Another week in the books, and an ugly one it was for the teams that faced off in last season's championship, both going down to heavy defeats. There's a tie at the top of the table, between two veteran franchises hoping to make their biggest splash in the league.
AZ SnakePit 1, Blonde Streaks 9
Mizzoula Osprey 2, Alabama Slammers 8
Sofa King Juiced 5, MyWieterGetzLongoria 3
The Fighting Amish 7, Waffles 2
Los Wailoracles 5, Ignatius J. Rallies 5
soco knows 2, Lil Bitches 8
Phoenix Platypi 8, CompleteGameShutout 2
AZ SnakePit 1, Blonde Streaks 9
Blonde were solid all round, behind Kemp's three HR, Jeter;s seven Runs, Romero's two Wins and Valverde's three saves, allowing them to come close to a shutout. They also got a W + 11 strikeouts from Lohse. Snake's only success was in RBI, where Swisher drove in nine.
Mizzoula Osprey 2, Alabama Slammers 8
Slammers' offense was powered by hitter of the week Napoli (five home-runs and 10 RBI(, backed by Teixeira's three HR, nine RBI week. Shields won two for them, while Osprey got 15 K's out of Gallardo, and the teams combined for 126 strikeouts. Longoria had nine RBI for Missoula.
Sofa King Juiced 5, MyWieterGetzLongoria 3
Wieter got four HR from Granderson, but it wasn't enough to withstand a pitching barrage, Sofa piling up an amazing 85 strikeouts, no single player having more than 11 (Worley and Haren reaching that, Kennedy adding 10). Luebke won twice fo them, as Weaver did for Sofa.
The Fighting Amish 7, Waffles 2
Amish swept the hitting categories, behind Hamilton's three HR and 11 RBI - Waffles had as many home-runs combined. Doumit drove in eight for Amish. On the mound, Cueto had a W + 12 K, and Rodriguez three Saves. Waffles got a W + 8 K's from Gonzalez and two HR by Davis.
Los Wailoracles 5, Ignatius J. Rallies 5
Nothing could separate these two, with Los edging things at the plate, but Ignatiius reversing things on the mound. Freeman drove in 14 with three HR to power Wailocracies, with Halladay getting a W + 11 K. For the Rallies, Jennings scored seven and Betancourt picked up three Saves.
soco knows 2, Lil Bitches 8
Lil pitched their socks off, with a minuscule ERA of just 0.89. Kershaw, Cain and Beachy all had zero ERA starts and Papelbon saved three. They took all five pitching points as a result: hitting was more balanced, Wieters' three HR and eight RBI helping soco, but Cruz scored seven for Lil.
Phoenix Platypi 8, CompleteGameShutout 2
Pitcher of the Week Verlander gave the Platypi two Wins and 17 K's; they also had Humber's perfect game and four saves from Perez and three by Johnson. Unsurprisingly, they swept pitching. Morneau had three HR for Complete, but Bourn (seven RBI, five SB) eased Phoenix to the win.
Standings
| Rank | Team | W-L-T | Pct | GB | Last | Waiver | Moves | |
| 1. | Blonde Streaks | 20-6-4 | .733 | - | 9-1-0 | 12 | 3 | |
| 2. | Lil Bitches | 21-7-2 | .733 | - | 8-2-0 | 2 | 2 | |
| 3. | Sofa King Juiced | 19-9-2 | .667 | 2 | 5-3-2 | 10 | 5 | |
| 4. | Alabama Slammers | 17-9-4 | .633 | 3 | 8-2-0 | 9 | 2 | |
| 5. | Phoenix Platypi | 16-11-3 | .583 | 4.5 | 8-2-0 | 13 | 6 | |
| 6. | The Fighting Amish | 14-13-3 | .517 | 6.5 | 7-2-1 | 6 | 6 | |
| 7. | Ignatius J. Rallies | 15-14-1 | .517 | 6.5 | 5-5-0 | 14 | 6 | |
| 8. | Mizzoula Osprey | 14-14-2 | .500 | 7 | 2-8-0 | 3 | 4 | |
| 9. | soco knows | 13-16-1 | .450 | 8.5 | 2-8-0 | 1 | 2 | |
| 10. | MyWieterGetzLongoria | 10-15-5 | .417 | 9.5 | 3-5-2 | 8 | 4 | |
| 11. | Los Wailoracles | 9-18-3 | .350 | 11.5 | 5-5-0 | 4 | 3 | |
| 12. | Waffles | 8-18-4 | .333 | 12 | 2-7-1 | 7 | 5 | |
| 13. | AZ SnakePit | 8-18-4 | .333 | 12 | 1-9-0 | 11 | 1 | |
| 14. | CompleteGameShutout | 7-23-0 | .233 | 15 | 2-8-0 | 5 | 6 |
Week 4 Games
AZ SnakePit vs. Sofa King Juiced
Mizzoula Osprey vs. Blonde Streaks
Alabama Slammers vs. CompleteGameShutout
The Fighting Amish vs. MyWieterGetzLongoria
Los Wailoracles vs. Waffles
soco knows vs. Ignatius J. Rallies
Phoenix Platypi vs. Lil Bitches
Phoenix vs. Lil is the ESPN game of the week, pitting two of the top five teams against each other. Platypi will lean heavily on Justin Verlander, who has been one of the most valuable players in the league thus far, Michael Bourn will lead their offense. Lil are undefeated in Saves and Average thus far, their 13 in the former category tied for the league lead...with the Platypi.