If you were a D-Back.....

Bob Melvin. My time is spent trying to manage the ever-changing roster of personalities that make up the squad here, helping them to live up to their potential and ensure no-one gets out of hand. I am also prone to make the odd embarrassing error when I should really know better, and am rather too fond of the sacrifice pun, using it when other tactics might be more appropriate. On the other hand, I like to think that I’m occasionally capable of pulling something out of my ass which surprises and delights, justifying the “Mad Scientist” moniker.

This a tough one. I guess I’d be most like Chris Burke; utterly useless but still always there, with only the occasional hit to my name.

I keep showing up and bringing my positive veteran presence to the dugout. Coach and RJ love me… but really, every one knows I’m superfluous and if mgmt was smart, they’d bring up somebody better.

Yeah I know that HBP hurt, but take your base. If you’re thinking about going out to visit my pitcher, you won’t make it 3 steps.

obv.

His flying nun is exactly what I do in the back-yard when I yank one over the neighbors fence. I then taunt my kids as I run around the bases…...

old with a worn out back but there’s life in the old dog yet

Just cause i kick so much ass. lol

You all really enjoy me being around but I occasionally do stupid crap such as flip throws that make you roll your eyes. Most of you slightly overvalued me last July and now I’m on the DL (haven’t had good enough internet connection recently to stick around for gameday threads) But you all know I’ll be back eventually, with my crappy haircut doing something to make you crack a smile and then get pissed that I’m not as good as the guy that was supposed to post on here this year in my place.

I hit the roof in limited appearances

I really don’t know how I could compare myself to any D back…..

but if I were to aspire to be like any D Back it would be Webb…..

He is the best at what he does, yet he is humble, gracious, unassuming and down to earth.

All things I am not, and wish I were.

Definitely Danny Haren, if only for my fascination with beards and shared aspect of having long hair.

Conor Jackson. A year or two older than many of the young stars around here, but a pretty frequent commenter. Tony Clark kept stealing my posting opportunities for the last couple years, though- no, wait, never mind.

Anyway, I think that if DbacksSkins (he of the 200+ comments in a Gameday Thread) claims to be anyone other than Orlando Hudson, he’s probably wrong.