Record: 9-3. Pace: 122-40. Change on last season: +1

Can't win 'em all. And if you're going to lose, you might as well do so in a blowout fashion, with your starter going only three innings, the previously-reliable bullpen coughing up a ten-spot the rest of the way, and the top third of your order going 2-for-13. Add in base baserunning (Upton getting picked off, a move that probably stopped us from getting the tying run to third with one out in the sixth), questionable fielding (not least Upton again) and an inexplicable apparent ignorance of the infield-fly rule by Orlando Hudson: yes, this game contained enough suckitude to make up for the near-flawless play of the last week,

It is, therefore, not a contest upon which I want to dwell. This should be swept rapidly under the carpet, the team moving on to begin another winning streak, starting with Randy Johnson's return against the Giants tomorrow. But duty compels me to review the horrors which unfolded today, starting with Edgar Gonzalez, who felt compelled to pitch permanently from the stretch, allowing the Rockies' leadoff man to reach in every inning. He was gone after three innings in which he faced eighteen batters, yet escaped with allowing three earned runs,

The bullpen which followed were even more forgettable, with the honorable exception of Brandon Medders, who posted a scoreless sixth. All told, the combined line was six innings of work, ten hits, four walks, two hit batters [in addition to the two EdGon plunked, overall tying the franchise record of four, set against LA on July 3rd, 2006] and ten earned runs. Admittedly, it was mostly the B-pen, but Tony Pena was only saved from giving up a grand-slam in the ninth, by the wild-pitch he uncorked immediately beforehand. That was more runs for the relief corps than in the eleven previous games combined, single-handedly raising our bullpen ERA from 2.64 to 5.43, dropping us from first to thirteenth in the NL, over one afternoon.

In the face of such mediocrity, the offense would have been hard pushed to catch up. They did have their moments, getting the tying run on base in the fourth, and to the plate in the sixth, but the absence of Young in the leadoff spot was sorely felt. Eric Byrnes hit there instead, and went 1-for-5, seeing a total of just ten pitches in those five trips to the plate. Down the order, there was good work done by Stephen Drew and Chris Snyder, each having three-hit games and adding a walk and an RBI. Snyder's performance was particularly pleasing to see, since he came into the game with just three hits on the season. Jeff Salazar added two hits and three RBI; Hudson, Reynolds and Upton all reached safely twice, and we did manage 12 hits in total.

One good thing: attendance continues to impress. Obviously, the tenth-anniversary celebrations and some cool giveaways likely helped lure more people to the ballpark. But compared to the equivalent second home series in 2007 [which was also over the weekend against the Rockies], crowds were up more than 30%: 92,309 to 69,844. Now we've got the festivities out of the way, we'll see how things settle down, but it'd be nice to see average crowds around the 30,000 mark as we go through the first-half of the season, then ramp up as we head down the stretch towards the playoffs.

[Click to enlarge, in new window]
Master of his domain: Jeff Salazar, +16.5%
God-emperor of suck: Edgar Gonzalez, -16.3%

TwinnerA, kishi, foulpole, soco, DbacksSkins, hotclaws, DbacksSkins, 4 Corners Fan, paqs [Welcome to the threads!], dstorm, Muu, unnamedDBacksfan, seton hall snake pit, singaporedbacksfan, LucaMaz3, Stile4aly, Turambar, Azreous and snakecharmer were the inhabitants in the Gameday Thread, bravely struggling on, even after the technical pixies stole the voices away from Mr. Sutton and Mr. Grace. Yes, all told, this will definitely be the kind of game that should be put behind us, as rapidly as possible. And what better way to do it, than by going to the consensus worst team in the division, with a five-time Cy Young winner on the mound?

Happy April Fools' Day! i did think about trying to come up with something appropriately hoaxish, but couldn't come with anything that was plausible enough to merit consideration (that ruled out the 'RUSS ORTIZ SIGNS WITH AZ' headline), yet extreme enough to be a good joke: 4 Corners Fan outdid me, in the comments on yesterday's piece. I like the one KTAR pulled this morning, claiming that to help the state meet its budget, tolls were immediately being imposed on valley freeways. "On the Loop 101, drivers will pay $1.01. On the Loop 202, it's $2.02. On State Route 51, it's a real bargain at 51-cents," with exact change required at the on-ramps, where toll-collectors would be stationed. Amazingly, some people swallowed it whole.

