AZ SnakePit Fantasy Baseball: Week 13

As Wailord makes his way towards Phoenix, Wimb took over on the recap for Division 2 this week. At time of writing I don't have a league table for the lower tier, so will add that if available later [Edit: Now with added Division 2 standings]. Here are the quick results, with the detailed reports after the jump

Division 1
Baked 2, Confederate Generals 7
Shoryukens! 4, AZ SnakePit 6
7-2 Offsuiters 6, Sofa King Juiced 4
Blonde Streaks 2, NiceCrispyBacon 7
Moving on Uptons 9, Balco's Boys 1
Lady Gaga Regatta 5, The Fighting Amish 4
warlords 7, Funny Team Name 2

Division 2
(7) The Septimoes 5-4 Alabama Slammers (1)
(2) Gotham City Knights 5-4 Spaghetti Monsters (5)
(16) Chazwozzles 0-9 Mizzoula Osprey (3)
(4) Scratch My Ichiro 3-6 Wimboes Barmy Army (14)
(6) Tempe Rangers 6-4 Sprankton (15)
(8) Phoenix Fly 5-4 DHARMA Initiative (10)
(11) The Cardboard Boxes 2-8 Dantes Revenge (13)          
(12) Gang of Nine  4-4 Yiddish Pimp Slap (9)

DIVISION ONE

Baked 2, Confederate Generals 7
The Generals dominated pitching, racking up 60 strikeouts and six Wins, along with a 2.86 ERA. Wainwright had two Wins and 16 K's, while Morrow fanned 15. Morneau homered twice and drove in six for them, while Young also had two HR and seven RBI for Baked.

Shoryukens! 4, AZ SnakePit 6
Guerrero and Uggla combined to drive in eighteen runs with five homers for Snake, while Hunter had two homers and seven RBI for Shoryu. Snake enjoyed a collective 2.38 ERA from their pitchers, but Rodriguez picked up three saves for Shoryu, in a losing cause.

7-2 Offsuiters 6, Sofa King Juiced 4
7-2 swept hitting, though mostly because Sofa failed to hit, batting .235 with a total of two home-runs. Rolen drove in six runs for 7-2 and Swisher homered twice. Sofa came back on the mound where Lee had two Wins + 13 K's, but three Sv for 7-2's Bailey proved key.

Blonde Streaks 2, NiceCrispyBacon 7
A power outage struck here, the two sides getting only six homers between them. However, Bacon's .311 BA helped them take all five offense points, with Barmes (two HR, seven Runs, eight RBI) their star. They got a W + nine K's from Dempster; Hudson, a W + 13 K for Blonde.

Moving on Uptons 9, Balco's Boys 1
Moving came within three K's of a shutout, and had an ERA of 2.13 for the week. Capps vultured up two wins on their account, and fellow relief pitcher Soria got four Saves. Uptons' Pujols was Player of the Week at the plate, homering four times and driving in nine.

Lady Gaga Regatta 5, The Fighting Amish 4
The week's closest contest went to Lady, who won thanks to Saves ending tied at four - Soriano had three for Amish. They also got four HR from Gonzalez and three by Votto. But Lady got a W + 10 K from Verlander, and a W + two Saves from Bell, and hit .295 for the week.

warlords 7, Funny Team Name 2
Funny held their own at the plate, where Kemp homered three times and Bay drove in ten runs. However, war got two HR and seven RBI from Ramirez, and took all the pitching categories: Cain fanned a dozen, while Weaver got a W with seven shutout innings of work.

Standings

Team W L T PCT GB Streak
The Fighting Amish 69 48 13 0.581 0 L1
7-2 Offsuiters 68 54 8 0.554 3.5 L2
Moving on Uptons 69 55 6 0.554 3.5 W6
warlords 68 56 6 0.546 4.5 W3
Baked 63 60 7 0.512 9 L2
AZ SnakePit 62 60 8 0.508 9.5 W2
Funny Team Name 57 58 15 0.496 11 L3
Sofa King Juiced 60 62 8 0.492 11.5 W2
NiceCrispyBacon 58 60 12 0.492 11.5 L1
Blonde Streaks 60 62 8 0.492 11.5 W1
Confederate Generals 57 62 11 0.481 13 W2
Lady Gaga Regatta 54 66 10 0.454 16.5 W1
Balco's Boys 53 73 4 0.423 20.5 L6
Shoryukens! 51 73 6 0.415 21.5 L2


