It has been reported by both credible and not-so-credible-that-I-will-not-dignify-with-a-link sources that D'Backs TV broadcaster Daron Sutton has been suspended for an undetermined length of time. What may have caused this? With so little in the way of facts known by the public, rampant speculation has taken to the various corner of the intertrons. Things like twitter can cause this speculation to spin out of control in hilarious ways.
Thanks to the hashtag feature of twitter, the genesis of such things can be easily traced
@SongBird3411 @Bryn90 @elvenjen HE WAS HOARDING LUCHA LIBRE MASKS FOR SALE ON EBAY #Dbacks #DaronSuttonTheories
— Phil Lacovara (@placovara) June 27, 2012
And so it begins. What follows is a compilation of a very wild couple of hours of some of the greatest hits of the #DaronSuttonTheories hashtag. Of course, the "greatest hits" are the ones I think are in my capricious judgement. Check out the hashtag itself to see more than what is posted here. Those are after the jump.
(Note: This is all in good fun, and we hope that whatever issues exist are resolved and that we see Daron back in the TV booth soon!)
#DaronSuttonTheories ↑ ↑ ↓ ↓ ← → ← → B A Select
— Steven (@gooddaychum) June 27, 2012
He accidentally used industrial paint when he was cosplaying as the Hulk. #DaronSuttonTheories
— jenna b. (@jinnah) June 27, 2012
He shot the sheriff...and the deputy, too! #DaronSuttonTheories
— Goldschmidt's Homers (@GoldyHRBalls) June 27, 2012
He stopped #DaronSuttonTheories from trending by doubling as Yu Darvish
— Lance Ghidotti (@Mr_259) June 27, 2012
He asked Derek Hall if Marcellus Wallace looked like a bitch. #DaronSuttonTheories
— Niiko Kane (@BattleMoses) June 27, 2012
He got Zerg rushed #DaronSuttonTheories
— Wimby (@Wimby) June 27, 2012
He named players after household appliances #DaronSuttonTheories #microwave
— JJ Putz Soul Patch (@JJsSoulPatch) June 27, 2012
He thought that they were angels, but much to his surprise, he climbed aboard a star ship, and headed for the skies. #DaronSuttonTheories
— Brynndyn Ratledge (@Bryn90) June 27, 2012
He broke into Steve Nash's house to replace his light bulbs. #DaronSuttonTheories
— Phil Lacovara (@placovara) June 27, 2012
@AZSnakepit . D) The New York Mets #daronsuttontheories
— Enrique O. Fierro(@EO_35) June 27, 2012
Daron started quoting the Room and it WAS TEARING HIM APART! #DaronSuttonTheories
— Elizabeth (@cinderbella) June 27, 2012
He scored the fight in favor of Bradley #DaronSuttonTheories
— Tomas Coolidge (@ChosenWun23) June 27, 2012
He got stuck in limbo. #DaronSuttonTheories #BRAAAAAAHM
— Charlene Curiale (@curryalley) June 27, 2012
#DaronSuttonTheories he's got 99 problems but the booth ain't one
— Billy Romero (@gatoloco34) June 27, 2012
#DaronSuttonTheories He discontinued wearing pants in the booth and was suspended for insubordination for lack of a dress code.#dbacks
— Andy (@codedandunited) June 27, 2012
Attended AZL game, got into fight w/ Dodger farmhand Ryan Garvey #DaronSuttonTheories #DarronSuttonTheories
— David Young (@DavidYoungTBLA) June 27, 2012
He realized BNL has two Billboard awards to his zero.#DaronSuttonTheories
— Devin Jessup (@kennokishi) June 27, 2012
Bought the lemonade and claimed it didn't taste like the stuff his grandma made#DaronSuttonTheories
— Bobby Robson (@BobbyRobson0) June 27, 2012
He asked Bryce Harper a clown question, bro #DaronSuttonTheories
— Charlie Gebow (@CLEFOAINTACRIME) June 27, 2012
He is the most interesting man in baseball #DaronSuttonTheories
— Jennifer Hutchison (@JenniferHu) June 27, 2012
@AZSnakepithe finally confessed about being the creator of the wave#DaronSuttonTheories
— BrookS not Brooke. (@funbrooksie) June 27, 2012
He discovered his name actually WAS a typo after all, and erased himself changing his birth certificate. #DaronSuttonTheories
— Jim McLennan (@AZSnakepit) June 27, 2012
he argued about gender projection and animals on twitter #DaronSuttonTheories
— soco (@socosoco) June 27, 2012
Folks close to the team seemed to think this was amusing as well:
@hlandphx @azsnakepit @gooddaychum good stuff - not the hairdo that is!!!
— Derrick Hall (@DHallDbacks) June 27, 2012
Trust me when I say there is a lot more where that came from. I instituted a "One example of a tweet per person" rule for this post.
What are some of YOUR theories?