There have been some good baseball hoaxes in the past - even the creation myth of the sport itself, which did not involve Abner Doubleday. The best one was in the April 1985 edition of Sports Illustrated, where George Plimpton wrote about incredible rookie baseball player Sidd Finch, who was training with the Mets in Florida, and could pitch at 168 mph with pinpoint accuracy. The sub-heading of the article read: "He’s a pitcher, part yogi and part recluse. Impressively liberated from our opulent life-style, Sidd’s deciding about yoga —and his future in baseball." Take the first letter of each word to find Plimpton's secret message; the full piece can be found here. Amusingly, the teacher who 'played' Finch in the photos for the article still gets recognized as him.

In a similar vein, last April, GQ magazine ran a story on Jake Floyd, the 13-year old GM of the Ash Fork Miners, who play in the Desert Cactus Independent League here in Arizona. I particularly liked the way the writer even fabricated some new-fangled fielding metrics - ISH and OSH for infield and outfield stolen hits - and also gave Floyd a 9-year old intern, who has a shrine to Bill James in his bedroom. It's as much a sardonic comment on the ever-younger wave of general managers in the major-leagues; it was a dark day when I discovered that our GM, Josh Byrnes, at 37, is four years younger than I am. :-( Cross that potential ambition off the list...

Finally, one that no-one seems to know whether it's a hoax or not. Robert Edward Auctions found this artifact in the estate of baseball historian Al Kermisch. To quote another historian of the sport, John Thorn, "Apart from the schoolboy delight in reading this, it is a significant testament to the atmosphere in the single-league era, when professional baseball was losing ground to college football for many reasons, including the atmosphere at the park."

The 1898 document pictured above, entitled "Special Instructions To Players," regarding the use of obscene language by players at the ballpark, to intimidate umpires and opposing players, and to verbally battle with unfriendly fans. Reading this document started out very drab for a sentence or two, but then quickly got our attention as the language used became very unexpected for an official Major League baseball document, let alone one devoted to demanding players not use "any indecent or obscene word, sentence, or expression." It turned "blue," and, well, got "bluer."

Scans of the document can be seen at the link above, though it had perhaps best be viewed with some caution. Maiden aunts should likely stay clear, but fans of Deadwood will likely feel right at home. There are a few phrases in there which I feel deserve to be brought back into popular usage, adding a welcome blast of variety to the usual F-bombs.

Team Marketing will be releasing their annual Fan Cost Survey tomorrow, but have already given the highlights. It starts, "Baseball has never been more popular, or more expensive to watch. On the heels of another record-setting season, the average ticket price has gone up to $25.40, a 10.9 percent increase from last season. Team Marketing Report’s 2008 Major League Baseball Fan Cost Index jumped 8.3 percent to $191.75 this season. Both increases are the highest for MLB since 2001."

Looking into the specifics, there are some jawdropping numbers there: the Red Sox average ticket-price is $48.80 - that's more than three times the cost of the least expensive ticket, $15.96 for...hey whaddya know, it belongs to the Arizona Diamondbacks again. Expect a rant from diamondhacks on how this independent survey is wildly inaccurate, not independent and how the researchers must have been bought off by Jeff Moorad, in 3...2...1... Alternatively, since that's basically what we got last year, there may instead be a piece on how our caps, at $22, are the most expensive in the majors, and how this proves Ken Kendrick is Satan incarnate. :-) Actually, sympathy is due to 'hacks; the MLBlogs network went through an update of its own lately and...let's just say it doesn't seem to have been as well thought-out as ours. However, going by the logo on his page, he's now an Angels fan?

Good piece in the Republic on Lyon closing. Looks like, if nothing else, he will peeve a lot fewer opposing fans:

I'm going to downplay this as much as I can all year. It's the same for me when I go out there to pitch any inning. I'm not going to change what I do. It's just a different inning than what I've been pitching the last couple of years... I try not to think about all the hoopla and the ninth inning. It's just a save situation. Just go out there and try to throw quality strikes and make pitches. Most of the time if you do that you're going to be successful.

