Diamondbacks 3, Rockies 7: Fill in the Blanked

ADVERB: ridiculously
ADJECTIVE: Howry-esque
ADJECTIVE 2: maddening
NOUN: DVD box set of LOST
ADJECTIVE 3: frightening
VERB ENDING IN -ED: encouraged
NUMBER GREATER THAN 10: 397
VERB: punch
NOUN 2: mouth
CELESTIAL BODY: Saturn
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE: Apple Juice
ADJECTIVE 4: depressing
NOUN 3: water
NOUN 4: cyanide
EFFEMINATE CELEBRITY: Anderson Cooper
VERB 2: shoot
ADVERB 2: shockingly
VERB ENDING IN -ED 2: enjoyed
NUMBER GREATER THAN 100: 758
PLURAL NOUN: LMD family members
FARAWAY PLACE: first-place
PLURAL NOUN 2: trolls
SNAKEPIT USER: LoveMyDbacks
NAME OF BOY BAND: Justin Bieber (IT COUNTS)
ADJECTIVE 5: different

ADVERB: weakly
ADJECTIVE: extraneous
ADJECTIVE 2: fat
NOUN: Tastykakes
ADJECTIVE 3: rambunctious
VERB ENDING IN -ED: engorged
NUMBER GREATER THAN 10: one million
VERB: instigate
NOUN 2: person mouth
CELESTIAL BODY: the forest moon of Endor
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE: SMIRNOFF ICE BRO
ADJECTIVE 4: tepid
NOUN 3: Eric Byrnes
NOUN 4: cigarette
EFFEMINATE CELEBRITY: John Travolta
VERB 2: snarf
ADVERB 2: humorously
VERB ENDING IN -ED 2: hot-dogged
NUMBER GREATER THAN 100: a thousand
PLURAL NOUN: trombones
FARAWAY PLACE: first place
PLURAL NOUN 2: gorillas
SNAKEPIT USER: soco
NAME OF BOY BAND: the Beatles
ADJECTIVE 5: vain

No easy task for the Diamondbacks tonight, as they took on the best pitcher in baseball this season in Ubaldo Jimenez. Jimenez has thrown the ball (slyly) this season, with an ERA below 1.00 that only got lower tonight. For Jimenez threw eight (flat) shutout innings, giving up just six hits and a walk. I guess it could be considered a small victory that we only struck out three times with our K-happy lineup.

A summary of the Diamondbacks’ offense on the night won’t take very long to get into, because it was (intriguing). Cowboys in the old west would probably say it was as slippery as a (Lucky Strike) on a (crunchy) day. The tone was set in the first, when Kelly Johnson started things off with a leadoff double, then stood around doing nothing while Arizona (plowed) all three of their chances without even advancing the runner. That was the only runner in scoring position they would have until the sixth inning (although it felt like the (10.5)th inning by then), when Drew smoked an opposite-field double. And a couple times when the Diamondbacks would get a baserunner on and start to threaten to put together an inning, somebody would (throw) up and hit into a double play.

Once Jimenez was safely stuck back in the (Mr. T) with the rest of the Rockies, Arizona finally woke up a little. Back-to-back hits by Drew and LaRoche set the table for Reynolds, who hit a home run all the way to (Wolf 359) to break up the shutout and at least keep things interesting. Let’s just say he was about the only Diamondback who earned his (LoveMyDbacks’ blood) in the post-game spread tonight.

Now, for the pitching. Rodrigo Lopez was faced with the difficult task of out(plopping) Ubaldo Jimenez, and though he wasn’t terrible, he certainly wasn’t good enough. He gave up a solo shot to Seth Smith in the first, but the (slick) blow (and ultimately the difference) was a two-run triple by that (umbrella) Brad Hawpe, with both baserunners having reached via a walk.

Lopez gave up another run in the sixth before calling it a night, but he certainly pitched well enough to keep the team in the game. Of course, that’s a bit misleading, as the Diamondbacks still have just one win this year when they score four runs or less. It’s a good thing that we’ve scored 5+ runs as many times as we have, or this team would REALLY be a (AR-15).

No, the most disappointing part of the night was the continued struggles of one Juan Gutierrez, who basically throws like (Jim McLennan) at this point. Gutierrez labored just trying to get through one inning, and the Rockies looked to (spank) his pitches at every opportunity. The first two batters hit home runs. He managed to (smokingly) get an out before walking Tulo. One out later he was on the cusp of getting out of the inning, but no. Two straight base hits scored a third run before Gutierrez was mercifully (slurped), and he spent the rest of the game looking sad in the dugout. His ERA this year is now 10.00 on the nose, although it might as well be (eleventy billion). Someone should hit Josh Byrnes over the head with a sack of (turtles) if Juan isn’t on the next bus to Reno. Or (Yuma).

Otherwise, Rosa and Valdez combined for 1 1/3 scoreless innings. Yay.

