It has been a few years since the SnakePit documentation has been updated, and if you look at the 1.0.1, then you can see much has changed. Gone are the Hernandez and the Gonzalez confusions, and although many of the players are the same, even the constants have done things to warrant new terms.
It's not all fun and games, though, so a bit of housecleaning is in order. After attempting to cull through 4 years of SnakePit experience to write down what was previously only oral law, I can now say I empathize with my ancestors a little more when they attempted to compile the Talmud.
To some, the rules after the jump will seem heavy handed, or mean-spirited, or a nanny-state, or infringing on their unqiue-snowflakeness. Well, sorry.
Every member is expected to have read and understood the following rules. Failure to follow these rules renders you subject to the moderators’ whims. Minor infractions will be dealt first with a warning, and then hiding or deletion of comments, major and continued infractions will result in a temporary ban, major and continued infractions beyond this are subject to a permanent ban. The severity of your stupidity can move you up on the punishment schedule by the discretion of the mod having to clean up after you.
Jim is King, we are merely his servants. If he tells you to stop doing something, then stop. Don't like it? Tough tacos said the gato.
1 picture per poster per thread.
No hotlinking. Any picture must be hosted on a site like Photobucket, or one of your choosing.
Don't discuss illegal game feeds, MLB merchandise, or anything else that might negatively affect Jim's relationship to SBNation, or SBNation to MLB.
Do not cut/paste entire articles, especially ones behind pay-walls. As they, ‘content is king,’ and SBNation could be liable for copyright violation. This, like the above game feed rule, is non-negotiable.
Signatures must be less than 4 lines, no exceptions.
Don’t use any language you wouldn’t use in front of your (or a friend’s) mother. Demeaning language and terms are absolutely not allowed. If you need to ask if a term is allowed, it probably isn’t.
No nudity, shock images, Not Safe For Work (NSFW) images of any kind. If you really feel it adds to the discussion, then link it with the tag (NSFW).
Respect the right margin.
No false posts about activity on the field during a game. It might shock you, but some people actually use the Game Day Threads as a way to follow a game and get a more accurate, timely depiction of the game.
At a continuation of the margin thought: the Snakepit is a baseball site first and foremost. Off-topic conversation is often tolerated and encouraged, but it should be balanced with discussion of baseball. As a result, all threads except those designated Open, Game Day, or SnakeBytes, are considered on-topic.
Don't unnecessarily flame, insult, or start trouble with other members. Do not mistake sarcasm as flaming, but if you are uncertain then flag something and let the mods decide.
If you have thin skin, then we're sorry but this might be a tough place for you. We believe in a tough love of razzing and sarcasm, so please don't take this as you being picked on. If you do feel it is unwarranted or unfair, email a mod.
No trolling. Trolling, by common Internet law, is being as annoying as possible without actually breaking any rules.
Fans of opposing teams are not only tolerated but welcomed. This comes with a caveat, however: this is Jim's, and by extension the Diamondbacks' fanbase's, house. It's perfectly fine to talk about your favorite team on occasion, but this is a Diamondbacks blog first. If you find yourself here talking more about your team than the Diamondbacks, then you are doing it wrong. Coming to bait or flame us, especially after a loss, is asking for trouble. If your first post here is baiting or flaming the Diamondbacks or our fanbase, then you are asking for trouble. Don't come whining to us, or to your home team blog if you are not tolerated or treated well any longer. We will not feel any pity for your stupidity.
Likewise, "raids" of other blogs or sites will not be tolerated. Yes, some other sites having annoying people, and yes it is fun to make jokes about them in the comfort of our own home, but you are on your own if you go to their home. Do not do anything that will reflect poorly on AZ SnakePit or Jim.
NO pictures or references to eels. No, you cannot break this rule to explain it. NO EELS. EELS ARE BACK BABY YEEEEEAH 09/06/2013
No "Alts" or alternate accounts. If you have a perfectly working account, use that. If you've been banned, well, maybe you should ask yourself why you were banned.