Speaking on behalf of my gastro-intestinal tract, I welcome this. I think we had our fill of drama last season. It was a very promising first outing for Lyon, but I suspect we won't know for sure until he's blown his first save - how he responds to that, will be the true test of his mettle. If he does the same as he did last season, we will be fine - he came into 39 games in 'save situations' [AZ leading by three runs or less] and only blew three of them.

A couple of final notes on yesterday's game. According to HitTrackerOnline.com, Byrnes and Young's homers were the two longest balls hit in the majors so far, in terms of actual distance, at 458 and 443 ft respectively. I was surprised that Eric's went further than Chris's upper-deck shot, but just one of our CF's 32 blasts in 2007 was bigger - the one off David Wells on 09/22, at 479 feet. Byrnes' best was a May 8th, 470-foot shot, against Adam Eaton. Both came at Chase, as did nine of the ten longest homers hit by Diamondbacks all year. Only one road homer passed Byrnes' Opening Day distance; a 467-footer by Mark Reynolds off Lance Cormier at Turner Field, on 08/17.

Jeff Salazar's homer wasn't as far, and was only the third of his career - however, all come as a pinch-hitter, in only 18 PA's. He's now a remarkable 7-for-16 with three HR off the bench. "I don't know if I want to continue that trend or not," he said. "Probably the biggest thing that I learned was to try to anticipate situations... If you can be ready before he [Kirk Gibson] tells you to be ready, I think it makes it easier. You don't hit a panic mode... It's still not easy. I'm still accustomed to being an everyday guy." If you keep delivering like you did yesterday, Jeff, we will soon be saying "Tony who?", in addition to "Jose who?"

Record: 1-0 - Pace: 162-0 [!] - Change on last season: 0

On the basis of this game, it looks like 2008 is going to be just like 2007, with Arizona winning games on a basis of brilliant pitching, defensive solidity and just enough runs to frustrate the opposition. Brandon Webb and three of the New Relievers of the Apocalypse combined to three-hit the Reds, while Chris Young, Eric Byrnes and Jeff Salazar all went deep for Arizona. While it may not have been the longest bomb of the day - that'd be Young's upper-deck blast - it took Salazar precisely one 2008 plate-appearance to match his home-run tally for all of 2007, swatting a pinch-hit homer in the top of the seventh, which gave us a very welcome insurance run. Jeff is now on pace to hit 162 homers this season. I love early-season projections. :-)

Brandon Webb was his regal self, despite the odd control issue which saw him issue more walks than hits in his six innings of work. His change-up was particularly impressive, and responsible for five of his six strikeouts, including a pair of particularly-impressive K's of Ken Griffey Jr. Webb also used his curve-ball effectively, and that was enough on a day when he sometimes struggled to find the zone with his trademark sinker. He was lifted for a pinch-hitter after having thrown 91 pitches. That's in line with his first outings of the previous couple of years, which ran 96 and 98 pitches. No point in overexerting him in Game #1.

Equally good was the bullpen: first Qualls - we're still working on an appropriately apocalyptic name for him - then Peña and Lyon, combined to throw a trio of hitless innings, with no walks either, and the only base-runner a hit batter by Qualls. I was particularly impressed by (and, truth be told, somewhat relieved to see) Lyon's outing. It looked a bit flaky, as he fell behind Adam Dunn 3-1, but he came back to get him with a venomous bit of high heat, then nailed Encarnacion by getting him to flail at a beautiful curve. Hatteberg popped up, and Lyon had nailed down the save with a 1-2-3 ninth. That will go a long way to settling nerves caused by his poor spring and the departure of Jose Valverde - Papa Grande only had one perfect outing in our first 22 games last year.

