AZ SnakePit Fantasy Baseball, Week 8

to be confused with the Arizona Diamondbacks Nightmare Baseball we've seen over the past week of course. Yes, I'm still pissed at Chad Qualls, whose blown save on Sunday night cost me overall victory in this round. That's just unacceptable, Mr. Qualls. Anyway, here are the quick results for both tiers [thanks to Ryan for the lower tier info]: recaps, the standings, and a look forward to next week are after the jump.

Division 1
The Fighting Amish 3, Funny Team Name 5
Baked 10, Shoryukens! 0
Confederate Generals 1, 7-2 Offsuiters 8
Moving on Uptons 7, Blonde Streaks 3
NiceCrispyBacon 4, AZ SnakePit 4
Balco's Boys 7, Lady Gaga Regatta 3
Sofa King Juiced 3, warlords 7

Division 2
DHARMA Initiative 5, Spaghetti Monsters 5
Dantes Revenge 2, Alabama Slammers 7
Chazwozzles 4, PhoenixFly 5
Scratch My Ichiro 3, The Septimoes 6
Tempe Prangers 7, Gang of Nine 3
Sprankton 6, Yiddish Pimp Slap 3
Wimboes Barmy Army 3, Fox Hound 7
Gotham City Knights 6, Mizzoula Osprey 4

DIVISION 1

The Fighting Amish 3, Funny Team Name 5
Amish lost, but clung on to top spot by the narrowest possible margin. Pitching was split evenly, both pitching well, with the sides posting ERAs of 2.31 and 2.36 respectively. But Funny's hitting proved decisive, Beltre's two home-runs and eight RBI a crucial factor.

Baked 10, Shoryukens! 0
Baked roared into second place with the first whitewash of the season. Shoryu were a little unfortunately, losing SB, W and Sv by one, K by two and R by three. But Baked got seven RBI from Sandoval, a Win and five strikeouts from Pelfrey, and two Saves by Rauch on the way to the sweep.

Confederate Generals 1, 7-2 Offsuiters 8
7-2 mauled the Generals taking four categories in hitting and pitching. They got three HR from Weeks, and Reyes drove in seven, while Romero notched a Win and 15 K's. The Generals' sole victory came in strikeouts, courtesy of Wainwright (W + 20 K's). Otherwise, it was all 7-2.

Moving on Uptons 7, Blonde Streaks 3
Pujols returned to form for the Uptons, homering four times and driving in nine runs; Phillips scored and drove in six, and they hit a collective .318. On the mound, they got two W and 1$ K's by Lester; Blonde saw Broxton produce three saves, in a losing cause.

NiceCrispyBacon 4, AZ SnakePit 4
Saves and Stolen Bases ended tied - otherwise, Snake took all the hitting categories, and Bacon all the pitching ones. Snake got two home-runs and seven RBI by Kubel, and Youkilis scored eight times. Dempster gave Bacon a W + 14 K's, and Fuentes vultured two Wins.

Balco's Boys 7, Lady Gaga Regatta 3
Appropriately, Balco's B-Boys were the driving force, Buchholz and Burnett combining for four wins and 25 K's, though Lady also got two Wins out of Harang. At the plate, Bruce homered three times for Balco's; Lady would have done better if their 3B + SS had shown up.

Sofa King Juiced 3, warlords 7
It was a collective pitching effort for war, who delivered a 2.08 ERA and minuscule 0.76 WHIP for the week - Santana had a Win and ten strikeouts. They also got three home-runs each by Rios and Ortiz. Juiced got two HR by Bautista, who also scored six Runs.

