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Around SBN: Transfer Rumor: Bolton On Verge of First Signings

Overflow thread, Game #14 vs. Rockies, 4/21

Three innings left, and neither pitching staff has exactly impressed tonight. I've a feeling the scoring on this one might not be over yet...

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lucky 1st

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:11 AM EDT reply actions  

McDonalds

Official Fast Food of the Wyrm known as the Eater-of-Souls, the Beast of Corruption.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:12 AM EDT reply actions  

Come on guys.

Need to hold them and get back on the board with a run or two.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:12 AM EDT reply actions  

Two would be good

More would be better.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

How about 18?

The bullpen might be able to hold that.

by ASUJon on Apr 22, 2009 12:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

Anyone know

if the Flagstaff Taco Bell does the free taco promotion? Chris? Anyone?

I feel like I should get SOMETHING out of this heart attack of a game.

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:13 AM EDT reply actions  

I don't think so

I was told it’s just a Phoenix area thing.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

Oh, no, that's the exception

Phoenix and Manchester, that’s what I read.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

The UK needs Taco Bell

Your lack of Taco Bells disturbs me.

by ASUJon on Apr 22, 2009 12:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

Neither do I (for the most part)

But sometimes, I just want some Taco Bell. Usually this is brought on by beer consumption.

by ASUJon on Apr 22, 2009 12:18 AM EDT up reply actions  

Wait....

doesn’t work in Tucson, either? Dammit…

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

This is what I heard

But I have no definite answers.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

I think

I’ll go tomorrow. Just to find out.

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

OVERTHROW THREAD!!!

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:15 AM EDT reply actions  

So...

You demand a new thread for that?

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

No.

This is it.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

1-2-3 inning for Gutierrez

Now, offense. Do that thing that you do so rarely well. Get some RUNS!

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:17 AM EDT reply actions  

Okay,

I was going to say “WHY THE HELL DID WE LET JUAN CRUZ GET AWAY AGAIN???” until I remembered that Melvin didn’t use him properly, anyway.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:18 AM EDT reply actions  

Ok

Heart of the order coming up for the D-backs. Feeling good about this inning.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:18 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah, but

what about Mrs. Snakepit? She was spot on with a couple of her instincts the other night.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

She hasn't really been tuned in tonight

Outlook Uncertain.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

The Dbacks only seem to pitch well

When I play Waltzing Matilda on my laptop. Is there a link somewhere?

by singaporedbacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:18 AM EDT reply actions  

Then dear God, man!

Start playing Waltzing Matilda!!

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

I fergit

Who did we get for Valverde?

Qualls, Gutierrez, and Burke?

by venomfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:18 AM EDT reply actions  

Yep

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

now

LETS TIE THIS GAME UP NOW!

by Tooch27 on Apr 22, 2009 12:20 AM EDT reply actions  

can someone get a fu cking hit

by Tooch27 on Apr 22, 2009 12:20 AM EDT reply actions  

Putting a space

Does not fool the moderators.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

I pointed this out

in the GDT last night…. that word isn’t allowed here except when explicitly authorized.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

I thiught Street

Was their closer?

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:21 AM EDT reply actions  

Well

With an ERA over 9, I suspect he may have pitched him out of the spot.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

and

of coarse he will shut us down 1 2 3

by Tooch27 on Apr 22, 2009 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

Not anymore.

Problem with his mechanics. I don’t think he had any minor league options, so they’re forced to use him earlier.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:22 AM EDT up reply actions  

Only

until a couple days ago

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

Shame

Petit pitched pretty good (albeit not great), but he joins the long list of recent starters with a no decision or loss.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:21 AM EDT reply actions  

Seems about right for Special K

3 Ks and a Homer…..

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:23 AM EDT reply actions  

that is why we are goig to lose
2 innings 4 hits 4 runs

by Tooch27 on Apr 22, 2009 12:23 AM EDT reply actions  

i wish

i could but they havent gotten a hit in like 4 innings

by Tooch27 on Apr 22, 2009 12:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

You mean

Apart from the two runs they scored in the fifth, two innings ago?

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:27 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hey man.

Let’s try some optimism (and less eff word. Usually looked down upon here.)