Busy GameDay Thread, although once again we fell just short of 1,000 comments — of course, that will change with a flurry of post-game comments like last night mouth. But for the purpose of this recap, no dice. soco led the way with 200+, and Skins and justin also reached triple digits. The rest of the (global warmings): justin1985, katers, Jim McLennan, DbacksSkins, soco, 4 Corners Fan, snakecharmer, Wailord, hotclaws, emilylovesthedbacks, BattleMoses, skoormit, Jdub220, blank_38, AJforAZ, MidnghtDrgn, Dallas D’Back Fan, unnamedDBacksfan, zeusmith, Azreous, edbigghead.

The Comment of the Night, of course, belonged to (foulpole), who had a gem about Troy Tulowitzki’s love of (Megadeth). We all had a hearty laugh at that one, we did.

Tomorrow, the Diamondbacks will look to avoid a sweep, sending Dan Haren to the mound to try and salvage something in Colorado. I’m sure it will be (good). You know what — on second thought, maybe we should save some of Mark’s (LoveMyDbacks’ blood) for ourselves. It might still be a long season.

If you feel your recap has become a gem, feel free to post it in the comments below. Your peers will thank you.

when applied correctly, works well and almost fits in every space.

As usual. Unfortunate about the three runs we scored in the ninth, rendering the title slightly less accurate than it would otherwise have been…

No easy task for the Diamondbacks tonight, as they took on the best pitcher in baseball this season in Ubaldo Jimenez. Jimenez has thrown the ball (FRUITFULLY) this season, with an ERA below 1.00 that only got lower tonight. For Jimenez threw eight (BOISTEROUS) shutout innings, giving up just six hits and a walk. I guess it could be considered a small victory that we only struck out three times with our K-happy lineup.

A summary of the Diamondbacks’ offense on the night won’t take very long to get into, because it was (JUNKY). Cowboys in the old west would probably say it was as slippery as (SHAMPOO) on a(n) (BURNT) day. The tone was set in the first, when Kelly Johnson started things off with a leadoff double, then stood around doing nothing while Arizona (WALLOWED) all three of their chances without even advancing the runner. That was the only runner in scoring position they would have until the sixth inning (although it felt like the (38)th inning by then), when Drew smoked an opposite-field double. And a couple times when the Diamondbacks would get a baserunner on and start to threaten to put together an inning, somebody would (PULL) up and hit into a double play.

Once Jimenez was safely stuck back in the (CHEVY NOVA) with the rest of the Rockies after his eight shutout innings, Arizona finally woke up a little. Back-to-back hits by Drew and LaRoche set the table for Reynolds, who hit a home run all the way to (QUASAR 45) to break up the shutout and at least keep things interesting. Let’s just say he was about the only Diamondback who earned his (SCHNAPPS) in the post-game spread tonight.

Now, for the pitching. Rodrigo Lopez was faced with the difficult task of out (YANKING) Ubaldo Jimenez, and though he wasn’t terrible, he certainly wasn’t good enough. He gave up a solo shot to Seth Smith in the first, but the (LIVID) blow (and ultimately the difference) was a two-run triple by that (APPIE PIE) Brad Hawpe, with both baserunners having reached via a walk.

Lopez gave up another run in the sixth before calling it a night, but he certainly pitched well enough to keep the team in the game. Of course, that’s a bit misleading, as the Diamondbacks still have just one win this year when they score four runs or less. It’s a good thing that we’ve scored 5+ runs as many times as we have, or this team would REALLY be a (CHESTNUT).

No, the most disappointing part of the night was the continued struggles of one Juan Gutierrez, who basically throws like (SCARLETT JOHANSSEN) at this point. Gutierrez labored just trying to get through one inning, and the Rockies looked to (CURSE) his pitches at every opportunity. The first two batters hit home runs. He managed to (HURRIEDLY) get an out before walking Tulo. One out later he was on the cusp of getting out of the inning, but no. Two straight base hits scored a third run before Gutierrez was mercifully (BULLIED), and he spent the rest of the game looking sad in the dugout. His ERA this year is now 10.00 on the nose, although it might as well be (515). Someone should hit Josh Byrnes over the head with a sack of (SEEDS) if Juan isn’t on the next bus to Reno. Or (BOLIVIA).

Busy GameDay Thread, although once again we fell just short of 1,000 comments — of course, that will change with a flurry of post-game comments like last night mouth. But for the purpose of this recap, no dice. soco led the way with 200+, and Skins and justin also reached triple digits. The rest of the (TRAFFIC CONES): justin1985, katers, Jim McLennan, DbacksSkins, soco, 4 Corners Fan, snakecharmer, Wailord, hotclaws, emilylovesthedbacks, BattleMoses, skoormit, Jdub220, blank_38, AJforAZ, MidnghtDrgn, Dallas D’Back Fan, unnamedDBacksfan, zeusmith, Azreous, edbigghead.

The Comment of the Night, of course, belonged to (DBACKSSKINS), who had a gem about Troy Tulowitzki’s love of (98 DEGREES). We all had a hearty laugh at that one, we did.

Tomorrow, the Diamondbacks will look to avoid a sweep, sending Dan Haren to the mound to try and salvage something in Colorado. I’m sure it will be (WHORISH). You know what — on second thought, maybe we should save some of Mark’s (SCHNAPPS) for ourselves. It might still be a long season.