Week 14 Games
Baked at Funny Team Name
Shoryukens! at NiceCrispyBacon
7-2 Offsuiters at Lady Gaga Regatta
Blonde Streaks at The Fighting Amish
Moving on Uptons at Confederate Generals
Balco's Boys at Sofa King Juiced
warlords at AZ SnakePit

DIVISION TWO

Howdy folks and welcome to the wonderful world of Division II baseball, the place where dreams are made. This week saw a flurry of trade activity as various teams sought to bolster their lineups or make desperate gambles to try and avoid the basement.

The last week saw no fewer then 18 players change clubs, with the eye catching deals including Josh Johnson and John Lackey going to the Dharma Initiative in exchange for Ubaldo Jimenez and Aaron Harang. Jason Heyward went from Chazwozzles to the Cardboard Boxes in exchange for CarGon. The Boxes also acquired  Dustin Pedroia and RA Dickey from WBA to the in exchange for Neftali Feliz and Mike Pelfrey. Who’ll win those trades? It remains to be seen but meanwhile onto the results.

Week 13 Results

(7) The Septimoes 5-4 Alabama Slammers (1)
Slammers looked to extend their lead at the top of the division playing mid-table outfit the Septimoes. However a batting category sweep from Septimoes ensured that they would cause an upset and keep Slammers down to earth.  David Wright notched 7 runs, 3 RBI and 2 steals while batting .438 and was ably assisted by Justin Morneau who ended up with 2HR and 6RBI to help the home side keep in playoff contention. On the other side of the coin the Slammers did take all but the wins category in the pitching stakes, helped by a whopping 5 saves from Octavio Dotel and 12K’s from your 2010 non all star Stephen Strasburg.

(2) Gotham City Knights 5-4 Spaghetti Monsters (5)
Another battle between two top half sides ended in another narrow victory, this time for second place GCK.  Once again it was a game of two halves as the Knights took the clean sweep of the pitching categories and Monsters took 4/5 of the batting stats. On the pitching side Batman’s home town were indebted to Cliff Lee after the former Cleveland man notched up two wins and 13k’s, whilst three saves from Rafael Soriano also helped turn the tide. The Monsters and their manager was probably the only person connected with the pit to curse Hiroki Kuroda’s outing this week as he helped them on their way to a 5.19 team ERA. But on the positive side, Brandon Phillips scored 6 times and hit 2HR, and combined with shortstop Rafael Furcal (9R 2HR, 5RBI, .538) to ensure that the Monsters at least kept it close.

(16) Chazwozzles 0-9 Mizzoula Osprey (3)
When you’ve seen your own team be relegated from Div1 and find yourself bottom of Div2, it’s hard not to feel sympathy for the Chazwozzles who just can’t seem to catch a break right now. Despite the heavy scoreline, the ‘Wozzles missed out in SB’s by 1, W’s by 1, Saves by 1 and K’s by just 4. Meanwhile it’s hard to stomach losing the ERA and WHIP categories when your own staff puts up figures of 2.43 and 1.14 respectively. However the scoreboard is a harsh mistress and the Osprey reigned supreme in large part thanks to Albert Pujols (7R, 4HR, 9RBI 2SB) and also thanks to the efforts of Matt ‘Dirty Fuentes’ Capps (ESPN Fantasy Podcast Ref….) who picked up 2 wins for the Osprey. The Chazwozzles had good output from Jaime Garcia (1W 7K 0.71WHIP) and David Ortiz (4R 1HR 7RBI) but it just wasn’t enough.  Here’s to hoping the recent trading season will see a second half turnaround for the league’s bottom side.

(4) Scratch My Ichiro 3-6 Wimboes Barmy Army (14)
Wow… Have to say I didn’t expect to win this one but I’ll take it. The Barmy Army took a much needed victory from the title chasing SMI primarily thanks to strong offence from the likes of Jason Bay (5R, 2HR, 10RBI ) and Aubrey Huff (4R, 3HR, 7RBI). Ichiro did secure 2 pitching points thanks in large part to Tim Hudson (1W 13K 1.80 ERA) but disappointing weeks from the likes of Konerko, Soto, A-Rod, Granderson and Carlos Pena, allowed the cellar dwellers to score a rare British victory in an otherwise bad sporting week for the UK.

