From the Banana:

"Throw out the first pitch - for a price
D-Backs offering dreams to fans

Some things in life are priceless, but most everything has a price. And if you want to get in on the Diamondbacks' new "Ultimate Baseball Experiences," you might just need a MasterCard. Looking to make some money and provide fans unique opportunities, the Diamondbacks on Wednesday unveiled eight "once in a lifetime" events, including throwing out the ceremonial first pitch for $4,000.

"Hopefully, they get the ball, too," manager Bob Melvin quipped. "All of that stuff is good. Baseball and certain organizations have gone a long way to try to get the fans closer to the action." The Diamondbacks, looking to rebound from a miserable 2004 season that saw the erosion of 17 percent of their season-ticket holders, are looking for creative ways to enhance their bottom line.

The team is following the lead of the Chicago White Sox, which last year implemented some of the same programs and made an additional six figures. Seattle and San Francisco, looking to keep star players and remain competitive, have raised additional money by renting their ballparks for corporate events. The Diamondbacks, who have even led their division briefly this season, already have slashed team payroll to just under $60 million, the lowest since the team's first season in 1998 at $32.8 million.

"We are trying to find other ways to raise revenue," said Rich Dozer, team president. "And we are trying to provide things for fans to do." The team already allows sponsors to throw out the first pitch as part of their agreement with the team, and other celebrities or notables often perform that duty as well.

The new programs could raise up to $200,000 this season, Dozer said. They include having a child sit in the dugout before the game, going on behind-the-scenes tours, being a groundskeeper, taking batting practice and exchanging wedding vows on the field. The cost ranges from $500 to $15,000 per event. The team this season also installed a 13-seat lower-level luxury box that is 57 feet from the catcher and sells for $4,900 a game. Through Wednesday, it had sold for every home game.

Martha Black, baseball fantasy experience coordinator for the White Sox, said the White Sox offers fans, for a price, the opportunity to be on the field during batting practice, drag the infield, eat with radio and TV announcers and take the lineup card to the umpire. She said a portion of the price, which she declined to disclose, was donated to charity. Chicago's programs cost $1,000 or more.

Brian Richeson, director of season-ticket sales who is helping with the program, said the team already is heavily involved with its charity. The Diamondbacks led the Valley's four major sports teams in charitable giving in 2003, the most recent year records are available, by donating $1.2 million.

Fans at Wednesday's game against San Francisco had mixed reactions when hearing about the program. "It's great but expensive," said Takeshi Kubota, who was visiting from Tokyo. Brad Smith of Mesa said the team should offer the programs to loyal fans for free. "If they are that hard up for money, we are in tough shape," Smith said."

Those last two sentences sum up my feelings on this matter very well...