If you were a D-Back.....

by Wimb on May 31, 2008 8:05 AM EDT Comment 20 comments

Ok screw this depressive run of results, and screw normal convention it's Saturday morning I'm hungover and up for a laugh or two :)

So I'm going to ask the pointless but potentially amusing question of based on life at the 'pit which Diamondback (past or present) would you compare yourself too?

Whilst office life is fast turning me into a Russ Ortiz sized person this is about the 'Pit and based on my posting habits I'd say I'm a bit of an Augie Ojeda.

I'm not usually in the Game(day thread) for that long but occasionally when the timezones match I can put in a full performance. I'm never likely to go yard and fill out 200 posts and only rarely post a fanpost in depth but am i am full of single one liners :) and I'm happy to walk into a fanpost at any time

Anyways yes this seems slightly stupid but heck anything to lighten the mood oh and feel free to nominate anyone else for a player, should be worth a chuckle

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I am...

Bob Melvin. My time is spent trying to manage the ever-changing roster of personalities that make up the squad here, helping them to live up to their potential and ensure no-one gets out of hand. I am also prone to make the odd embarrassing error when I should really know better, and am rather too fond of the sacrifice pun, using it when other tactics might be more appropriate. On the other hand, I like to think that I’m occasionally capable of pulling something out of my ass which surprises and delights, justifying the “Mad Scientist” moniker.

by Jim McLennan on May 31, 2008 12:10 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Hm...

This a tough one. I guess I’d be most like Chris Burke; utterly useless but still always there, with only the occasional hit to my name.

The boys in Sedona Red slugged it out with a pretty pesky poltergeist, then stayed on to dance the night away with some of the lovely ladies who witnessed the disturbance.

by soco on May 31, 2008 12:22 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Robby Hammock

I keep showing up and bringing my positive veteran presence to the dugout. Coach and RJ love me… but really, every one knows I’m superfluous and if mgmt was smart, they’d bring up somebody better.

"There are only two seasons: winter and baseball"
-- Bill Veeck

by njjohn on May 31, 2008 1:55 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Chris Snyder

Yeah I know that HBP hurt, but take your base. If you’re thinking about going out to visit my pitcher, you won’t make it 3 steps.

by TAP on May 31, 2008 2:25 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Kirk Gibson

obv.

by dahlian on May 31, 2008 2:26 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, you WISH you were Kirk Gibson....

Max Scherzer is all out of bubblegum.

by DbacksSkins on Jun 3, 2008 12:41 AM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Eric Byrnes for me......

His flying nun is exactly what I do in the back-yard when I yank one over the neighbors fence. I then taunt my kids as I run around the bases…...

by dstorm on May 31, 2008 7:12 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

oh yea, and sometimes I dive head-first into first base…...

by dstorm on May 31, 2008 7:15 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Randy Johnson

old with a worn out back but there’s life in the old dog yet

We will meet in Red 3 at the hour of scampering.

by hotclaws on May 31, 2008 8:04 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Webb

Just cause i kick so much ass. lol

by Zephon on May 31, 2008 10:36 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Actually

I’ll go with justin upton. We’re both young, with a lot of potential.

by Zephon on May 31, 2008 10:38 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

Definetely Byrnes

You all really enjoy me being around but I occasionally do stupid crap such as flip throws that make you roll your eyes. Most of you slightly overvalued me last July and now I’m on the DL (haven’t had good enough internet connection recently to stick around for gameday threads) But you all know I’ll be back eventually, with my crappy haircut doing something to make you crack a smile and then get pissed that I’m not as good as the guy that was supposed to post on here this year in my place.

Baseball season, when everything becomes right in the world.

by seton hall snake pit on Jun 1, 2008 12:08 AM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Yamil Benitez

I hit the roof in limited appearances

by Diamondhacks on Jun 1, 2008 1:13 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

If I could be like any D Back:

I really don’t know how I could compare myself to any D back…..

but if I were to aspire to be like any D Back it would be Webb…..

He is the best at what he does, yet he is humble, gracious, unassuming and down to earth.

All things I am not, and wish I were.

by shoewizard on Jun 1, 2008 1:37 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

Definitely Danny Haren, if only for my fascination with beards and shared aspect of having long hair.

by isoldout on Jun 1, 2008 3:59 PM EDT reply actions 0 recs

I guess...

Conor Jackson. A year or two older than many of the young stars around here, but a pretty frequent commenter. Tony Clark kept stealing my posting opportunities for the last couple years, though- no, wait, never mind.

Anyway, I think that if DbacksSkins (he of the 200+ comments in a Gameday Thread) claims to be anyone other than Orlando Hudson, he’s probably wrong.

"Look, I'm not a financial expert or anything, but I'm pretty sure that a zeppelin is an excellent investment opportunity."

by kishi on Jun 1, 2008 7:17 PM EDT reply actions 2 recs

well played

Baseball season, when everything becomes right in the world.

by seton hall snake pit on Jun 1, 2008 10:30 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs

+100

right on – we need to designate DbacksSkins honorary O-Dawg status - Jim, can we clearly mark off his area on the website :)

Skins, you are definitely the SnakePit player of the month for May—you’ve been tearing it up :) Now keep it going for the month of June – no time to slow down now…. we need your offense.

by dstorm on Jun 1, 2008 10:51 PM EDT up reply actions 0 recs