ADVERB: _Sweetly________
ADJECTIVE: __thunderous________
ADJECTIVE 2: _crazed________
NOUN: __Snot________
ADJECTIVE 3: ___sticky_______
VERB ENDING IN -ED: ____screwed_____
NUMBER GREATER THAN 10: _____17_____
VERB: _____jump_____
NOUN 2: _____toilet_____
CELESTIAL BODY: _big dipper_
ALCOHOLIC BEVERAGE: __Patron___
VERB ENDING IN -ING: ____running______
ADJECTIVE 4: ___loud______
NOUN 3: ______mountain____
NOUN 4: _____tornado_____
EFFEMINATE CELEBRITY: _Ryan Seacrest_
VERB 2: ________laughing__
ADVERB 2: _______smack___
VERB ENDING IN -ED 2: ______rammed____
NUMBER GREATER THAN 100: _____1000_____
PLURAL NOUN: _Volkswagens_________
FARAWAY PLACE: _B.F. Egypt_
PLURAL NOUN 2: ____seeds______
SNAKEPIT USER: ___BattleMoses_______
NAME OF BOY BAND: ____Backstreet Boys______
ADJECTIVE 5: ____gnarly______

No easy task for the Diamondbacks tonight, as they took on the best pitcher in baseball this season in Ubaldo Jimenez. Jimenez has thrown the ball (SWEETLY) this season, with an ERA below 1.00 that only got lower tonight. For Jimenez threw eight (THUNDEROUS) shutout innings, giving up just six hits and a walk. I guess it could be considered a small victory that we only struck out three times with our K-happy lineup.

A summary of the Diamondbacks’ offense on the night won’t take very long to get into, because it was(CRAZED). Cowboys in the old west would probably say it was as slippery as (SNOT) on a(n) (STICKY) day. The tone was set in the first, when Kelly Johnson started things off with a leadoff double, then stood around doing nothing while Arizona (SCREWED) all three of their chances without even advancing the runner. That was the only runner in scoring position they would have until the sixth inning (although it felt like the (17)th inning by then), when Drew smoked an opposite-field double. And a couple times when the Diamondbacks would get a baserunner on and start to threaten to put together an inning, somebody would (JUMP) up and hit into a double play.

Once Jimenez was safely stuck back in the (TOILET) with the rest of the Rockies after his eight shutout innings, Arizona finally woke up a little. Back-to-back hits by Drew and LaRoche set the table for Reynolds, who hit a home run all the way to (BIG DIPPER) to break up the shutout and at least keep things interesting. Let’s just say he was about the only Diamondback who earned his (PATRON) in the post-game spread tonight.

Now, for the pitching. Rodrigo Lopez was faced with the difficult task of out (RUNNING) Ubaldo Jimenez, and though he wasn’t terrible, he certainly wasn’t good enough. He gave up a solo shot to Seth Smith in the first, but the (LOUD) blow (and ultimately the difference) was a two-run triple by that (MOUNTAIN) Brad Hawpe, with both baserunners having reached via a walk.

Lopez gave up another run in the sixth before calling it a night, but he certainly pitched well enough to keep the team in the game. Of course, that’s a bit misleading, as the Diamondbacks still have just one win this year when they score four runs or less. It’s a good thing that we’ve scored 5+ runs as many times as we have, or this team would REALLY be a (TORNADO).

No, the most disappointing part of the night was the continued struggles of one Juan Gutierrez, who basically throws like (RYAN SEACREST) at this point. Gutierrez labored just trying to get through one inning, and the Rockies looked to (LAUGHING) his pitches at every opportunity. The first two batters hit home runs. He managed to (SMACK) get an out before walking Tulo. One out later he was on the cusp of getting out of the inning, but no. Two straight base hits scored a third run before Gutierrez was mercifully (RAMMED), and he spent the rest of the game looking sad in the dugout. His ERA this year is now 10.00 on the nose, although it might as well be (1000). Someone should hit Josh Byrnes over the head with a sack of (VOLKSWAGENS) if Juan isn’t on the next bus to Reno. Or (B.F. EGYPT).

Busy GameDay Thread, although once again we fell just short of 1,000 comments — of course, that will change with a flurry of post-game comments like last night mouth. But for the purpose of this recap, no dice. soco led the way with 200+, and Skins and justin also reached triple digits. The rest of the (SEEDS): justin1985, katers, Jim McLennan, DbacksSkins, soco, 4 Corners Fan, snakecharmer, Wailord, hotclaws, emilylovesthedbacks, BattleMoses, skoormit, Jdub220, blank_38, AJforAZ, MidnghtDrgn, Dallas D’Back Fan, unnamedDBacksfan, zeusmith, Azreous, edbigghead.

The Comment of the Night, of course, belonged to (BATTLEMOSES), who had a gem about Troy Tulowitzki’s love of (BACKSTREET BOYS). We all had a hearty laugh at that one, we did.

Tomorrow, the Diamondbacks will look to avoid a sweep, sending Dan Haren to the mound to try and salvage something in Colorado. I’m sure it will be (GNARLY). You know what — on second thought, maybe we should save some of Mark’s (PATRON) for ourselves. It might still be a long season.