Team W L T PCT GB Streak
The Fighting Amish 44 28 8 0.600 0 L1
Baked 45 30 5 0.594 0.5 W10
AZ SnakePit 43 32 5 0.569 2.5 L2
7-2 Offsuiters 44 34 2 0.562 3 W2
Moving on Uptons 42 33 5 0.556 3.5 W1
Sofa King Juiced 40 35 5 0.531 5.5 L2
Blonde Streaks 39 37 4 0.512 7 L1
Funny Team Name 34 35 11 0.494 8.5 W1
warlords 36 40 4 0.475 10 W2
Lady Gaga Regatta 34 41 5 0.456 11.5 L2
Confederate Generals 30 43 7 0.419 14.5 L2
Balco's Boys 33 46 1 0.419 14.5 W2
Shoryukens! 31 45 4 0.412 15 L10
NiceCrispyBacon 28 44 8 0.400 16 W2


Week 9 games
The Fighting Amish at AZ SnakePit
Moving on Uptons at Shoryukens!
Funny Team Name at 7-2 Offsuiters
Balco's Boys at Blonde Streaks
Sofa King Juiced at NiceCrispyBacon
Confederate Generals at Lady Gaga Regatta
Baked at warlords

Amish have managed to cling on to top spot, despite going 5-11-4 in the past two rounds. They'll need to improve on that if they want to stay #1, as their lead is only one-half a point, and they face third-ranked SnakePit, who are the only undefeated team in the league, having won five rounds so far and tied three - the right-side of their infield, Kevin Youkilis and Dan Uggla, has 22 HR and 60 RBI to date. Amish counter with the Gonzalez boys, Alex and Carlos (18 HR, 65 RBI).


DIVISION 2

DHARMA Initiative 5, Spaghetti Monsters 5
After falling behind 8-2 at one point, DHARMA was rocketed back into a deadlocked match after picking up Corey Hart, who delivered 2R, 2HR, and 6RBI (all in one game). David Ortiz (DHARMA) continued his torrid streak, delivering 4R, 3HR, and 9RBI. Brandon Phillips (Spaghetti) helped keep the matchup close, belting two home runs of his phone, to go along with 6R and 6RBI. Aaron Harang (Spaghetti) tallied 7K's to go along with his 2W, while no pitcher had more than one win for DHARMA.

Dantes Revenge 2, Alabama Slammers 7
First-place Alabama showed no signs of letting up, sweeping offensive categories while dropping only ERA and WHIP (and tying in W). Dantes pitching staff was absurdly dominant, putting up a combined WHIP of 0.83 to go along with 46K's, highlighted by a 9K, 1W, .83WHIP performance by Johnny Cueto. Halladay (Alabama) twirled a perfect game to go along with 11K's, clearly the showcase of the matchup. Ben Zobrist (Dantes) managed to put up 2HR this week, while Ian Desmond and Martin Prado (Alabama) both tallied 6RBI.

Chazwozzles 4, PhoenixFly 5
Last-place Chazwozzles managed their most respectable game since Week 3, a 6-3 victory over Spaghetti Monsters. Phil Hughes (Chaz) led the pitching staff, notching a W to go with 8K's, a 2.57ERA, all to go along with a 0.86WHIP. Adam Wainwright (Phoenix) tallied a ridiculous 20K's with a 1.29ERA and 1.00WHIP. Howie Kendrick (Chaz) blasted 2HR to go with 7RBI, while Miguel Olivio (Phoenix) batted .571 to go along with his 4RBI and 2SB (both against us, sadly).

Scratch My Ichiro 3, The Septimoes 6
After going 17-3 over Weeks 4/5, Scratch My Ichiro dropped their third consecutive match, going 8-20 over that stretch. Rickie Weeks and Álex Rios (Ichiro) combined for 13R, 6HR, 12RBI, and 3SB this week, leading Ichiro to a 10HR showing. José Reyes (Septimoes) batted .500 for his team, bringing in 7RBI and swiping three bags. Ricky Romero (Septimoes) could only put a 5.02ERA with a 1.53WHIP, but still managed 15K's to let his team take the category. Chamberlain (Ichiro) was of no help, posting a 108.00ERA and 15.00WHIP to go with just one K in a third…

