AZ SnakePit 7, Desert Dingleberries 3
Blonde Streaks 10, Moving on Uptons 0
GregSchulteOverdrive 4, Kapsaicin Kids 5
Balco's Boys 8, Confederate Generals 2
Captain Douchebag 3, Shoryukens! 6
Arizona Muugens 3, The Fighting Amish 7
Wimboes Barmy Army 3, warlords 7
7-2 Offsuiters 3, Baked 7
Details, etc. after the usual jump.
Week 14 Results
AZ SnakePit 7, Desert Dingleberries 3
Snakepit used pitching to get the win, Verlander (two wins, 19 K) and Washburn (two wins, 0.56 ERA) their stars on the mound. Things were more even at the plate: Cabrera and Branyan each homered twice for Desert, but seven runs for Ramirez sealed victory for SnakePit.
Blonde Streaks 10, Moving on Uptons 0
After waiting twelve weeks for the first shutout, it was only two more for the second. Blonde crushed the Uptons, taking all ten points - Wins was the closest, 4-3. Blonde got two victories from Beckett, two saves from Rodney, and multi-homer weeks from Lopez and Hudson.
GregSchulteOverdrive 4, Kapsaicin Kids 5
Kids took WHIP by 0.05, and with it overall victory, so I guess they should thank Weaver, who had two wins, 18 K's and a 1.08 WHIP on the week. On offense, Konerko had three homers and drove in ten for them. Greg countered with eight RBI for Scott and seven from Howard.
Balco's Boys 8, Confederate Generals 2
Balco's swept hitting, piling up 11 HR, 16 SB and a .304 average. Sandoval (three HR, 11 RBI) and Bourn (10 R, five SB) were their top performers. Things were more even on the mound - Lilly's eight IP, one-run win helped Balco's, but the Generals got four saves from Soriano.
Captain Douchebag 3, Shoryukens! 6
Douchebag are now the whipping boys, this the sixth time in seven weeks they've scored three or less. They got a W and 12 K's from Lackey, but Shoryu got three saves apiece from Aardsma and Street, backed by an eight Run, seven RBI week from Victorino, and cruised to the win.
Arizona Muugens 3, The Fighting Amish 7
Amish took the televised game, and are now just two points behind leaders 7-2. Three homers apiece from A-Rod and Troy-Boy drove the offense, though Muugens got a four HR, 11 RBI week from Werth. Amish had an overall 2.56 ERA; Muugens a W and 13 K from Davis.
Wimboes Barmy Army 3, warlords 7
warlords' team WHIP was just 0.90, and no surprise this lead to pitching success, behind the Sanchez no-hitter. They also got three homers and seven RBI out of Phillips. Army picked up saves, thanks to three from Papelbon, but were doomed by hitting only .220 overall.
7-2 Offsuiters 3, Baked 7
Leaders 7-2 went down, though for once it was Baked's offense, not their pitching, that did the damage. Upton homered twice, driving in six, and the team batted .315, pipping 7-2's .308. Kershaw had two Wins and 11 K's for Baked; Soria two Saves for 7-2.
Standings
| Rank | Team | W-L-T | Pct | GB | Last | Waiver | Moves | |
| 1. | 7-2 Offsuiters | 79-51-10 | .600 | - | 3-7-0 | 14 | 13 | |
| 2. | The Fighting Amish | 77-53-10 | .586 | 2 | 7-3-0 | 3 | 18 | |
| 3. | Balco's Boys | 73-56-11 | .561 | 5.5 | 8-2-0 | 12 | 6 | |
| 4. | Arizona Muugens | 73-59-8 | .550 | 7 | 3-7-0 | 6 | 11 | |
| 5. | Shoryukens! | 71-61-8 | .536 | 9 | 6-3-1 | 9 | 24 | |
| 6. | Blonde Streaks | 65-63-12 | .507 | 13 | 10-0-0 | 1 | 6 | |
| 7. | Kapsaicin Kids | 65-67-8 | .493 | 15 | 5-4-1 | 4 | 8 | |
| 8. | Moving on Uptons | 64-67-9 | .489 | 15.5 | 0-10-0 | 8 | 6 | |
| 9. | Confederate Generals | 66-70-4 | .486 | 16 | 2-8-0 | 15 | 28 | |
| 10. | Baked | 63-68-9 | .482 | 16.5 | 7-3-0 | 16 | 20 | |
| 11. | warlords | 61-67-12 | .479 | 17 | 7-3-0 | 13 | 2 | |
| 12. | AZ SnakePit | 59-66-15 | .475 | 17.5 | 7-3-0 | 7 | 8 | |
| 13. | GregSchulteOverdrive | 57-68-15 | .461 | 19.5 | 4-5-1 | 10 | 15 | |
| 14. | Wimboes Barmy Army | 57-72-11 | .446 | 21.5 | 3-7-0 | 2 | 8 | |
| 15. | Desert Dingleberries | 56-76-8 | .429 | 24 | 3-7-0 | 11 | 15 | |
| 16. | Captain Douchebag | 56-78-6 | .421 | 25 | 3-6-1 | 5 | 8 |
Week 15 Games
AZ SnakePit vs. Baked
Blonde Streaks vs. Desert Dingleberries
GregSchulteOverdrive vs. Moving on Uptons
Balco's Boys vs. Kapsaicin Kids
Captain Douchebag vs. Confederate Generals
Arizona Muugens vs. Shoryukens!
Wimboes Barmy Army vs. The Fighting Amish
7-2 Offsuiters vs. warlords
Two teams currently occupying playoff spots fight it out in this week's televised game, Arizona Muugens vs. Shoryukiens! Muugens will have a chance to make amends for the TV loss last week, which saw them drop to fourth, but Shoryu also lost to a team currently in the top three, so will have redemption of their own to handle. With the All-Star game meaning only four or less games for each team, managing the starting pitching line-ups will be crucial. Will Sabathia and Lowe for Shoryu prove better than All-Star starter Halladay and Burnett for Muugens?