SnakeBytes, 6/29: Oh Come On Edition

What do you even say about a game like last night?  I mean, I have a few ideas of what to say, but nothing I'd want to write where my mom would read it.  Ugh.  Well, at least I don't have to read a bunch of recaps in order to put together a post of Diamondbacks ne-  Oh.

Well, might as well get on with it.

Recaps:

• [yahoo.com] La Russa's Jedi mind tricks get best of Haren, D-backs - "Tony's good at delaying like that," Haren said. "I've seen it before and I knew exactly what he was doing. He'll probably do it again because it looks like it works." I've always wondered why, if you get tossed from the game, some umpires let you stand there. If you're gone, you should be off the field and out of the dugout immediately.

• [stltoday.com] Arizona lends a hand in Cards' victory - The Cardinals needed some help to get their offense going.  Hey, a task that's perfect for the Diamondbacks!

• [AP] Cardinals' 3-run ninth beats Arizona 6-5 -The summary doesn't sound nearly as painful as we know it actually was.

• [azcentral.com] Arizona Diamondbacks' blunders costly in loss to St. Louis Cardinals - "All around, in the ninth, a lot of things failed us."  Yeah, that about sums it up, AJ.

More stories, hopefully some less painful, after the jump.

• [azcentral.com] Diamondbacks pitchers Edwin Jackson, Ian Kennedy have starts pushed back - With Jackson's 149 pitch start and Kennedy on pace for a personal high in season IP, both are going to have their next starts moved back.

• [blogspot.com] Diamond(backs) in the rough: Brandon Allen - Zephon gives us a look at Brandon Allen and the strong numbers he's put together for the month of June in Reno.

• [azcentral.com] No major changes coming with Reynolds’ swing; Enright gets the call - Despite previous talk about the changes in Reynolds swing, Nick Piecoro says we won't see anything too dramatic.  Also, a look at Barry Enright, who will be called up from Mobile to make a start.  Apparently, he's known for his bat, too.

• [usatoday.com] Jason Berken? Kelly Johnson? Jeff Keppinger? Yes, even bad teams get to have an All-Star - I'd like to take this moment to say: shut up, USA Today. Don't you have to go oversimplify some topic into a colorful chart?  Yeah, every team gets a player.  That's how it's been for years, don't act like just because a team is bad doesn't mean there isn't someone on the roster that deserve a look.

• [FoxSportsArizona] Some signs of progress, but lots of work to be done - "With just a couple of games to go for us, in St. Louis, who has been the best and worst players for the Diamondbacks in June?" Who IS this guy?  They'll just let anyone write on the internet nowadays...

• [ MLBTradeRumors.com] Super Two Cutoff Less Than Expected - This will directly affect the Diamondbacks, as Tony Abreu has enough service time to qualify as a super two.

Around the League:

• [ajc.com] Tigers reliever Zumaya lost for season to injury - Joel Zumaya spent the past two seasons dealing with shoulder injuries, and had recovered well this year, but now an elbow injury means he's done for the year.  A bad break for a guy who throws one of the fastest fastballs in the majors.

• [mvpgotham.com] Upton, Longoria Get Into Dugout Brawl Over Hairstyle - Lack of hustle on the field? No, we now know the real reason Upton and Longoria got into their dugout argument on Sunday. "None of this would have happened if we had grown fu manchu's."

• [reuters.com] Are lefty pitchers more injury-prone? - A new study finds that left-handed pitchers may be more prone to fractures of the humerus bone. Our bullpen sighs in relief, and promptly coughs up a lead. (In the director's cut on this SnakeBytes, I go with the CSI/David Caruso joke here.)

• [mysanantonio.com] Puffy Taco loses rematch - 18 years ago, a mascot accidentally won a race against a child.  Finally, the kid gets revenge.  Mark Grace applauds.  (There's a video- the actual race starts at 50 seconds in, but I think it's worth it for the final shot.)

• [mlb.com] Moyer still proves doubters wrong - I think Moyer is going to keep pitching until Sean Connery kills him in a swordfight on the pitcher's mound at Citizens Bank Park.

Your Daily Strasburg:

• [sportingnews.com] The Strasburg Effect - "I was thinking that he might pitch for 15 years and never lose a game. I say that jokingly and seriously." I think this pretty much sums up why Your Daily Strasburg exists.

Another game tonight.  Let's see how much enthusiasm we can muster.  Go Dbacks.