(6) Tempe Rangers 6-4 Sprankton (15)
If there’s such a thing as a good loss then this was it as Spranktron pulled clear of the bottom after securing 4 much needed points against the Rangers.  Former Diamondback Dan Uggla provided 2 key HR and Chris Coughlan’s 7R’s helped secure some of the batting stats whilst Soria’s 4 saves helped nail down the saves. But overall the Rangers proved why they are so much higher in the standings as 11K’s from Randy Wells and 7RBI from Evan Longoria helped keep the Rangers on track for a playoff berth.  Tempe’s only problem now seems to be the fact they have both V-Mart and J-Varitek on their roster….

(8) Phoenix Fly 5-4 DHARMA Initiative (10)
A midtable battle here, but neither team will be happy with the final outcome as they all but split the points. The Fly took 4/5 Batting stats with Joey Votto (6R 3HR 7RBI) and Matt Kemp (4R, 3HR, 7RBI) leading the way.  DHARMA took 3/5 pitching points with King Felix (W 11K’s 0ERA) and Andrew Bailey (3 Saves) securing points for the Initiative.

(11) The Cardboard Boxes 2-8 Dantes Revenge (13)
The Boxes made a flurry of moves this week and after 2 succesive 8-2 defeats who can blame them. Dante’s moved to within 5 points of .500 after a dominating week that was more due to good contributions by the entire team then by individuals. Still, Mark Reynolds (3R 2HR 6RBI) and Clayton Richard (W 10RBI 2.57 ERA) were the most impressive of the bunch. On the other hand the Boxes had the departing CarGon to thank for winning HR’s as he scored 3 out of their 6 bombs, and another departing player Neftali Feliz helped lead them to wins in the saves stat with 2.

(12) Gang of Nine  4-4 Yiddish Pimp Slap (9)
This week’s only draw was another midtable battle between the Pimps and the GoN. The aforementioned GoN earned 3 batting points thanks to Vladdy (4R 3HR 10RBI) and Clint Barmes (8R 2HR 7RBI)  Whilst the Pimp Slap got 4 saves combined from Bell and Street and 3SB’s from Coco Crisp to help earn them a share of the spoils.

And that my pedigree chums is that for this week. Next weeks matchups is highlighted by the 2nd- placed Knights taking on the 4th-placed Ichiro. Meanwhile Chazwozzles will be hoping a matchup with the slumping Boxes helps put her back within striking distance of the other teams at the bottom. 


1.   Alabama Slammers 76-43-11 .627 - 4-5-1 7 18
2.   Gotham City Knights 74-44-12 .615 1.5 5-4-1 5 34
3.   Mizzoula Osprey 75-49-6 .600 3.5 9-0-1 15 23
4.   Scratch my Ichiro 68-55-7 .550 10 3-6-1 9 16
5.   Tempe Prangers 68-57-5 .542 11 6-4-0 10 23
6.   Spaghetti Monsters 65-54-11 .542 11 4-5-1 1 24
7.   The Septimoes 64-57-9 .527 13 5-4-1 3 6
8.   PhoenixFly 61-57-12 .515 14.5 5-4-1 6 38
9.   Yiddish Pimp Slap 60-62-8 .492 17.5 4-4-2 12 36
10.   DHARMA Initiative 60-63-7 .488 18 4-5-1 16 37
11.   Dantes Revenge 60-65-5 .481 19 8-2-0 2 12
12.   Gang of Nine 53-63-14 .462 21.5 4-4-2 11 28
13.   The Cardboard Boxes 55-67-8 .454 22.5 2-8-0 13 26
14.   Wimboes Barmy Army 45-71-14 .400 29.5 6-3-1 14 41
15.   Sprankton 46-77-7 .381 32 4-6-0 8 27
16.   Chazwozzles 34-80-16 .323 39.5 0-9-1 4 35

[CBSSports.com is an SB Nation partner and paying sponsor of the SB Nation baseball communities. This post is one of a series of sponsor endorsed posts related to the CBSSports.com Fantasy Baseball Commissioner League.]

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