On offense, this remained a generally underwhelming part of our game, as we managed only five hits, with Aaron Harang doing a fine job of tying up our bats with his off-speed pitches. His fast balls, on the other hand... Young and Byrnes went deep in the third, and the only other hit that we got off him, was Jackson's RBI single in the first, that drove in Hudson. He'd reached on an error, and went to second on a wild pitch, so it was good to see the D-backs making the most of the chances offered by the opposing pitcher. Jackson and the promoted Snyder, hitting in the 5-spot, reached twice, each getting a hit and a walk. However, our young trio of Young, Reynolds and Upton struggled, going a combined 1-for-12 with 7 K's.

The defense also deserves credit for an almost-flawless performance, the only mistake probably being Young misplay of a ball that skidded past him on the wet outfield grass, all the way to the wall for a triple that drove in the Reds' first run, and set the table for the second, making it a 3-2 game. Apart from that, the defense was solid, with Reynolds making an early highlight-reel play, a bare-handed grab and throw on an infield squibber, and Orlando Hudson's play at second was, frankly, brilliant. He vacuumed down a pop-up in shallow right-center that would have left Young dead in the water, and also made a brilliant diving stop and throw on a ground-ball by Griffey. His best play was not rewarded by an out, but his effort on a ball up the middle off Harang's bat, which he stopped and threw to first from shallow left-field, was astonishing.

The start of the game was delayed almost an hour by rain - having taken the day off work, I would have been royally peeved had the game then been postponed, and I heaved a sigh as we reached the last out of the fifth, and the game finally became official. It was a solid way to start the season, putting to rest any concerns about Webb and Lyon caused by their spring form, and proved a good way to mark the 10th anniversary of the franchise's first-ever game. With a somewhat happier ending than that game, it has to be said!

[click to enlarge, in new window]
Master of his domain: Brandon Webb, +17.9%
[Honorary mention, Jeff Salazar: +13.9%]
God-Emperor of suck: Mark Reynolds, -7.3%

This was the first full test of the Gameday Threads on v2.0, and the result was a stunning 672 comments, setting a new record for a regular season-game. The new platform largely kicks ass, though it experienced slowdown and some timeouts towards the end - though, by most accounts, we escaped the worst of the effects, which were seen on sites like Bleed Cubbie Blue. We will be launching new overspill Gameday Threads if we hit 500 comments, to try and alleviate this problem: it also, curiously, seems to work better if you preview and then post, rather than just hitting post.

Thanks to all those who took part today, whether they took the day off, were commenting from work or just popping in. Participating today were seton hall snake pit, unnamedDBacksfan, TwinnerA, Wactivist, hotclaws, dstorm, kishi, 4 Corners Fan, Azreous, foulpole, LucaMaz3, Craig from Az [welcome!], visiting fan Fat Vegas Alan, Wimb, Mr. Philosophical, mikeb, snakecharmer, leemellon, Stile4aly, Huxtable Reunion [welcome!], bcloirao, DiamondbacksWIn, ncdbackfan, soco, Muu and azshadowwalker. I'd like to thank unnamedDBacksfan, in particular, for introducing me to the hell which is the band Ozone and their song, Dragostea Din Tei. YouTube is your friend. Just don't expect to close your eyes, for catchy Rumanian Europop will keep you going all night.

Always fun to spend the entire day watching and following baseball: going back to work tomorrow is gonna suck! My personal highlight was seeing the Cubs score three runs in the bottom of the ninth to tie the game, then lose it in the tenth - the winning run was scored by Craig Counsell, so even when they leave us, our players are still Cub killers. The Mets behind Santana rolled over the Marlins, and the Braves scored five in the bottom of the ninth to tie it, but still lost to Pittsburgh in 12 innings.

In the NL West, the Giants are what we thought they were - sucky - and the Rockies were very lucky to escape with a weather-beating, their game being called off before becoming official, with Colorado in a 5-1 hole. Their incredible luck from the end of the 2007 season, is clearly carrying forward to 2008... Penny and the Dodgers shut out the Giants on five hits, and Peavy and the Padres are three-hitting the Astros. Not really any surprises there. Peavy, however, had two RBIs, and has had a better night at the plate than Scott Hairston, 0-for-4 with 2 K's.

A very satisfactory day, all told. Kinda weird having an off-day already, but at least we can enjoy it from a winning perspective, which makes any day better!