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:26 AM EDT up reply actions  

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:28 AM EDT up reply actions  

One plus

regardless of what happens: We’re wearing down the bullpen a bit, and Jorge de la Rosa isn’t exactly known for going deep into ballgames.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:28 AM EDT reply actions  

This was the game I was least optimistic about

One run down after seven is a damn sight closer than I thought it’d be. Not over yet…

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

True

Five inning, three runs, two earned was a better start than I expected out of Petit, so good for him.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

Of course

We’re going to have to score at least one run off of anyone who’s pitching tomorrow to get a damn win for Haren.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

Yes, but

do you really think we’re going to be able to score 6 runs again tomorrow??

When our offense scores 6 and our starter only gives up 2, there is absolutely NO FREAKING REASON WE SHOULD LOSE THAT GAME.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

Not to mention

the fact that the Rockies have a better bullpen than us…

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

Seriously,

this bullpen is a HUGE problem.

Do something, Josh Byrnes! In you we trust!!

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:28 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah!

Sign Juan Cruz!

…Oh.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

Does anyone know what happened

with the Rockies starter? I was a bit confused.

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:28 AM EDT reply actions  

Injurred earlier and taken out of the game. Pulled something apparently

by singaporedbacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

neck or shoulder

We’re all hoping it’s nothing too terrible.

by Rox Girl on Apr 22, 2009 12:30 AM EDT up reply actions  

Here we go...

Rauch in, one again, in a game we’re losing by one run. ‘Skins, haven’t you got some kind of diagram by now?

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:30 AM EDT reply actions  

and he promptly gives up a lead off double.

by singaporedbacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

Like, oh, I dunno,

PUTTING A PRICE ON HIS HEAD??!!

SERIOUSLY. SOMEBODY KILL JON RAUCH. THIS IS THE ONLY WAY MELVIN WILL STOP USING HIM.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rauch time

Hold on to your seats, ladies and gentlemen.

by singaporedbacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:30 AM EDT reply actions  

Aw, Rauch

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:31 AM EDT reply actions  

jesus cristo amado

Rauch entra e já leva uma dupla, holy shift

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:31 AM EDT reply actions  

I don't know what it means

But it sounds surprised. You expected, perhaps…

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:31 AM EDT up reply actions  

Obviously

A prayer to patron saint of capital letters, also known as the Holy Shift.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions  

translating:

“Rauch enters, and promptly gives up a double, holy **** "

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions  

AMEN Brother!!

"If you'd need to know, you'd know. but they decided that you don't need to know,so you don't. So stop thinking about what you don't know because you don't need to know what you think you need to know about!"

by unnamedDBacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 4:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

Big Jon

Big bad Jon

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:32 AM EDT reply actions  

I don't think we've wasted any time

coming up with a good nickname for him when he hasn’t been a good pitcher.

Maybe someday.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions  

Through end of next year

We exercised the option on him for some reason.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:33 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rather than tailor a nickname to him

We’ve just tailored his name to become a profanity.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:34 AM EDT up reply actions  

Howzabout

“GET OUT OF THE ****ING GAME”. Does that work as a nickname?

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

Flyout

advances the runner, so Fowler stands on third as a potential insurance run with one out.

Bear down, Jonny. Bear down.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:33 AM EDT reply actions  

C'mon, Rauch

Get a K.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:34 AM EDT reply actions  

Rauch this

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:36 AM EDT reply actions  

Yeah

Or “Don’t go in the bathroom, I just dropped off a huge, stinking Rauch in there.”

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:39 AM EDT up reply actions  

The in-game stimuli

that enrages me most, like Pavlov’s dog, is still the opening refrain of Josie’s on vacation.

But that stupid tattoo on Rauch’s neck is gaining fast…

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

Josie's on vacation?

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

Which song is that, I mean?

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

Is it?

if so, then yeah. That song makes me wanna rolf too.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

Errr....

rawlf. not ROLF.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

Your Love - the outfield

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:54 AM EDT up reply actions  

Ah.

Yeah, that’s what I thought. That song literally gives me a Pavlovian physical response as well

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:56 AM EDT up reply actions  

Aw, Rauch.

I mean, just Rauch.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:36 AM EDT reply actions  

Rauch

Rauching Rauch.

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 12:37 AM EDT reply actions  

FIRE MELVIN.

