting on a bench...

and Gracie says, "Hey, Chorizo. I ‘ve seen you foolin’ around, like I used to, but I’m divorced and you’ve been happily married to Ms Buns for twenty years! What’s your secret?"

Chorizo: [whispering slowly]: Ne-ver re-move the som-brero.


Racin' Gracie and the Chorizo Sausage are sitting on a bench...

Gracie says "where’s the soap?" and the sausage says " there;s a whisky named after you"

♯♩♪ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way ♫♬♭♮

by hotclaws on Jun 29, 2012 2:19 AM MST reply actions


There is also a tie for third. Damnedest thing. piratedan7 and Nonpartisan each get a point.


Racin' Gracie and the Chorizo Sausage are sitting on a bench...

so tell me RG, what did Daron Sutton say to you to get him suspended?

I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused....

by piratedan7 on Jun 28, 2012 10:20 PM MST reply actions 2 recs


Racin' Gracie and the Chorizo Sausage are sitting on a bench...

…but I repeat myself.

Randy Johnson is the man.

by Nonpartisan on Jun 29, 2012 4:50 AM MST reply actions 2 recs

Again with the standings!

Person Points
blank_38 22
kishi 18
Bryn21 18
luckycc 16
SenSurround 9
soco 9
piratedan7 9
Nonpartisan 9
jjwaltrip 6
aclaritymaven 6
Fangdango 6
imstillhungry95 5
Diamondhacks 4
hotclaws 4
Jim McLennan 3
Rockkstarr12 3
Zavada's Moustache 3
BulldogsNotZags 1
PR151 1

So this is the last PYW of the first half of the season, and there are four contenders for the first half crown and all of the props to my homies that come with it.

Here's your challenge:

Think back on the month of June for the D'Backs. Write a haiku about it. In case you aren't aware, a haiku is a three line form of poetry. The first line consists of five syllables, the second has seven, and the last have five again. Like so:

This is not haiku
The syllables are all wrong
Just kidding, it's right

Keep your responses limited to stuff that actually happened in June, so no Padres series and no weird Italian game in Milwaukee (not that you should be eager to re-live those things).

Entries will be accepted until the end of Wednesday. The top three rec receivers will receive points. You can do this, or you can go see that Katy Perry movie, but I know which will be better for your soul.

Remember: This time it counts.