Softball practice was over so I hopped in my car and turned on the radio. Tom Candiotti's strange compliments immediately began to pepper my ears. It was a good thing, though. Not like one of those awkward or back-handed compliments you get after a haircut. "You look soooo much better now." Yeah, thanks.
David Hernandez had just shooed away Jordan Pacheco and the D-backs held a two-run lead with only four outs remaining. I felt cocky. "Psssshhh. GAME OVER, SON!" I was wrong. Within a few minutes I would find myself pulling over to search for an answer. Chocolate bars.
Admittedly, this wasn't a game I was extremely hyped up for. We were/are ahead in the division by seven games, Collmenter was starting, rain was probable, and it was the Rockies. There's nothing more boring to me than the Rockies. I'd rather watch the Astros or Padres and see if some no-name guy loses his mind and hits for the cycle. The Rockies, though? Meh. They're just a bunch of cheaters that defy science.
Here I am, though, writing a recap while looking at the box score and watching not-so-pleasant highlights. It was a game that was faintly reminiscent of the early 2011-entire 2010 season. To shorten the story, the bullpen decided they'd rather be playing Minecraft and the offense forgot that the opposing pitcher had an ERA+ of 88 and had only struck out 5+ batters once all year. That, and the Rockies probably cheated.
The Diamondbacks had their usual gaffes and ganders that are normally present: John McDonald lined a double before being thrown out trying to make it to third. Josh Collmenter threw a quality start without walking a batter. Chris Young continued to slump. Miguel Montero knocked in another RBI. Justin Upton mashed the ball some more and Aaron Hill hit, scored, and made that whole 'not striking out thing' look really simple.
It boiled down to a fairly climactic moment in the bottom of the seventh inning with the D-backs clinging to a 2-1 lead. Brad Ziegler rode his Yellow Submarine in and inherited a messy situation with runners on first and second with only one out. The Rockies took advantage of the hoagie-thrower by pulling a nifty double steal. Lucky for us, Ziegler had an idea that was juuustt crazy enough to work. He threw a wild pitch... intentionally. You following me? Montero played it off like it was a mistake but he knew that ball would careen back to him. Boom, boom, boom and wuddya'know, Eric Young Jr. is tagged out trying to steal home. If you missed all that, there were two stolen bases, a wild pitch, and an out made within one plate appearance. Awesome. Wilin Rosario promptly struck out in awe, still trying to piece together the puzzle.
The D-backs tacked on another run in the top of the 8th inning with a little help from a Jordan Pacheco error. Cue David Hernandez in the bottom of the 8th inning and the recap intro. I had just tuned into the radio and suddenly everything... went... wrong. To save us from the humanity, I'll simply say that David Hernandez was bad, Joe Paterson was bad, and Sam Demel was bad - Rockies 8, Diamondbacks 3.
Worst. Fangraph. Ever.
[Click to enlarge, at fangraphs.com]
The man with a plan : Brad Ziegler, 18.8%
The man with a plan but not nearly as impressive: Josh Collmenter, 10.7%
The baseball equivalent of [insert bad thing]: David Hernandez, -72.8%
I can't remember the last time a WPA was that bad.
Pretty decent chunk of activity in the GDT given that soco and DbackSkins were absent. The group plowed away, however, and managed to hit the 1K mark for the 86th time this season (completely true statistic). Here's the full breakdown:
|Name||# of Posts|
|Dallas D'Back Fan||19|
|The so-called Beautiful||12|
Comment of the night was a no-brainer. Thank Dallas D'Back Fan for this gem:
Moving on. We'll turn to Joe Saunders (9-12, 3.86 ERA) as he squares away against... wait, Kevin Millwood is still playing baseball? Well, that's neat. Millwood carries his (2-1, 3.34 ERA) record with him as he tries to continue to not be old.