AND GRIND JON RAUCH INTO HAMBURGER MEAT.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:37 AM EDT reply actions  

horrible

I was just looking at Rauch’s stats and thought “he hasn’t given up a homer all year”

by venomfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:37 AM EDT reply actions  

Dude

Rauched if I know.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

UGH

The pitchers mound is always a foot higher after Rauch has been there.

by ASUJon on Apr 22, 2009 12:37 AM EDT reply actions  

I knew it...

EVERYONE knew it

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:37 AM EDT reply actions  

Its not even funny how everyone but Melvin knows it.

by singaporedbacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 12:38 AM EDT up reply actions  

Rauch

has given up runs in 6 of his 8 appearances this season.

That’s because he SUCKS.

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:38 AM EDT reply actions  

Well, that's a shocker

Rauch now 5-for-5 in coming into one-run deficits and doubling them or worse.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:38 AM EDT reply actions  

I just...

I just don’t know anymore.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:38 AM EDT reply actions  

renaissance.

"DAMMIT! No, calm down. Learn to enjoy losing." --Hunter S. Thompson
Aut Vincam Aut Periam

by PioneerSkies on Apr 22, 2009 12:39 AM EDT reply actions  

Only if

You consider Jon Rauch and Bobby Korecky “greatly under-rated.”

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH.

I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH. I HATE JON RAUCH.

Did I mention how I feel about Jon Rauch?

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:40 AM EDT reply actions  

ftw

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:40 AM EDT up reply actions  

So

Who wants to start the ‘Fire Melvin’ fan-post?

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:41 AM EDT reply actions  

I do.

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:42 AM EDT up reply actions  

Please do.

I have to remain objective and neutral.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:43 AM EDT up reply actions  

I do want, but I think I'm not capable of, though

since I’ll be throwing some BAD words against him, I tend to lose the focus =[
I think someone like kishi would do a better job.

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

I can work up something bitter.

But it’ll take until tomorrow, so if someone else wants to put up a fan-post now, I’ll add it in the morning as a comment.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

ok, I'll start it, u finish

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:49 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well,

Jim doesn’t know Portuguese, nor does anyone else here, so feel free to use whatever profanities are warranted.

Which would be any and all of them.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.

EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.EU ODEIO JON RAUCH.

brazillian portuguese version.

Wikipedia is accurate. (citation needed)

by Muu on Apr 22, 2009 12:41 AM EDT reply actions  

Photobucket

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

I would just like to point out, if I have not before

The “Jon” in my username in no way refers to Jon Rauch.

I would change my name, but in the words of the immortal Michael Bolton, why should I change, he’s the one who sucks.

by ASUJon on Apr 22, 2009 12:41 AM EDT reply actions  

Come on, offense

It’s not over yet. Just pretend that fastball has Jon Rauch’s face on it.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:42 AM EDT reply actions  

Why

can’t we manage to WIN a game when the starter gives up two and we score SIX?!

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:43 AM EDT reply actions  

Nope

Fly out. Pop-ups go to the infield. No cats will die there, for I am a fair and just, sadistic mo-fo.

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:45 AM EDT up reply actions  

Drooooooo!

Get on base.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:44 AM EDT reply actions  

surprised were not seeing Clark here....

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:45 AM EDT reply actions  

All right, that's it.

If Melvin can’t understand this, I give up.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:45 AM EDT reply actions   1 recs

No

I disapprove of that overlap.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

+1

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:46 AM EDT up reply actions  

No no.

If Rauch were in the middle, it’d be a problem. But he’s not.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

No, see, that's not how venn diagrams work

That implies he should appear in the game at some point.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:49 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Yeah....

Azreous is a verbal person, not spatial…

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

Admittedly,

I would have been smart enough to figure it out had my eyes not been blinded with fiery, fiery rage.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:04 AM EDT up reply actions  

You're pretty good

with pictures and diagrams. It’s about time you make some up to edjumuncate Bomel.

"If you'd need to know, you'd know. but they decided that you don't need to know,so you don't. So stop thinking about what you don't know because you don't need to know what you think you need to know about!"

by unnamedDBacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 4:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

Done.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 11:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

but this graph would mean

that Rauch and “pitchers who appear in games” are sometimes the same….