Any issue should be brought up to a mod or Jim, who can then decide what, if anything, should be done. All of us have email addresses connected to our profiles, and any issue will be considered confidential amongst the relevant parties and the moderation staff.
St. Penelope: the original patron saint of the SnakePit, Penelope Cruz's image has protected us through thick and thin. Only invoke her name under the most distressing situations.
SnakePit-fest: started in 2007 by suggestion of soco, it was originally 3 people. soco was supposed to be there but he bailed like a jerk. The subsequent events have been more organized and better attended, to the point of warranting 2 Fests for 2010. Has also inspired similar meet-ups like "soco-fest," "Spring-Fest," and other baseball related things like vintage baseball and Arizona Fall League games.
The Uecker Line: this is our PC-approved version of the Mendoza line, after npineda complained, tongue-in-cheek, about the racial nature of the label in the April 10th, 2007 recap. It's actually more accurate, since Mario Mendoza's career average was actually .215, while Bob Uecker batted exactly .200 during his time in the majors. Uecker is, however, somewhat harder to spell, and is also generally worth less at Scrabble.
Fatburger (noun): a reference to an absolute bomb of a home run Mark Reynolds hit at the beginning of 2009 (?) that went to the Fatburger restaurant at Chase Field. Any massive home run is a Fatburger.
Littlest Ballplayer: Augie Ojeda, a diminutive player who has been with the D'backs since 2007 and plays every position including the bass trombone. Traditional to chant "Augie Augie Augie, Oi Oi Oi," when he's at bat or does something well, and no, it isn't a Nazi reference.
DROOOOOOOOOOOOO: commonly mistaken to be booing, it is in fact called out for Stephen Drew. When he airmails a throw to first into the dugout, though, is when we're actually booing.
Two Hands: refers to Justin Upton's unfortunate tendency to forget the fundamentals that even Little Leaguers follow.
DFA [fill in the blank]: Literally means "designated for assignment," which is the first step in releasing someone from the team. Generally used playfully after a player (or poster) does something stupid or wrong.
Rec: Below every comment and post is a button that says "rec" (after pressing "actions"). Rec stands for recommendation, and should be used whenever you find a story or comment that is particularly good. What is good for you is different for other people, so rec what you want. It's there for you to use. When a "non-Front Page" FanPost or FanShot is rec'd a few times, it will be promoted to the Front Page automatically, which makes it easier for people to find what the community likes the most.
Flag: Below every comment is a button that says "flag" (after pressing "actions"). Flagging is a way to alert moderators of offensive or inappropriate content. The Flag is not visible to anyone but mods, so don't fear that everyone will see it and mock you. If you feel that the instance is more urgent or sensitive, then email a mod or Jim directly, preferably with a description of what to look for.
FanPost: Longer entries that have a minimum word count. If you can't meet the rather low word count, then perhaps you should make your post a FanShot (see below). FanPosts can be a variety of things, like posting a link and providing analysis or commentary. It might be a description of going to a game. The main key for FanPosts is length.
FanShot: Shorter entries that are meant more to feature a link, picture, quote, or video without analysis or commentary.
Up: Under every post is the ability to "zoom" upwards to the start of a comment chain. So if you find yourself in the middle or end of a long comment chain and want to find who responded to what, you can press "up," which will jump you to what the comment was replying to.
Reply: I can't believe this needs to be explained, but if you want to reply directly to a comment then you press "reply" under the comment you want to reply to. A new comment field will appear for you to fill out. Use the comment field at the bottom of a page only to start a new comment chain.
Comment field/box: The box that appears when you press reply, and at the bottom of the page. This is where you input your comments. You have three options: Preview, Post, and Cancel. Preview allows you view your comment without actually posting it, which is useful if you're adding formating, HTML, or pictures. Post, well, posts your comment. Cancel allows you delete your comment before posting, so no one ever sees it.