Pit Your Wits Week 11: D-Backs of Future Past

Matt Kartozian-USA TODAY Sports

No one ever reads these things, so I'm going to drop some real talk: Continuum is the best show on TV right now. The first 2 seasons are on Netflix, and the third is currently on Syfy (or Showcase, if you're weird and Canadian). You'll love it, it has time travel.

Last week I challenged you to write an in-game promo for one of the broadcasters to read (strangely enough, no one chose any of the radio people). Here are the winners:

Gold-star_medium

Hi, Daron Sutton here for Black Helicopters.

Silver-star_medium

Hi, Mark Grace here

for 1800 Tequila. Whatever happened to drunk broadcasters? I mean, back in the day, you could come to work as a broadcaster completely sloshed out of your mind. Now, you have to show up for work sober, and sober broadcasters’ stories AREN’T NEARLY AS FUNNY AS MINE!!!!! Anyway, 1800 Tequila. Bring back the tradition of drunk broadcasters.

Whatever you've got planned, forget it. I'm the Doctor. I'm from the planet Gallifrey, in the constellation of Kasterborous. I am the Oncoming Storm, the Bringer of Darkness. And you... are basically just a rabbit, aren't you? ~The Doctor
Dodgers HBP this season: 3

Bronze-star_medium

Steve Berthiaume here

with Cindy Brunson along the way, on this glorious Memorial Day weekend, and Cindy, what better way to celebrate our country and our Diamondbacks than with Doublemint gum?

Cindy: That’s right, Steve! Nothing packs the delicious….

Steve (interrupting): There’s a LOOONG FLY BALL. DEEEEEP TO LEFT CENTER FIELD! AND THAT ball… is…. snagged… by Mesoraco…just in front of the mound. Honey?

Cindy: That’s right, Steve! And chew on this. Nothing packs the delicious, double barrel flavor of Doublemint gum. It’s tasty, long lasting – and like our Dbacks – brings people together in this historic country of ours.

Steve: Give me Doublemint or give me Death!

Cindy: A spouse divided cannot stand!

Together: God Bless America and God Bless our Arizona Diamondbacks. The Doublemint Way!

Not everything that can be counted counts, and not everything that counts can be counted. - William B Cameron 1963

After 10 weeks the standings look like this:

Name Gold Silver Bronze Total Points
kishi 6 0 0 18
Diamondhacks 2 1 1 9
Jim McLennan 2 1 0 8
imstillhungry95 0 4 0 8
Clefo 1 2 0 7
AzRattler 0 0 4 4
Moranall 0 1 1 3
blank_38 0 1 1 3
SenSurround 0 1 1 3
DbacksSkins 1 0 0 3
Xipooo 0 1 1 3
Zavada's Mustache 1 0 0 3
4 Corner's Fan 0 1 0 2
benhat 0 1 0 2
piratedan7 0 1 0 2
Opoohwan 0 1 0 2
Fangdango 0 1 0 2
preston.salisbury 0 0 2 2
hotclaws 0 1 0 2
John Baragona 0 1 0 2
PR151 0 0 1 1
TolkienBard 0 0 1 1

This week's prompt:

Pick a moment from the D-backs past. Which one, and how would you change it (and what unintended consequences might there be)?

As usual, rec the ones you love. And don't be stingy, otherwise you won't get admission to Professor X's School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

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