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"Unicorn vs. Narwhal Play Set There is only room enough on this earth for one majestic horned beast, thus the Unicorn and Narwhal must clash to decide the fate of their species. Two previous battles ended in a tie, with both sides claiming to be the victim of dirty tactics. Now you can settle the score with your very own Unicorn vs. Narwhal Play Set. Each set includes one 5-1/2" long, hard vinyl narwhal, one 3-3/4" tall, hard vinyl unicorn and four magical battle horns."
Shame we don't play the Padres again this season, and I'll no doubt forget about it between now and 2009. But I mean. the unicorn even has a rainbow horn. We've always had a soft spot for narwhals here - how can you not love an animal that looks like an aquatic corkscrew? - but this just solidifies our affection. Go, bottle-opener of the sea! Slay the evil unicorn! Deal with it like the avenging narwhal you are! Yeah, we're pretty much reduced to finding amusement where we can at this point in the season. You don't even want to know the details of the discussion about hummingbird tongues that Mrs. SnakePit and I had in the car this morning.
Meanwhile, the Arizona "Well, technically, we are still in contention" Diamondbacks face the San Francisco Giants, and we'll see if Dan Haren can complete the cycle of good pitching performances, delivered by everyone else in our rotation. Neither starter has covered themselves in glory of late: over their past ten combined outings, Cain and Haren are 1-5 with an ERA of 6.14. Mind you, facing a team who have scored 23 runs in ten games is probably just the cortisone shot in the arm the Giants' starter needs.
We can follow Mark Reynolds in his battle with Howard for most strikeouts in the history of the game (Mark trails by three going into today) - I'm writing up something about that, when I have time, as his comments in today's Republic were... interesting. We should get Drew back tonight after his family loss, and Jackson will be evaluated this afternoon to see if his throwing arm is up to playing the field - he was available to pinch-hit last night. We'll be out for dinner first, but will be back after not too many innings, all being well. My hair gets a further reprieve, since its executioner is suffering from whiplash. Let's hope Dan Haren isn't similarly afflicted, courtesy of balls whizzing off the bats of the Giants hitters.