Series Preview #15: Diamondbacks vs. Rockies

USA TODAY Sports

This did not mistakenly go up too early last night. You imagined that.

Hello internet! I know what you're thinking: "Hey, you're not Zavada's Moustache!" That is a correct statement. I'm pinch-hitting for ZM on this preview because he's "Graduating" or "My house is on fire!" or "Help, Slovakian gangsters have kidnapped my family!" Or something. I mean, whatever. I graduated from college and I didn't miss any of my pit assignments!

It was December when you graduated, Clefo. Not exactly peak baseball season.

Shut up, voice. You're not real.

Anyway, the Rockies. Last time we saw them, the Diamondbacks had taken three of four from them in Phoenix, and we were feeling pretty good about ourselves then, weren't we? The Rockies have managed to at least temporarily stave off their often predicted regression by the tried and true baseball strategy of "Score lots and lots of runs in such a manner to make it hard for the pitching staff to mess it up." This has mostly worked, though they blew a six-run lead to the Giants on Thursday and almost had a repeat performance on Friday. So the Rockies pitching against the Diamondbacks offense is the ultimate in "Resistible Force vs. Movable Object."

On one hand, we should be a little thankful to the Rockies for giving the D'Backs portions of first place coming into this series, however they are only out for themselves and don't care about you, girlfriend (snap snap snap). They want to be in first place too and they don't care about your feelings while they try to do it. Also, Tulo, and Dinger.

The Rockies took three of four from the Giants, meaning they are tied for second place in the NL West with the Giants. It's like its 2007 all over again! Wow, those new uniforms for the D'Backs sure are rad, eh? I hear that Bioware's gonna release this game, Mars Effect and it might be kinda popular! I think MySpace will continue its reign of terror! etc. etc.

If you had told a random internet pundit that the D'Backs and Rockies would be the top two teams in the NL West at any point past the first week of the season, they probably would have made a rude and dismissive gesture towards you. They're mean like that, don't let it hurt your feelings. Right now both teams are playing well and winning games in their own ways. In fact, you could say they're "Locked-in" if you wanted to. And I do want to, cause reasons.

Game 1: Patrick Corbin (6-0, 1.52 ERA) vs. Jon Garland (3-4, 4.89 ERA)

Commentary: What can you say about Patrick Corbin that hasn't been said? "He's a big fan of Oasis' final album Dig Out Your Soul." Well... "He has a pet scorpion named 'Eduardo'" Now, wait here... "He figured out the plot twist in The Usual Suspects five minutes into the movie." I think you're making these up.

Corbin has allowed two or fewer runs in all of his starts and the Diamondbacks have won every game that he's started. He is an unstoppable killing machine, with a low walk and high k rate. You cannot escape, just accept it. I for one welcome our new Corbin overlord.

I'm told that there are people out there who are STILL upset that Garland was traded away in 2009. Sure, Tony Abreu didn't amount to anything, but Garland was on a one-year deal on a terrible team and he kept bitchin' about the roof, so of course you get something back for him.

Game 2: Ian Kennedy (2-3, 4.88 ERA) vs. Jhoulys Chacin (3-3, 4.07 ERA)

Commentary: Kennedy now has a higher ERA than Brandon McCarthy. Granted, this is mostly because McCarthy commenced total pwnage (technical term) during his last two starts, but it's staggering to think. Kennedy pitched well after some early trouble against the Phillies, but was knocked around some against the Braves, but was bailed out by the offense (weird, right?). What's troubling is that it's Mid May and Kennedy has 23 walks. His past two years he only walked 55, so he should probably fix that, right?

Chacin looked like he was going to assume the mantle of "Best pitcher on the Rockies, whatever that's worth." However, he's been beaten up on lately, including giving up the aforementioned 6-0 lead to the Giants on Thursday. Can the D'Backs take advantage? I dunno, maybe?

Game 3: Trevor Cahill (3-4, 2.48 ERA) vs. Jorge De La Rosa (5-3, 3.58 ERA)


Commentary: Cahill has silently filled the role of "Second best pitcher on the team behind some snot-nosed young lefty who doesn't play by anybody's rules and I'm tired of having to cover for them with the commissioner" on the staff for the second straight year. He had some control problems against the Marlins his last start, but they're the Marlins and couldn't capitalize. He may not be so lucky if he has similar things against the Rockies. Or he might be.

Remember when Jorge De La Rosa was part of the Richie Sexson trade? Boy, was that fun! He never pitched for the Brewers so ha ha we won? He's been effective, even by non-Rockies standards, this season and he is a lefty, so the odds of the Gibby "ZOMG THROW JOSH WILSON OUT THERE" lineup is a specter over this game.

Three Pressing Questions:

Are the Rockies seriously for real? Still hard to say at this point,but they are definitely performing better than expected, and just goes to show that having a healthy Tulo and Cargo can help the lineup exponentially.

What would happen if Dinger and Cody Ross made eye contact?: It would be like a failed Giga Slave

ZM usually gets us Ice Cream after these, can we pleeeeeaaasse?: Oh, sure kids. Let's go to Baskin Robbins!

Rockies SBNation Blog: Purple Row

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