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Gameday Thread, #34: 5/11 vs. Dodgers

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John Ely
RHP, 0-1, 4.26

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Dan Haren
RHP, 4-1, 4.04

The most important thing to remember tonight is that tonight's text poll on the Fox Sports Arizona broadcast will determine who gets dunked into the Chase Field pool after the post-game show. The options are Mark Grace, Todd Walsh Jody Jackson and Joe Borowski. I imagine Daron Sutton must have won the Immunity Challenge or something. While there is something to be said for just about all those contenders, I will be going for Option E: "The entire bullpen, unconscious, in a heavily-weighted burlap bag."

Line-up and stuff after the jump

  1. Kelly Johnson 2B
  2. Conor Jackson LF
  3. Justin Upton RF
  4. Adam LaRoche 1B
  5. Mark Reynolds 3B
  6. Stephen Drew SS
  7. Chris Young CF
  8. Chris Snyder C
  9. Dan Haren RHP

The natives are getting restless. There may not quite be a mob storming the gates of Chase Field as yet, but sales of pointy implements and lighter-fluid have seen a sharp uptick this week in the Greater Phoenix metropolitan area, and I don't think we're talking for barbecue [at least, in the traditional sense; much though the idea of grilled Baxter on a stick obviously appeals]. It is up to Dan Haren - and, likely just as much, the offense - to talk us down, before the current milling around in vague discontent, becomes something more focused, with people yelling "To the castle!"

As luck would have it, the Diamondbacks get to see a pitcher none of them have ever faced before, making his third appearance in the majors. This is an area where we haven't done too well - of the last eight starters to face Arizona in their first three games, going back to June 2006, five of them got the W, and they posted a collective ERA of 3.27. [In contrast, our last eight n00bs managed one W and a 5.98 ERA] Unfamiliarity breeds content, it would seem, at least for the opposition. The way the offense has been of late, they will likely make John look ree-ely good... Sorry, couldn't resist.

Still, we have Dan Haren to rely on, who is not only our ace, but has the best OPS+ of anyone on the club, at 166. If anyone can save us...It'll be my last recap for a bit, with Azreous and 'charmer scheduled for coverage around Thursday's off-day. Can't say I'm too sorry, as the last three games have been much more a chore than a pleasure; the temptation to turn off the coverage and phone the recap in, with liberal use of copy and paste from the AP wire, has been enormous. We'll see if I can resist tonight.