clock menu more-arrow no yes mobile

Filed under:

Gameday Thread, #56: 5/31 vs. Nationals

If you buy something from an SB Nation link, Vox Media may earn a commission. See our ethics statement.


Jay Bergmann
RHP, 1-1, 4.50


Brandon Webb
RHP, 9-2, 3.01 preview [opens in new window]

I was going to boycott this game today, because of the sorry excuse for an offense that we've been sending out there of late: "Show me why you deserve my support," was going to be the thrust of today's commentary, as I vowed not to witness another pitch of Diamondbacks baseball until they won. But then, I realized that today was a Brandon Webb start, which are always worth watching, and we already have our tickets for Sunday's game - which kinda makes the concept of a boycott this weekend rather silly. "I wish I knew how to quit you," to quote a certain film which, I want to stress, I haven't actually seen. :-) But maintaining the cinematic theme, here is today's text, from the Book of Finch, Chapter 77:

I want you to get up right now, sit up, go to your windows, open them and stick your head out and yell - 'I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Things have got to change. But first, you've gotta get mad! You've got to say, 'I'm as mad as hell, and I'm not going to take this anymore!' Then we'll figure out what to do.

For I've had it, up to here, with men stranded on third, and double-plays, and three-run homers by the weakest slap-hitter on the opposing team. I have had enough pop-ups on the infield, and more than enough swinging wildly at pitches that are a greater threat to aircraft taking off from Sky Harbor, than the strike-zone. I want no booted grounders, wild pickoff throws or mis-played balls to the outfield. This team is better than that, as they showed throughout the entire month of April. It's the last chance to make a statement in May: let that statement be, "Enough, already. With or without Eric Byrnes and his torn hamsters, we are the division champions and, dammit, we will be again."

I will be occupying the living-room, with a large selection of beer, enough chilli-lime pork rinds to securely pack a TV set for transport, and intend to get thoroughly drunk during this one. The comments which result from this end, will thus likely get steadily less incisive, but probably more politically incorrect as the game wears on. Tonight's Gameday Thread is thus rated R for potentially strong language, ferocious alcohol consumption and extreme violence against, we hope, Nationals pitching. Let's go, D-backs!