Tempe Prangers 7, Gang of Nine 3
This 2-5 matchup did not go in favor of the underdog, as Tempe bounced back from a 4-5 loss the previous week to chalk up a league-high 57K, as Peavy, Lester, and Cecil all put up double-digit strikeouts on the week. Clay Buccholz (Nine) led the staff, nabbing two W, wherein he managed 12K's, a 0.69ERA, and a 1.15WHIP, the latter of two he helped his team win. CarGon (Tempe) had 9R with his 3R and 5RBI, swiping two bases in the process. Vlad (Nine) continued his hot streak, belting two homers himself to go along with 7RBI.

Sprankton 6, Yiddish Pimp Slap 3
Once-winless and bottom-dwelling Sprankton managed their first win of the season, a feat likely due to the pitching staff, one spearheaded by Ervin Santana's W and 10K's. Joakim Soria (Sprankton) also notched two saves without allowing a baserunner. Garland (Yiddish) had a W and 11K's (along with a 1.29EAR and 1.00WHIP) in a losing effort, as his team dropped all four categories. Miguel Cabrera (Sprankton) smashed 4HR with 8RBI, while Jose Bautista (Yiddish) continued his power surge, knocking out two of his phone.

Wimboes Barmy Army 3, Fox Hound 7
The Army's run of futility continues, despite the blockbuster move of sending Hanley Ramirez (week: .429AVG, 1HR, 2RBI) and Jason Kubel (week: .333AVG, 2HR, 7RBI) to Fox Hound get Justin Upton (week: .056AVG, 0HR, 2RBI) and Chris Carpenter (1W, 5K), early signs showing that Fox hound was the major winner in the trade. Newly-acquired Jay Bruce (Fox) hit three blasts of his own with 6RBI, second on the team behind Kubel. The Army's staff "ace", Wandy Rodriguez, put up a 21.60ERA with 5K's, credited with a loss.

Gotham City Knights 6, Mizzoula Osprey 4
The matchup of the week features #4 Gotham up against #3 Mizzoula, with Gotham coming away with the minor upset. The Knights have yet to lose this season, posting a matchup record of 7-0-1, and the streak showed no signs of stopping, as free agent pickup Anibal Sánchez (Gotham) posted 2W, 13K, a 1.38ERA, and a 1.15WHIP to spearhead the pitching effort. Oswalt was the only pitcher to manage a win for Mizzoula. Pujols (Mizzoula) returned to form, belting the 4HR that put the Osprey over the top to go along with a .364AVG, 9RBI, and 6R. Robinson Canó batted .545 with 9 RBI for the Knights.

Rank
Team
W-L-T
Pct
GB
1
Alabama Slammers
51-24-5
0.669
-
2
Tempe Prangers
49-28-3
0.631
3
3
Gotham City Knights
45-29-6
0.600
5.5
4
Mizzoula Osprey
44-32-4
0.575
7.5
5
Spaghetti Monsters
40-35-5
0.531
11
6
PhoenixFly
38-34-8
0.525
11.5
7
Gang of Nine
37-34-9
0.519
12
8
Scratch my Ichiro
39-37-4
0.513
12.5
9
The Septimoes
36-38-6
0.488
14.5
10
DHARMA Inititiave
36-40-4
0.475
15.5
11
Fox Hound
35-40-5
0.469
16
12
Yiddish Pimp Slap
35-41-4
0.463
16.5
13
Dantes Revenge
34-42-4
0.450
17.5
14
Sprankton
27-46-7
0.381
23
15
Chazwozzles
23-46-11
0.356
25
16
Wimboes B. Army
24-47-9
0.356
25

[CBSSports.com is an SB Nation partner and paying sponsor of the SB Nation baseball communities. This post is one of a series of sponsor endorsed posts related to the CBSSports.com Fantasy Baseball Commissioner League.]
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