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:49 AM EDT up reply actions  

All right, look.

I wanted to do a quick diagram, but I didn’t want to spend more than four seconds staring on Jon Rauch’s damn face.

If someone else wants to correct this flaw, by all means.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:50 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Here we go

Kishi to the rescue

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:56 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

Jon Rauch

is still entirely too close to the field for my comfort.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions   1 recs

The way I envision it

He’s standing outside the stadium, holding a boom box over his head that’s blaring “In Your Eyes” by Peter Gabriel.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:59 AM EDT up reply actions  

Hmm.

All right, I’ll buy it as long as anyone walking up to the stadium can kick him in the junk.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:00 AM EDT up reply actions  

Of course

With the boom box in his hands, he can’t defend himself, and is, in fact, likely to accidentally drop the boom box on his head when you kick him. Everyone wins. Except Peter Gabriel.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

Or maybe even

drop the boom box on his junk.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

rofl

…not to be a pest, but there are two small breaches in the circle around Rauch which have me concerned.

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 1:03 AM EDT up reply actions  

No worry

That’s where hoses go so we can pump in the knockout gas so we can steal back his contract money.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

I was wondering why

you positioned him so close to Chase Field…the lines are almost touching.

But these are good holes. Holes that cant hurt us. Holes that will bring a new tomorrow.

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 1:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

It was all calculated

What, you thought I just made the graphic a random size and then realized how terrible the scale was? Ha! Hardly! Foolish to even consider it!

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:14 AM EDT up reply actions  

Good stuff

I havent laughed that hard on this site since…well, ever really.

If the FO is the focus of anything, something is seriously wrong with the picture ! - unnamedDBacksfan 2/20/09

by Diamondhacks on Apr 22, 2009 1:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

well

technically he appears,like a fart in a spacesuit.

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:50 AM EDT up reply actions  

Agreed

the circles should be separated like a perky pair of boobs.

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:47 AM EDT up reply actions  

Better yet

Like Pluto and Mercury

"Win, or die" -- Marquise de Merteuil

by Jim McLennan on Apr 22, 2009 12:48 AM EDT up reply actions  

Tying run at the plate

One out.

Get it done, Tracy!

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 12:49 AM EDT reply actions  

Aaaaand dawn breaks here

just like my heart

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:49 AM EDT reply actions  

Montero walks as well.

Tying run to the plate, but we don’t need a long ball. Just keep getting on base.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:49 AM EDT reply actions  

This

No sense striking out swinging fo the fences.

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 12:51 AM EDT up reply actions  

But

how else will we ever score runz!!???

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:08 AM EDT up reply actions  

Oh lawdy

I have everything crossd

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:50 AM EDT reply actions  

and now Clark is up.....

but he did hit two longballs against the Rox earlier this year

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:52 AM EDT reply actions  

And now

Melvin will use that to justify getting Tony Clark into EVERY GAME FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:09 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well

If that happens, at least he’s on pace to shatter Mark’s season K record.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:10 AM EDT up reply actions  

So, hey,

if that’s our goal, then we should be fine.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:12 AM EDT up reply actions  

Tony Clark

REALLY?

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 12:52 AM EDT reply actions  

Hey guys

Showed up late just before bed. Just here for good luck. Go Dbax!

by Wailord on Apr 22, 2009 12:52 AM EDT reply actions  

Good.

The guy most likely to GIDP or K.

Wonderful.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:52 AM EDT reply actions  

Hindsight

does not change the awful decision making.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:53 AM EDT up reply actions  

WP

Runners on second and third.

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 12:53 AM EDT reply actions  

Oh man just put the ball in play

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:54 AM EDT reply actions  

If you can't reach down that low

Then why are you swinging at those pitches?

by ASUJon on Apr 22, 2009 12:54 AM EDT reply actions  

can Tony go in that circle too?

You know how to cut to the core of me, Baxter. You're so wise. Like a miniature Buddha, covered with hair.

by Snake Bitten on Apr 22, 2009 12:54 AM EDT reply actions  

wtf??

I know Tony Clark has a huge strike zone, but why the hell is a ball halfway down the calf called a strike?

Then again, I guess that’s why TC swings at the two balls at his ankles….

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 12:54 AM EDT reply actions  

let's go Lopez!

