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Last week, we were supposed to come up with weird/funny headlines for post-trade deadline D'Backs. Let's go to it, shall we?
"MIKE ZAGURSKI TRADED FOR BOX OF DONUTS"
"He’s disappointed he won’t get any. News at 10"
R.I.P. Ray Bradbury August 22, 1920 - June 5, 2012
by imstillhungry95 on Jul 18, 2012 12:13 PM MST reply actions 5 recs
kishi:
Kevin Towers Deadline Shocker: "Maybe veterans are a little overrated"
Even if you're right, that would be one plus one plus two plus one, not "one plus two plus one plus one."
by kishi on Jul 18, 2012 12:03 PM MST reply actions 3 recs
"Even after a month, Suns fans still feeling jilted by Steve Nash"
"Also, Justin Upton was traded, or something"
"How much money can we offer Brandon Lyon without making him suspicious?"
by SenSurround on Jul 18, 2012 2:11 PM MST reply actions 3 recs
"Sutton is back,sex change successful"
"Grace has to be restrained in booth"
♯♩♪ Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way ♫♬♭♮
by hotclaws on Jul 18, 2012 3:22 PM MST reply actions 2 recs
Trevor Bauer traded for Adam LaRoche
with the hopes that this time, hotclaws and 4CornersFan will warm to him. "C’mon girls, give the guy a chance!", says Kevin Towers.
Life's a dance you learn as you go.
by 4 Corners Fan on Jul 18, 2012 4:52 PM MST reply actions 2 recs
Towers Trades Relievers for Upton.
"In a shocking move that represents the exact opposite of what much of the fanbase wanted, Towers made a move for BJ Upton, giving up LHP Mike Zagurski and RHP Jonathan Albaladejo in the process. AZCentral released an official statement simply saying, ‘NO THIS ISN’T WAT WE WANTED @ ALL SHOULD OF TRADED THE OTHER UPTON (sic throughout)’"
"When asked to comment, Towers was quoted as saying, "Haters gon’ hate." before blasting ‘How You Like Me Now’ by The Heavy, lighting a cigar and riding a unicorn into the sunset."
Free Daron Sutton.
by Zavada's Moustache on Jul 18, 2012 5:59 PM MST reply actions 2 recs
| Person | Points |
| kishi | 27 |
| blank_38 | 22 |
| Bryn21 | 18 |
| luckycc | 16 |
| SenSurround | 12 |
| imstillhungry95 | 11 |
| soco | 9 |
| piratedan7 | 9 |
| Nonpartisan | 9 |
| Zavada's Moustache | 7 |
| jjwaltrip | 6 |
| aclaritymaven | 6 |
| Fangdango | 6 |
| hotclaws | 5 |
| Diamondhacks | 4 |
| Jim McLennan | 3 |
| Rockkstarr12 | 3 |
| BulldogsNotZags | 1 |
| PR151 | 1 |
| jinnah | 1 |
| since98 | 1 |
| 4 Corners Fan | 1 |
Justin Upton
Use those five players (but feel free to include other players as tertiary characters in your write-ups). And if you ask: "WHY DIDN'T U INCLUDE (insert random player here) U HATER!" my response is: I don't care.