Pit Your Wits Week 11: Climbing The Hill

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Hello, Pit Your Wits again. How have you been. You never call, and I see you post pictures on Facebook with some guy. Is he...? Okay, it's none of my business, but we should like hang out or something, when you've got time, of course.

Last week's results after the jump. I also promise you that before this decade is out, Pit Your Wits and every other AZSnakepit weekly feature will be robot-free!

Last week's challenge was an intentionally vague question about where to find the offense for the Diamondbacks. I must say, you people are weird... which results in creativity!
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piratedan7 wins this round with this typical 8 recs noir story:

It all started with a dame, but then again, doesn't it always?

She whirred into my office with a look on her face that made my OBP rise a hundred points. She said she had a job, she was in trouble with some rough characters and what was a poor innocent thing like her to do? While she batted those luscious lashes in my direction I could see that she was playing coy, she didn’t say who she was working for but it was plain to see that she was protecting someone or someones that were dear to her. I told her to "spill it sister, play your cards and I’ll tell you your fortune…." She stopped with the waterworks and revealed that she had a friend with a problem. I said sure, we all got friends like those. She said that I had it all wrong, it wasn’t her problem, she said with a small smirk, it was a problem that her friends had, they simply couldn’t score. I could see what she meant, friends who couldn’t score eh? It was evident that she didn’t have that problem because she had it all, an adoring fanbase, a quick wit and eyes that … well never mind that, her friends had an issue and anything I could do to stay close to this dame was worth the risk… so I asked her for her name…. she said it was ’Charmer. That was it, just Charmer eh? She nodded coquettishly and then I asked about her friends, she said that they were the Arizona Diamondbacks and somehow, someway that had forgotten to either dot a T or dash an I and my job was to find that elusive missing punctuation…..

I used to be disgusted, now I try to be amused....

by piratedan7 on Jun 14, 2012 4:06 PM MST reply actions 8 recs


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soco takes second with 5 recs with... well, click the link, it will all be explained there:


human please help

we have information regarding the cyberian invasion that is now imminent

we aren’t at a safe channel

follow us here and eliminate all trace of this communiqué

Tomorrow is another day.

by soco on Jun 15, 2012 9:50 AM MST reply actions 5 recs



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blank_38 takes a solid third with some double meanings up in this heezy:

Dbacks Go On Field Trip To Filiberto's

Hope to find runs.

Today, Redemption is spelled R-O-B-E-R-T-S

by blank_38 on Jun 14, 2012 2:31 PM MST reply actions 4 recs



You want to know the scores? Well figure them out yourself! What do you mean "You're the one with the RTF file on your laptop with the current standings, numbers are hard!" Fine... lazy people:

Person Points
blank_38 22
kishi 18
Bryn21 18
luckycc 16
SenSurround 9
soco 9
piratedan7 7
jjwaltrip 6
aclaritymaven 6
imstillhungry95 5
Jim McLennan 3
Rockkstarr12 3
Nonpartisan 2
Diamondhacks 1
hotclaws 1

This week's challenge is very very important, hence the bold type. There have been a lot of nicknames in Baseball history. Babe Ruth was "The Sultan of Swat", Pete Rose was "Charlie Hustle", and Randy Johnson was "The Big Unit".

These are some of the more evocative and creative nicknames. Some nicknames are unique to a certain segment of a fanbase, and are sort of an in-joke that nobody else will get. ("RBI Machine" and "Abrananaham" as a few examples on this site.)

Meet Aaron Hill. You know what he looks like at this point. He is the current starting Second Baseman (Not Shortstop, guy sitting behind me during yesterday's game) for the Arizona Diamondbacks. He needs a nickname. Your task this week is to give him one.

Yes, I realize that he is sometimes referred to as "Hilly", but that is lazy nicknamery, and will not be tolerated in this dojo.

The top three most rec'd entries will get points, and the top rec'd entry will be submitted for official nicknaming*. Get to it!

*I don't know how this would actually work, probably something with lasers.
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