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 12:54 AM EDT reply actions  

Well,

at least our hottest hitter so far this year is up now.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:55 AM EDT reply actions  

Wow

Talk about Special K.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 12:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

But

he hit two HRs once!!

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

Plus

He’s a veteran presence.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

oh TC

your leadership better come through because your batting didn’t

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 12:55 AM EDT reply actions  

Way too

Low to be swinging at. 0-2…

by Wailord on Apr 22, 2009 12:55 AM EDT reply actions  

Okay, let's see, look for the bright side...

At least we gave up those two runs in the top half so Clark’s screwup wasn’t with the tying run at third instead of at home?

…Yeah?

…::sobs uncontrollably::

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 12:57 AM EDT reply actions  

Um

Can we include basically the entire bullpen and Tony Clark in that diagram?

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 12:58 AM EDT reply actions  

Looking back

Why didn’t we bring SS to face Helton instead of Slaten? I thought he should be the “go to” LOOGY

by singaporedbacksfan on Apr 22, 2009 1:00 AM EDT reply actions  

Here's my prediction for the next few months

1) Coaching change in late May
2) TC released in June, Whitesell promoted
3) Webb traded in a blockbuster in July
4) Rauch traded in August in exchange for a few boxes of balls and a new mascot costume

by venomfan on Apr 22, 2009 1:00 AM EDT reply actions  

#4

someone will get a bad bargain

Nick Adenhart R.I.P.

by hotclaws on Apr 22, 2009 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

I think

“boxes” might be entirely too optimistic.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:01 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well, like I said,

the Padres got like an extra remote for the clubhouse TV when they traded Chris Burke. Maybe we could flip a deal like that.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:02 AM EDT up reply actions  

Reggie Dunlop

got the Hansons for a used puck bag, we probably won’t be able to get rid of Rauch for much better.

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

Okay, seriously

WHY IS TONY CLARK STILL ON THE ROSTER??

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:24 AM EDT up reply actions  

BOOOOLOWITZKI

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:00 AM EDT reply actions  

Oh Gracie.

“Got it up, but couldn’t get it in”

Thaaaat’s what sheee said!

by emilylovesthedbacks on Apr 22, 2009 1:03 AM EDT reply actions  

What?

Schoeneweis gave up a hit to a righty? Who would have forseen this bizarre occurrence?

What do you mean, “most everyone”?

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:03 AM EDT reply actions  

Melvin is a leader

not a follower. He doesn’t let outside sources influence his innovative thinking. ;-)

by Brendan Scolari on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

Like

“facts” and stuff like that.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:19 AM EDT up reply actions  

Look, Melvin goes with his gut

Unfortunately, his intestinal track doesn’t know shit about baseball.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

I don't get it.

I was disappointed when you originally acquired him. I thought you got a steal. Guess not…

by Brendan Scolari on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

we got him

from New Deal Used Cars, enough said.

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:11 AM EDT up reply actions  

Right now?

We’ve been loving him for the past nine months! But our rage baby is finally close to being birthed!

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT up reply actions  

Just wondering...

First off, Rauch sucks. Felt like that’s not said enough.
Anyway, who would you guys like to see traded for Webb if the D’bax were put in a position where they had to?

by Wailord on Apr 22, 2009 1:05 AM EDT reply actions  

Too soon, man.

Too soon.

(P.S.: Johan Santana kthx.)

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:06 AM EDT up reply actions  

Tim Lincecum FTW

(FTW=For The Webb)

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

Come on, guys

Didn’t we torment Manny Corpas last year? Can we do it again now?

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:07 AM EDT reply actions  

We tormented

ALL the Rockies last year, though.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:21 AM EDT up reply actions  

even Petit

pitches a decent game and the pen still can’t do us any favors…Rauch has infected them all.

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:08 AM EDT reply actions  

You know,

I just noticed that Melvin double switched our leading hitter this year out of the game a couple innings ago.

So…yeah. Play that hot hand.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:08 AM EDT reply actions  

And then

switched in TONY CLARK.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:25 AM EDT up reply actions  

How about

Some back-to-back-to-back-to-back daggers right here?

by Wailord on Apr 22, 2009 1:09 AM EDT reply actions  

daggers rule

ramp locals, go back to the valley!

