DBacks 6, Padres 8: OH WHY NOT

Record: 39-42. Pace: 28-84. Change on 2011: -5

Oh, Diamondbacks.

Diamondbacks, Diamondbacks, Diamondbacks. I mean, really, Diamondbacks...

Yeah, I got nothing. We just got swept. At home. By the Padres. And I feel sorry for the poor sap who's gotta recap this debacle of a... Wait. I've got the post editor open.

Now this is not gonna be pretty. We're talking violence, strong language, adult content. Drinking may help. If you're too young to drink in your locale or are pregnant, you might want to skip this recap. Actually, you may want to skip anyway. But give me a second to open this beer and I'll meet you after the jump...

For the record: The AZSnakepit and SBNation do not condone drinking underage or excessive drinking at any point. Even if your local team seems to want to drive you to it.

Well, at least it started off well.

Oh wait, no, it didn't! (Take a drink.) Chris Denorfia started off the game with a lead-off single against Ian Kennedy. Great. Chase Headley came up one out later, and a triple put us right back where we've been all too often for the past handful of days: losing. And losing to the Padres.

But the bottom of the inning brought some hope! A walk from Willie Bloomquist started it off, and Aaron Hill doubled- because does Hillraiser do anything else?- to gives us two runners in scoring position with no outs. Justin Upton grounded out (take a drink) but Jason Kubel did what Jason Kubel does best- make us feel a little bad for questioning his signing by knocking in runs. Kubel took Jason Marquis deep to right for a three run home run, to give us our first lead of the series. Our first lead of any kind, actually, since last Friday. Oh, last Friday. Those crazy, heady days. Do you remember those times? Ah, yes.

Anyway, we had a lead! 3-1! Obviously we've seen enough here, folks, let's wrap it up, grill a few more burgers, and just move on with our holiday. Right?

...you're still here? Ugh. Fine. Take another drink, and let's keep going.

The DBacks had a chance to add on in the second. Ryan Roberts singled to lead off and took second on a sac bunt from Ian Kennedy (productive outs- take a drink) and a Willie Bloomquist single gave us runners at the corners with one out. But Aaron Hill flew out, too shallow to bring in Roberts, and then Justin Upton grounded out to strand the runners. Take another drink.

The Padres started to fight back in the third. With Alexi Amarista on first and two out, things started to go a little poorly for Ian Kennedy. Chase Headley drew a walk, and Yonder Alonso singled to right to bring in a run, cutting the DBacks lead to 3-2. DBacks give up runs with two outs? Take another drink.

It didn't get much better in the fourth inning- maybe even a bit worse. The Padres led off the inning with a single, but Kennedy got a foul out and a fielder's choice, and with Jason Marquis coming to the plate, it looked like Kennedy might strand the runner. Nope. Marquis hit a double to right field, scoring Everth Cabrera, and then getting thrown out as he tried to stretch it into a triple. More runs given up with two outs- take a drink, and we're in a tie game.

So, would the DBacks fight back, with the score tied? Yes! If, by "fight back," you meant "let Jason Marquis strike out the side." That was what you meant, right? I was pretty sure. I think it's a regional dialect. Anyway. Should probably take a drink there.

Both pitchers seemed to be pretty on their game as we hit the seventh, and Ian Kennedy got two pretty quick outs, as Jason Marquis stayed in the game to hit for himself. But, again, with two outs, trouble started. Chris Denorfia singled and stole second, and then Amarista singled to center to bring Denorfia in. Two out run scores, take a drink, and the Padres take a 4-3 lead.

That ended Kennedy's night- 7 innings, 4 earned runs. Gerardo Parra pinch hit for him with one out in the seventh inning, singling and stealing second base. Then a Willie Bloomquist single brought Parra around to score! Tie game again! Hooray! I'm actually surprised to remember we were tied this late in the game. It all seems so dire now that I look back at it, and I'm pretty sure it isn't just the beer. Willie Bloomquist followed Parra's example and swiped second himself, giving us the go-ahead run in scoring position with only one out. But Ks from Hill and Upton (who is not a fan favorite right now) left him stranded there.

David Hernandez took the mound in the top of the eighth and... Well, that's where it started to go bad. It didn't start that way- Jason Kubel made a great play to catch a foul ball just at the wall from Yonder Alonso, and Cameron Maybin struck out next. Okay, two outs, Hernandez has been good, we should be solid, right? ...right?

Problems with two outs, take a drink. Hernandez hit Logan Forsythe with a pitch to put him on, and then Yasmani Grandal came in to pinch hit. As we all sort of pondered how the Padres seem to pick players based solely on the uniqueness of their names, Grandal hit a bomb to deep right. Justin Upton nearly robbed Grandal at the fence, but it wasn't quite enough, the ball bounced off his glove on its trip over the fence. 6-4, Padres.

The DBacks wasted a leadoff walk by Jason Kubel in the bottom of the inning. And then the top of the ninth happened. Oh, boy did it happen.

Bryan Shaw came in for Hernandez, and promptly gave up a double to Denorfia. Amarista put down a sacrifice bunt, but Shaw, for some reason, turned to try to get Denorfia at third and threw it away. Denorfia scores, Amarista takes second. A double from Yonder Alonso brought Amarista to put the lead at 8-4. We were down by four runs. To the Padres. Going into the bottom of the ninth.

Oh, there was an effort at a rally. Ryan Roberts lead off with a single, and then Stephen Drew brought him in with a double. Drew took third on a sac fly from Willie Bloomquist and scored on a ground out from Aaron Hill, but a Justin Upton pop-up ended it. A 8-6 loss. And being swept. By San Diego. Ugh.

Where did it go wrong? So many ways. Too many runs given up with two outs. Too many runners stranded in scoring position. Hernandez's control falling apart in the eighth. And Justin Upton going 0 for 5 in the game just didn't win him any love with the fans. He was interviewed after the game- I think that kid is trying, but it's just a very public venue for him to struggle in, and I'm not sure the booing helps.

Not a very busy thread, just passing 400 comments. Clefo led the tally, with soco and luckycc right behind. We also saw Marc Fournier, Augdogs, 4 Corners Fan, Zavada's Moustache, AzDbackfanInDc, piratedan7, KDbacks, kishi, hotclaws, BattleMoses, Muu, DbackCardsFan, Jim McLennan, egboyz, CaptainCanuck, Gibbysdad, MEP12, JoeCB1991, xmet, Majabe, and Husk stop by. Only one comment turned green, as though some mysterious force had rallied commenters to rec it enough to let it be selected as Comment of the Night:

So

there are helicopters circling my general area.

They’re looking for fundementals

Founder of the 'Foundation for the Advancement of Clefoing' a 501C3.
Owes Ian Kennedy a T-Shirt.

by Clefo

But who would do something like that?

So, ladies and gentlemen, we have been swept by the Padres. If you haven't finished your drink yet, feel free to do so through the rest of this paragraph as we ponder that sweep. I mean, the Padres. The last time their offense was much good, we didn't have a Democrat as president. We might have had a Whig. So what do we do?

We break the streak.

What's it going to take, Snakepitters? Anything and everything that might work. I say we throw it all down next Gameday Thread. Release the ponies, suit up for Daron Sutton, conjure whatever positive thoughts and good luck charms you might have, and see if we can't shake something loose here. I mean, it can't hurt, right?