Craig Counsell: the best player in the world, or in the universe?

Nothing like the Onion to ask the questions everyone else is afraid to ask :).

over 2 years ago njjohn 18 comments 0 recs |

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Craig Counsell:

BEST player, or the BESTEST player??

"The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.'"

by DbacksSkins on Jan 4, 2010 8:32 PM EST reply actions

Neither

He’s the bestestest player.

Or was, until someone convinced him to change his batting stance. Now, he’s dead to me.

"I can just see it: Post 'Intervention? Why would I need an intervention?' And then he'd +1 himself."

by kishi on Jan 4, 2010 10:12 PM EST up reply actions 1 recs

Pretty insulting article

Craig Counsell provided some very good years in the Big Leagues, and won a NLCS MVP award, which is probably something the Onion writer didn’t do. Oh, and I believe he’s still playing.

by NASCARbernet on Jan 5, 2010 12:44 AM EST reply actions

Humor.

It’s catching.

"The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.'"

by DbacksSkins on Jan 5, 2010 2:01 AM EST up reply actions

Buzz

Killington

Wear your own fur.

by Marc Fournier on Jan 5, 2010 6:21 AM EST up reply actions 1 recs

+1

"I've had Bailey's out of a shoe, though."

by Dan Strittmatter on Jan 5, 2010 8:08 PM EST up reply actions

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..................

"I've had Bailey's out of a shoe, though."

by Dan Strittmatter on Jan 6, 2010 12:19 PM EST up reply actions

What’s the quote from, by the way?

"Love is the most important thing in the world, but baseball is pretty good too. " ~Greg, age 8

by njjohn on Jan 6, 2010 2:20 PM EST up reply actions

Family Guy?

"The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.'"

by DbacksSkins on Jan 6, 2010 6:06 PM EST up reply actions

Yes

Hilarious character.

Link. The audio sucks, but you can make it out.

"I've had Bailey's out of a shoe, though."

by Dan Strittmatter on Jan 8, 2010 4:06 PM EST up reply actions

No, I wasn't asking.

I was answering.

Probably didn’t need the question mark.

"The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.'"

by DbacksSkins on Jan 8, 2010 6:14 PM EST up reply actions

Didn't it?

No really, didn’t it?

by Counsellmember on Jan 8, 2010 11:17 PM EST up reply actions

I'm

Ron Burgandy?

An early departure? What are the chances of that? If this was a movie, there wouldn't be an early departure.

by soco on Jan 9, 2010 12:36 AM EST up reply actions

+1

"The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.'"

by DbacksSkins on Jan 9, 2010 9:21 AM EST up reply actions

hahahahaha

by rapdawg on Jan 6, 2010 12:46 AM EST up reply actions

I started to highlight things to copy over here

But the entire article is absolutely hilarious (sosry, nascar). Everything was gold until the last sentence, which sorta killed it…

Warning: the above represents the thoughts and opinions of a 16-year-old.
Wanna see how bad I suck at softball? See my stats...

by Wailord on Jan 5, 2010 1:11 AM EST reply actions

Did ya see who's number 2?

Considering we had the #1 (CC) and #2 (QMc) homerun hitters in baseball we could have been an absolute dynasty if it weren’t for those meddling kids!

by SenSurround on Jan 5, 2010 2:00 PM EST reply actions

Hmmm....

alternate universe Dbacks = the Yankees?

"The existence of flamethrowers is proof that someone, somewhere, said to himself, 'I want to set those people over there on fire, but I don't feel like walking over there to do it.'"

by DbacksSkins on Jan 5, 2010 9:25 PM EST up reply actions