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

Reynolds, base hit.

We still have some hope.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:11 AM EDT reply actions  

Mark

keeps the dream alive. Or the nightmare.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:11 AM EDT reply actions  

People behind home plate

Yes, we get it, you’re on TV. It’s the ninth inning. Give it a rest.

Babe Ruth was a jerk but baseball's still a beautiful game - Dean Winchester

by luckycc on Apr 22, 2009 1:12 AM EDT reply actions  

Sometimes

people make me so very angry.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:13 AM EDT up reply actions  

awesome

the one game winning streaks continue.

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:13 AM EDT reply actions  

Okay,

this game might possibly be THE most frustrating game OF THE YEAR.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:13 AM EDT reply actions  

just you wait

it’s still early…the pen has lots of work to do yet.

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

I'm seriously

going to have a stroke if this ****ing bullshit goes on……

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:29 AM EDT up reply actions  

Game Over

Gutierrez with the loss… Rauch sucks. The entire bullpen does. There are too many holes in the team to fix easily.

by Wailord on Apr 22, 2009 1:13 AM EDT reply actions  

I think Gutierrez looks really good.

Don’t be worried yet, there is still tons of games left.

by Brendan Scolari on Apr 22, 2009 1:16 AM EDT up reply actions  

yeah, for the dodgers

trade you rauch for eithier straight up.

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:20 AM EDT up reply actions  

Your eyes do not deceive you.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:23 AM EDT up reply actions  

We've got a few guys who can do well

We just need to get things working in sync.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:17 AM EDT up reply actions  

i'd sooner get rauch'd

in the middle of nowhere. you know, up a crick without a paddle?

by jonny-yuma on Apr 22, 2009 1:15 AM EDT up reply actions  

Great.

So the Rockies already have as many wins against us as last year.

Granted, last year’s results would have been extremely difficult to duplicate, but still. It sounds sad.

by Azreous on Apr 22, 2009 1:23 AM EDT reply actions  

That sounds INCREDIBLY sad

Because what are the chances of us sweeping them the rest of the season….

by snakecharmer on Apr 22, 2009 1:56 AM EDT up reply actions  

Well,

this game was about as fun as as digging out my own eyes with Phillips head screwdrivers before pouring sulfuric acid into the eyeholes.

Then, just for fun, eating a turd sandwich.

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:24 AM EDT reply actions  

And FSN AZ dies on my TV

Kinda would have liked that a few innings earlier, probably.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:24 AM EDT reply actions  

For the first time

I believe that my annual trip with my dad to see the Cubs @ Az will, for the first time, result in a big ohfer and he’ll need to pack a broom. Sucks.

by Wailord on Apr 22, 2009 1:25 AM EDT reply actions  

Popping in....

Saw the end of the game after coming back from seeing my sister. (It was a great surprise btw!) Maaan, Petit does his usual reliable 5-and-3 and the bullpen sucks it up AGAIN??? I expect heads to roll (preferably Rauch’s) by the end of the week/month.

I think it’s time to break out last year’s motto again – “At least the Dodgers lost.” (Thanks, Ortiz and Valverde!)

by snakecharmer on Apr 22, 2009 1:53 AM EDT reply actions  

do the Dodgers even matter anymore?

dear God, I hope they end up like we did last year

Insert witty and/or humorous signature here.

by DbacksSkins on Apr 22, 2009 1:55 AM EDT up reply actions  

Isn't a more relevent question:

“Do we even matter anymore?” We are back to fifth in the standings…

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 1:56 AM EDT up reply actions  

"At least the Padres lost"?

The entire NL West can’t lose when they play each other…..

by snakecharmer on Apr 22, 2009 1:57 AM EDT up reply actions  

Related to nothing

But I’d just like to state that, of all the SBN blogs I’ve looked at, Addicted to Quack has to be the best title out there.

"He can't re-educate them in camps! He'd have to educate them first."

by kishi on Apr 22, 2009 2:17 AM EDT reply actions  

Um

Can you retract your statement about the grasshoppers sticking around for the Cubs? I only go to Cubs @ Dbacks games and I’m a wuss when it comes to bugs. Hehe…

by Wailord on Apr 25, 2009 1:08 AM EDT reply actions  

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