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Pit Your Wits Week 8: No, May Is The Cruelest Month, Shut Your Pie Hole Elliot


This is Pit Your Wits. I was going to randomly declare this challenge "DECIDE WHICH SONG BY 'THE WHO' WAS THE BEST!"*, but I decided that any answer other than "Love Reign O'er Me" would not be counted, so I trashed that. Instead, I decided to go to an old standby of "recap the month in some way". Before that, results.

*no I wasn't

If you recall (don't know why you would), last week's challenge was to come up with the hypothetical of what three items you would bring in the coming Apocalypse for the D'Backs. Some of you would struggle with the express lane at the Safeway, but here are your winners:


Gold goes to luckycc with 5 recs for this:

The diagrams to Justin Verlander’s bionic arm (many Bothans died to bring us this imformation) so that Breslow can begin production and installation on JJ Putz immediately.

Friendship bracelets for Young and Upton so that Upton knows he’s liked and can feel free to hit homeruns even when Young isn’t around.

Hot dogs in gluten-free buns because it’s a long season and I’ll need a snack.

Sad Buster Posey says, "NOOOOO!"

by luckycc on May 24, 2012 2:42 PM MST reply actions 5 recs


Silver is shared between blank_38 and kishi with 4 recs. They were tied at the top of the board before this, and now still are. INTRIGUE! blank_38's entry:

Some bottle caps, a plasma rifle, and a couple of stimpacks

My bunny is fat
He likes to eat cabbages
No wonder he's fat.

by blank_38 on May 24, 2012 2:20 PM MST reply actions 4 recs


Truncheon of the Bullpen – a potentially powerful artifact, this weapon was crafted from the shattered remains of what was once an intimidating pitching staff. Prone to bursting into flames, but it’s anyone’s guess whether it’ll burn you or your enemies.

Diamondbacks Offense- Another lost talisman of Chase Field. Disappeared ages ago, but legend has that it is not dead, it merely sleeps until it can be called forth at the time of our greatest need.

Kirk Gibson’s Mustache – +10 on Intimidation and Knowledge (Old School) checks.

"Anytime you can sign an oft-injured guy to fill a hole that wasn't there YOU MAKE THAT DEAL."

by kishi on May 24, 2012 5:23 PM MST reply actions 4 recs


Bronze goes to imstillhungry95 for this:

My three items

Pitching for Dummies by Trevor Bauer (For the Bullpen), the phone number to Albert Pujols bionics dealer (for Young and Drew), and a six pack of Dos Equis, because the world doesn’t always come to an end, but when it does, I prefer Dos Equis


by imstillhungry95 on May 24, 2012 3:57 PM MST reply actions 3 recs

Here are some standings, gaze on them and despair:

Person Points
kishi 18
blank_38 18
Bryn21 12
luckycc 10
SenSurround 9
soco 6
jjwaltrip 6
imstillhungry95 5
Jim McLennan 3
Rockkstarr12 3
Diamondhacks 1
Nonpartisan 1
hotclaws 1

Alright, this week you are to do this:

"May has come and gone. Write a two line rhyming couplet about the goings-ons of the Arizona Diamondbacks in May. Rec the ones you like etc. etc. (If you don't know how the scoring works by now, I have some pyramid schemes I want to tell you about.)

Do things!