Apocalypse Now, or how the Diamondbacks prevented the end of the world as we know it

No way is that story true. It’s obvious that the bullpen cannot save anything this season.

the black hole actually evaporated due to Hawking radiation. No word yet as to whether Stephen Hawking has modified his theory to include suckage envy.

In slight fear. So I blame you for my sleep deprivation today. I will rue you ALLL day long. ;)

I’m finding some conflicting reports on this. www.hasthelargehadroncolliderdestroyedtheworldyet.com still says that, no, the earth hasn’t been destroyed by the LHC. However, the International Earth-Destruction Advisory Board put out this today:

Urgent update, September 10, 2008

It is our duty to inform you that as of 7:35:05am UTC on September 10, 2008, the Earth has been destroyed.

The destruction of Earth was first reported by Mr Jonathan Barber of Wisconsin, United States, who spotted that his home-made seismic Earth Detector had ceased to give readings at around 8:00am (2am local time). Several other amateur geocide spotters noticed this at the same time but Mr. Barber was the first to place a telephone call to the IEDAB’s Geocide Hotline (+44 115 09Ω 4127, ask for Other Dave) at which point IEDAB officials performed an emergency check of their own instrumentation and verified Mr. Barber’s report, as well as fixing the exact time of geocide.

Evidence is still being collated, but preliminary results suggest that the Earth was destroyed pre-emptively by scientists at the Large Hadron Collider at CERN, Geneva, Switzerland, before the commencement of their experiments to locate the Higgs Boson, as a precautionary measure to ensure that the experiment itself could not result in the destruction of the Earth.

Damn those scientists!