Happy memorial day, folks!
AZ SnakePit 3, 7-2 Offsuiters 5
Blonde Streaks 5, Wimboes Barmy Army 3
GregSchulteOverdrive 5, Arizona Muugens 4
Balco's Boys 3, Captain Douchebag 7
warlords 6, Desert Dingleberries 2
The Fighting Amish 5, Moving on Uptons 5
Shoryukens! 6, Kapsaicin Kids 4
Confederate Generals 5, Baked 4
As usual, detailed report, standings, etc. after the jump.
Week 7 Results
AZ SnakePit 3, 7-2 Offsuiters 5
Offsuiters' offense hit .221 for the week, but four home-runs from Ibañez powered them to victory, with two SB by Wells proving crucial. Pitching ended evenly-split, with two W and 10 K for Snakepit's Young. Neither side managed a save.
Blonde Streaks 5, Wimboes Barmy Army 3
Wimboes hammered 13 homers (Uggla had four), but their pitching let them down - no wins, 14 K's and a 7.79 ERA. That allowed Blonde almost to sweep, behind Hamels W + 12 K's, and Votto hitting .500 was also significant. R + SB ended tied
GregSchulteOverdrive 5, Arizona Muugens 4
Greg pipped Muugens in a close contest: Sv finished level, while HR, SB and W were decided by one. Cano's eight R and two HR gave Greg both points; Muugens' Mauer (12 R, 4 HR, 13 RBI) was player of the week. Peavy (Greg) had a W and 10 K.
Balco's Boys 3, Captain Douchebag 7
Captain rode pitching, taking all the points with a team ERA of 2.26 - Hernandez (W, 13 K) and Fuentes (three Sv) were their stars. Balco's had the edge in hitting (Helton had 10 RBI), but it was too much to overcome, despite Wakefield's two W.
warlords 6, Desert Dingleberries 2
warlords also swept the pitching categories, behind a W and 10 K's from Baker, while Tejada's three home-runs stopped any hopes of a Desert comeback. They got six Runs from Cabrera, and made it close, with RBI and BA ending tied.
The Fighting Amish 5, Moving on Uptons 5
No way to split these two, leaders Uptons using a sub-three ERA to come back strong, after hitting went to Amish, for whom A-Rod and Cruz homered four times apiece. Cain and Anderson each had a W for Uptons and provided crucial K's.
Shoryukens! 6, Kapsaicin Kids 4
A W and 3 Sv for Bell stands out in Shoryu's score for the week, but Kids made it close, Konerko homering twice and driving in five. Shoryu countered with three long-balls from Varitek, and a team WHIP of 1.07 proved their pitching was solid.
Confederate Generals 5, Baked 4
Bartlett drove in 13 for the Generals, and they held on, despite Baked rallying in pitching, for whom Volstad had a W and nine strikeouts. Dunn homered three times for Generals, while Upton had seven RBI in a losing cause on Baked's side.
Standings
| Rank | Team | W-L-T | Pct | GB | Last | Waiver | Moves | |
| 1. | Moving on Uptons | 39-26-5 | .593 | - | 5-5-0 | 10 | 5 | |
| 2. | 7-2 Offsuiters | 39-27-4 | .586 | 0.5 | 5-3-2 | 6 | 7 | |
| 3. | Captain Douchebag | 38-30-2 | .557 | 2.5 | 7-3-0 | 5 | 8 | |
| 4. | Arizona Muugens | 35-28-7 | .550 | 3 | 4-5-1 | 8 | 7 | |
| 5. | Confederate Generals | 37-30-3 | .550 | 3 | 5-4-1 | 14 | 19 | |
| 6. | Wimboes Barmy Army | 35-30-5 | .536 | 4 | 3-5-2 | 2 | 8 | |
| 7. | warlords | 35-30-5 | .536 | 4 | 6-2-2 | 7 | - | |
| 8. | Balco's Boys | 34-31-5 | .521 | 5 | 3-7-0 | 15 | 5 | |
| 9. | GregSchulteOverdrive | 32-32-6 | .500 | 6.5 | 5-4-1 | 12 | 5 | |
| 10. | Blonde Streaks | 30-32-8 | .486 | 7.5 | 5-3-2 | 1 | 5 | |
| 11. | The Fighting Amish | 30-35-5 | .464 | 9 | 5-5-0 | 3 | 14 | |
| 12. | Baked | 30-35-5 | .464 | 9 | 4-5-1 | 16 | 8 | |
| 13. | Shoryukens! | 30-39-1 | .436 | 11 | 6-4-0 | 11 | 16 | |
| 14. | AZ SnakePit | 25-35-10 | .429 | 11.5 | 3-5-2 | 9 | 5 | |
| 15. | Kapsaicin Kids | 27-39-4 | .414 | 12.5 | 4-6-0 | 4 | 7 | |
| 16. | Desert Dingleberries | 24-41-5 | .379 | 15 | 2-6-2 | 13 | 9 |
Week 8 Games
AZ SnakePit vs. warlords
Blonde Streaks vs. 7-2 Offsuiters
GregSchulteOverdrive vs. Wimboes Barmy Army
Balco's Boys vs. Arizona Muugens
Captain Douchebag vs. Baked
The Fighting Amish vs. Desert Dingleberries
Shoryukens! vs. Moving on Uptons
Confederate Generals vs. Kapsaicin Kids
Blonde Streaks vs. 7-2 Offsuiters is the MLB Network Game of the Week. Blonde will be hoping Johnny Damon (10 HR) and Joey Votto (.371) continue to produce, while 7-2 are without catcher Iannetta, now on the DL, but still have Ibañez, who had 17 HR and 43 RBI. On the mound, Duke has five Wins, but Soria is also DL-bound. Blonde have a solid rotation, behind reigning Cy Young champion, Tim Lincecum, and Jenks has ten saves.